my friend is nt in happymarraige,its 6th time in three years time she has seperated from her husband?

Question

and always she goes back to him on his promises, but after a while he always turnd to be same,now this time what shall i say to her? she is going for marraige councelling,do u think it ll work, he is very controlling, and harsh over her, both r from very different culture, she left all her ways for him and he is like this, she is thinkng to rent a house on her own wid her own to get space,but at the same time she is scared as well, she is nt very brave, she is staying wid me at the moment, what shall i advice her for this?plz help me, do u think i shud say her to rent a house, coz he wont move from tht house,or shall i ask her to go for another chance??

Answer 1

Counseling may help. Are these ridiculous arguments over things that don't really matter or are they about things such as cheating? Sometimes people get angry and separate over stupid things that should be forgotten. Maybe counseling will help them learn to communicate instead of running away from their marital problems.

Answer 2

i definitely would not suggest that she go back to her husband. If he hasnt changed at all after the first time she left him, the chances of him ever changing are slim to none.

i think your doing a good thing by letting her stay with you for right now. the first thing she needs to do is realize that she is a human being too, and deserves to be treated like one rather than someone elses property. this is diminishing to a persons self esteem. after some time, she should begin to regain some of her self confidence, when she realizes she doesnt need this guy to survive. i suggest you spend alotta time with her, this will help.

and when she feels confident enough, still remain in close contact with her but i would urge her to find herself a nice little apartment or something where she can have her peace and quiet and sanity.

its his loss, not hers.

and if shes scared of this guy, call the cops, get a restraining order to keep him away.

good luck, i hope it all works out



shes just gotta know that she can do it

Answer 3

Obviously if hes harsh and controlling you should not advise you're friend to go back to him.

Infact the chances are no matter what you say she will make her own mind up anyway & probably not listen.

Love is blinde as they say.



All you can do right now is keep giving her friendship & listen to her.. thats what she needs most (support).

Tell her that no matter what she is always welcome to come and stay with you and whatever she does decide to do you will be there.



I do think its best for her to get away from him. However, if they are considering councilling then this could help so keep positive!



Good luck to you and you're friend !



x

Answer 4

well as a friend you can only say and do so much to help..

if it were me i'd tell her that she's a big girl and she needs to make up her mind... once or twice you feel sorry for her but 6 times and still in the same mess it's get old...

if she wants to deal with him and his insecurities then there's no bother complaining about it when it happens... if she can't take it anymore then she can go find her own place and her own happiness...

it's scary to move on cause you're so use to being with that person but you have to start somewhere and better to do it sooner than later...all you can really do is be there to support her..

Answer 5

Mikey,

Most do overs do not work. I know of three that tried a second time and they just don't work. Tell her it's time for her to fend for herself, obviously she has not done so before and needs to take command of the problem. Not much you can do to help her than you already have. If she continues to go back to him, nothing you can do and I'd tell her when it happens again, not to call you. I had a friend in same sitch, and I had to tell him, "if you go back to her and she throws you out again, I don't want to ever hear about it" and he agreed, went back to her, three weeks later he's out again. He didn't say so, but I could tell. Get rid of this problem, it's not yours to conquer.

Seriously,

Sharpy S

Answer 6

Golddigga

Answer 7

i have realized from personal experience that if she keeps goin back to him and he really is sorry that they are in love and the breaking up will only make them stronger.