Question:
I nee advice Please?
Scott B
2007-04-05 14:29:08 UTC
I asked this question yesterday Here is the question i asked yesterday....My friend has been together with his wife for 15 years and the entire time his wife has been overweight. He has asked her to try and lose weight for the last 14 years and she says YES I WILL TRY but Never sticks to it and HE SUPPORTS HER IN ALL WAYS .He tells her lets go for a walk babe And he even got both him and his wife fitness memberships but she never sticks to it. What can he do He mentally going crazy. He wants a baby and so does his wife but if she doesnt lose weight that is not possible. Before you answer this question can Everyone Please look at it from both sides also He wants Make Love to His Wife but because of her size he has to Clean her first and that a Major Turnoff for him.
Ten answers:
anonymous
2007-04-05 14:39:05 UTC
When weight issues are this extreme, there is more to it than getting a membership to the gym. There is probably a psychological reason for her weight as well. I would start with therapy and hypnotherapy. Hypnotherapists can help you to change the patterns in your mind that cause this problem. They can help with motivation, determination, etc. The only problem is that she has to want to change this.



I think a therapist that also specializes in sex therapy can help her to realize how this is affecting their sexuality. If she is motivated to have a baby, this can help with her motivation to lose weight. He can also talk to a therapist to find out the best ways for him to support her on this journey because it will be difficult for her.
oursnowbaby32
2007-04-05 14:46:27 UTC
Speaking as an overweight wife - if he truly loves her, he has to patient with her!! Weight does not come off overnight. He needs to understand that the person who needs to lose the weight has to want too. It is a huge lifestyle change and is not easy. I began dieting 6 months ago after we had our son (so heavy woman can have babies) and I have lost 22 pounds. So that tells you, it is a long process. If it is her health he is concerned about, then talk to her doc about gastric bypass surgery. He needs to be understanding at this time and not pushy. And this deal about "cleaning" her before they make love - what is that all about? I have never heard of such a thing. Is it her weight or is there a hygenie issue? Heavy people are clean people!!! And my last comment: why is this such a huge concern for you???
3whiskerbiscuits
2007-04-05 14:40:37 UTC
I understand she has a problem finding motivation to workout. Personally me I find just running on a treadmill is boring and I don't like to do it. But hiking in the moutains or on a trail, bike riding through a nice park, or taking an aerobic type class with music could be what she needs. I know here the YMCA offers classes of yoga, a bootcamp type and other classes that are fun so it doesn't seem like your working out but you are. Also, maybe she has a thyroid type problem. Once medically she is cleared it sounds she just needs an aerobic activity that doesn't seem like working out. And eating well helps in that aspect too.
anonymous
2007-04-05 14:39:18 UTC
The heavier you are, the slower your metabolism. She may be too overweight to manage weight loss without professional help. Most major hospitals have weight loss support groups that could help her. Gastric Bypass surgery may be a viable option also, but it is not the quick, easy fix some people think.
Stefka
2007-04-05 14:38:28 UTC
If he has been trying to get her to lose weight for 14 out of 15 years then she was overweight when he married her and he took it upon himself to change her after he was married. He was wrong. She is who she is and no one can force her to lose weight or exercise. She will do it when she decides that is really what she wants and not before. And he shouldn't have expected her to lose weight just because he married her. It's not his job to fix her - he needs to fix himself. And quite frankly, sharing with you his need to "clean her" prior to intimacy is more information then you needed to know or share out here. Shame on you! Live your own life.
Courtney
2007-04-05 14:37:54 UTC
If she's been overweight since they've been together, why on earth is he expecting her to change now? I'm not justifying obesity, but come on: we ALL know you can't expect someone to change just because you put a ring on their finger.



If he's not happy, he needs to have the courage to leave.
sanzone
2016-11-27 02:10:07 UTC
don't experience stupid, i might get a attempt and purely see, despite if it truly is to place your recommendations comfortable. yet specific, I even have heard that some women individuals have conceived even nevertheless their tubes have been tied.
Mike
2007-04-05 14:52:22 UTC
First of all, why is this YOUR problem? They need counseling



Secondly, fat women can get pregnant with no problems



Why does he have to "clean her first"???



I'm not buying it
sunbun
2007-04-05 14:38:11 UTC
welp, she was like this when he married her...so he is stuck...she didn't change, he did
anonymous
2007-04-05 14:41:05 UTC
sorry, i cant help u on that one


This content was originally posted on Y! Answers, a Q&A website that shut down in 2021.
Loading...