Why do men have to move so quickly and then turn insane when they dont get what they want?

Question

I am a divorced 30 yr old single mother who is just looking for a friend and this has happened to me more then once. I meet a seemingly nice guy but within a week he is talking about marriage and his plans for kids ect...and after 2 weeks i am out of there! Before i run i specifically tell them that this IS NOT what i want but then they turn into a crazy stalker type that didn't hear a word i said and starts texting me and calling me names and sending sexual nasty thoughts. What is wrong with these people. Are the 30 yr olds that have never been married just nuts!
fyi: i never get sexually with any of them.

Answer 1

Why are you specifying 30-year-olds that "have never been married"? I ask because I hope that isn't one of the things you are seeking in a guy, because if it is then that's why you are stuck with the worst. Someone goes 30 years without taking that step and there is (NOT always) but almost always a major reason no one has married them. Also, even if they are perfectly fine (which will be a rarity) they will likely be feeling extreme pressure to get those experiences underway. You are much better off dating other divorcees and not excluding people with families.

Answer 2

Well one reason why they may be talking marriage and family is because you aren't getting sexually active with them, at least on a low level.



I hate to say this but guys do get frustrated. If you have a guy who's already frustrated and he thinks you're leading him on ... well he's going to get nuts.



Try finding guys in your age group who have been married and divorced or are more even keeled.



Whatever it is, they see you and expect something and you are disappointing them. You may say you don't want a family life (as you already have that with a child), and therefore you want friendship without romance.



I would also say stay away from discussing sex-related topics. This could be triggering all sorts of issues.

Answer 3

Not all men are like this. Exactly where are you meeting such men? What you described sounds like the typical man who hangs out in AOL chat rooms. Are you meeting men in AOL chat rooms? Or other chat rooms somewhere on the internet? You are most likely NOT going to find a safe, normal, decent man you can actually trust, in places like that. Lots of them are secretly married, too. Don't trust them, don't let them know any real-time or personal information about you, and do a background check on them like at a case lookup site. Anybody who has nothing to hide will not object to a background check done on him. And be especially careful since you have a child. The internet is a haven for socially inept whackos, perverts, and psychopaths who can't find any woman who will put up with them and their ways for long, or they have a history of flaking on and abusing their past girlfriends. Guard your money too. And lots of them are looking for better places to live, so if you have a dwelling of your own, they'll eye it over, hoping you'll let them move in.

Answer 4

As many here have pointed out, maybe you need to see what your part in this is. Are you sending mixed messages? Most guys don't start talking about marriage and kids within 2 weeks of meeting a new woman.

Answer 5

Where are you meeting these guys? I would say most guys are the opposite to that and are more afraid of commitment if anything else. There are exceptions of course like you've experienced, but just keep an open mind. Mr right is out there some place for ya.

Answer 6

oh girl!!! i understand what you mean!!! i am a 30 yr old divorced single momma as well and let me tell you that i think that just because you are single and w/ a child you want to settle or you need a man in your life!!!!! i have met nothing but guys w/no kids and within the month or so they love you and want to get married and have kids.... its like this is our second time around so of course we are more cautious but they are just coming back from where we have already been so they just dont know.... will they ever?? who knows!!! enjoy being single girl and if he gets that bad change your # and call the police if you see him roaming around. who knows the officer that answers your call may be cute :) ...... lol good luck!! oh ya buy some pepper spray! i dont leave home without it!!!!

Answer 7

Perhaps you should look within and see why you keep dating the same type of man. I think you like being the one who does the rejecting.



Look at it as a scientific experiment. The only constant element in these formula is you.

Answer 8

Hello I love Lucy...WOW! They sound quite disturbed...many guys after 30 are in a rush to settle down, have kids, marriage...as long as you tell them up front that you DON'T want that at this time...they SHOULD respect your wishes...I would be willing to chat with you and see if we could be friends...if you would like to. [e-mail].

Answer 9

It is that age time clock ticking that makes them so. Also, by talking about marriage, maybe they are talking about a test drive on the old mattress trail too!



Good luck, be patient, love awaits.

Answer 10

It sounds like you are a "freak magnet" lol. In all seriousness it probably has a lot to do with who you choose to date. There are often warning signs about these types of men that you may be missing. Here are some tips to avoid the "freaks".



http://www.homehighlight.org/home-and-family/relationships/how-to-avoid-an-obsessive-or-abusive-relationship.html

http://www.recovery-man.com/loveaddict.htm

http://www.ronitbaras.com/index.php/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/how-to-avoid-abusive-relationships/

http://www.drirene.com/control.htm



How to deal with the exs

http://www.relationshipexpert.co.uk/dealing-with-obsessive-ex-partners.html

Answer 11

Sounds like you're a freak magnet. Try to meet men in different places, it really doesn't seem like you're surrounding yourself with the right kind of men.

Answer 12

guys grow to hate that whihc they lust after.



slow down the pace -



date for a year or more



get used to talking - teach them how to communicate with their minds and not their d*cks.



find a suport group of other divorced women.

Answer 13

dont pic up guys from bars lol.. j/k maybe you should try to be up front. tell them your just look for someone to talk to. not to **** or a daddy for your kid. if they dont like that move on to the next...

Answer 14

If this has happened to you more than once, then you are selecting the wrong type of people to go out with. Change your criteria for selection.

Answer 15

you're picking the "wrong lil boys"! lol

you will find a man who has other interests than

a "marriage"!

most of us are terrified at the idea!

Answer 16

The last one

Answer 17

Well, were guys, so were naturally nutz.

Just bear with it, or find someone else. There are plenty of Good guys out there, so don't feel glum.

Answer 18

It sounds like you have a flair for attracting a certain kind of guy.



Most men are "not" like that.

Answer 19

after your late twenties,everything left is damaged goods.Remember,SOMEBODY already discarded them as TRASH already

Answer 20

ill bet it does. whatever strokes your ego.

Answer 21

They're men, that's why.