How to prevent divorce?

Question

Im 21 now, and I still dont have a relationship (bf). I think that its ok cuz i can wait. I am just waiting for the right life partner :) He must be honest and nice :) But sadly nowadays it seems like most of the people nowadays are together for a few years and then they divorce. Even famous people (celebs) and others. I am afraid that in the future, my relationship will turn out to be like that and i'll be all alone. I want someone who will promise to me like they will be forever with me, cuz i believe in true love. I am also afraid that the man i love will divorce me after I turn old and he'l go out with a younger lady. I hear that it happens alot and its really very sad. I know that we can never predict the future but just some tips would be helpful. Guys I also want your personal opinions on my question :) I'm a girl btw :)

Thanks :)

Answer 1

If you're a Christian, like me, the best advice is to find a guy who has God as his number one priority. If he has God so high in his life, he will show you more respect, honor, and purity. Make sure that the guy you find likes you for your personality and who you are - not just your body.

Answer 2

So many things could happen in your life and in your husband's life, that sadly there's no fool-proof way to prevent divorce. But I'd say the best strategy would be to take your time before getting married. Don't just date someone for a couple years, or even a few years - date them for SEVERAL years! Marry them only after you've seen them at their best AND their WORST.



Another good tip is to make sure you find someone you can argue with respectfully and compassionately. Bad times will come, so you want to know your partner won't treat you like crap or be a terrible communicator or unable to make changes, etc etc. On that note, always be the best girlfriend YOU can be as well. Be kind, and respectful, and loving, even in hard times, even in fights! And make sure your boyfriend is the same.



If things start to go bad down the road, make sure you and your boyfriend are both the types who would seek help from a counselor. Nobody's perfect, but that's why there are people to help us, if we allow them. Make sure you're both willing to have help and not just accept badness as something unfixable.



I'm sure this one's a given, but of course, don't give up. :) Go into it believing that divorce is not an option, that you will work through absolutely anything. Before you get married, make sure your husband-to-be has the same attitude towards marriage and divorce as you do.



Speaking of attitudes, make sure you have the same values! Before you get married, talk about your beliefs and opinions on everything and anything, and talk about possible problems BEFORE they become problems: to have children or not, how to raise them, what to do if someone loses a job, how to handle money, where to live, what to do if one of you needs to move, what to do if someone cheats (it must be talked about, even if you don't think it will happen), sexual compatibility, religious beliefs, political beliefs, etc etc etc!



I should mention though that sometimes divorce is for the best, because two people are just wrong for each other and are making each other miserable. But if you pick the right person and take your time, hopefully that won't happen in the first place. :)

Answer 3

All divorces are caused by marriage. So prevent marriage, and you will prevent a divorce. Easy as that.



But everyone has to try it a few times... I will say some do well, others, not so much. The biggest mistake is settling. Many start to get old, and feel like they will never find someone. Their friends tell them that no one is perfect, and just find the best person you can. Of course the real trick to finding someone is not trying to find someone. In fact, I would not even go at finding a partner and just being happy with your own life, and do you own thing. Don't worry about biological clocks, what others have, and how it seems like all the good ones are gone. They are really not.



So the best thing you can do and just live your authentic life. Don't try to be someone you're not to attract others. If you are truly yourself, in whatever fashion, appearance and attitude, the person who is attracted to you the most will find the real quality about you attractive.



Sadly, so many women are smitten by the game that many guys play, that makes a girl feel like a princess. It's so powerful that many cannot control themselves, and find themselves lured by guys they know will not be good partners. I think you have to crash and burn on a few of these to really mature to where you are not played the fool when actually committing. Marrying a gamer is like expecting them to not only cheat on you, but eventually leave you lonely or gone all other either by your doing, or theirs.



If you find the right one, it will be fun growing old together. If you marry the wrong one, well, you will start over one day, and try it again, and maybe again until you meet the right person. The most important part to remember is that marriage is not till death does us part anymore. You don't win when you get married. You don't to sit back and feel like your done in that regard. It's just a legal formality to essentially start a family, and have partner rights. Once married you have to change the program to maintain your partner, and they have to reciprocate. So don't confuse lust for love, and take your time on getting married.



Of course, you could just stay single. It just may be an easier route, but I know, we all have to give it a go, and failure is not the end. It's often a learning experience.

Answer 4

communication, an open mind, a sense of comfortability with sharing your honest feeling and being able to handle the truth are the keys to a lasting relationship but all this works only if both of you do all these things. 8 years and still going strong we were together since we were 14 and we are now 22 so this advice is coming from a more up to date couple not some old fashion back in the day couple.

Answer 5

I'm 43 and was with my wife for 17 years. Last year she had a mid life crisis, had an emotional affair with a guy from work and divorced me this year. Looking back, I never saw this coming. She grew up going to catholic school and came from a religious family. Her parents and sisters were all in long term and seemingly stable marriages.



I guess as a preventative step, you might want to have check ins with your spouse every 6 months or so and ask how things are going or what might make them happier.



Also, having date nights is important. This is one thing that we failed to do because we had young kids and lived far away from relatives to help babysit them.



If you see a sign of trouble, get into couples therapy immediately.

Answer 6

Here's the secret to a forever-lasting marriage- don't give up. If both people just simply do not give up, then that's all! I think that the reason why there are so many divorces is because, number one, people get married for the wrong reasons, number two, people give up easily, and number three, people get married without knowing the person long enough (so they choose the wrong one.) So as long as you find the right person, one you can get along with and love with all your heart, and don't give up, then it will last forever:) I believe in true love, too! It's out there! Don't give up!

Answer 7

Rosie, It's unpreventable people are how they are some people find the right person and some find a few so called right people. it's life and it isn't perfect. it isn't a hollywood movie where it is always a happy ending. all you can really do is be yourself and let someone come to you. but at the same time keep your guard up and read the signs before hand. you are young and everyone does eventually find their mr/mrs right. timing is all it is.

Answer 8

By mutual understanding &adjustment.