Humiliated?

Question

My husband of two years never got me a wedding ring. The other day he bought me a 50.00 fakey. I'm too embarressed to wear it. Is he so clueless, or trying to hurt me? This the same day I bought him a 400.00 one at 70 percent off.

Answer 1

Why did you wait 2 years to get him one?

Answer 2

Okay,

I know a wedding ring should symbolize how much he loves you and you are looking at it as a token of how much he loves you but don't look at it this way. I think your husband is not so much cheap as he is frugal and you have known this about him since before you married him. In this case if I were you I wouldn't fight fire with fire because the only problem you mention is that he is cheap, you can turn that around. He probably thought he got a really good deal and thinks that he did something good-you are right he may be clueless but you have something good it just needs a little work....you never mentioned him cheating on you or hurting you or neglecting to take care of you so consider yourself lucky because a lot of women would love to have your problem. I say continue on with what you normally do on valentines day, don't ruin a beautiful day because you want to get even. Show him a wonderful time, hell- go all out for him and maybe you can show him by example how you would like to be treated when it comes to spending money. Everyone has faults and you just have a little work to do, so I say go all out on Valentine's day and then maybe the day after you can have a little chat with him about his spending habbits-don't turn this into a bad situation- handle it with class and dignity and you will see that the old saying is true "You can kill more bee's with honey-than you can with vinegar".

Continue to be the sweet person he married and then once you have the opportuniy to talk with him about it I guarantee you will he loosen the wallet strings just a little.

Good luck :)

Answer 3

Maybe it was all he could get for the moment. Im sure he didnt mean it in a nasty way. Respect him and be so nice. If it was a joke he will feel like a true heel! Kindness heaps coals on the head of those who try to hurt one!

Maybe he is merely giving you a fakey to later on replace with the real thing. How do you know the real thing wont come on valentines day????? DOnt assume, it makes a fool out of him and you. Just be positive and dont run with emotion. Emotions will only cause trouble.

Answer 4

Don't get him nothing for Valentines day. YOu do love him and to get him nothing for Valentines Day would just not be right. Bottom line is a wedding ring is an important purchase and it should not be taken lightly. You should discuss the issue with him and go pick one out that you like that is in your budget.

Answer 5

I think your husband is just clueless that you care about that. I mean, you did wait 2 years so maybe he thinks it doesn't matter that much to you. My Mom has been married for almost 8 years and she still doesn't have a wedding ring. But, she doesn't care about it. You could easily show him a nice ring that you would like and tell him how nice you think it is and maybe he will get the hint (that is what I did to get my dream ring).

Answer 6

Ok when you say ring do you mean a wedding band or a diamond? Honestly wedding bands, even the nice ones can be bought for very cheap anymore, the markup at retailers is ridiculous. Now a diamond ring or wedding set can be costly. Honestly if you are in love with this man what do you care? It is just a ring. My step mom and my dad don't have rings and they have a great marriage.

If you don't feel like getting him a gift for Valentines then don't.

Answer 7

I know this is a difficult problem, and you might not like my answer. I don't understand why your husband bought a cheap ring, but he probably has a good reason. For some reason guys don't seem to think that women will notice when they get you all something fake or cheap. Besides that point, you should probably talk to him, ask him why he bought the ring, and if he has a good answer then let it go. You don't have to have expensive jewelry to know somebody loves you. Good luck and God bless!

Answer 8

Give him the ring back and tell him to try again. Tell him you are worth more than a $50 ring.



Try not to take it personally. If he really IS clueless, you'll have to clue him in. Excercise some patience with him.



If you want this marriage to work out it sounds like you'll need a lot of patience.

Answer 9

Let him know how you feel, it could be that he isn't aware? Though i see that as less likely, I think that men are always aware, but tell him anyway and see how he reacts to it, explain to him how much you value him and your marriage, and that he needs to step up his level to atleast where he matches with you. And as far as valentines, no don't give anything, you can purchase, but wait and see where his heart is at first,a and what he brings to the table to show that he cares about you.

Answer 10

I see that I'm the only person saying this but....what about the meaning behind it? Does the price really matter? My wife had never had a diamond before and I desperately wanted her to have a beautiful ring, but all I could afford was one from Walmart. She says she loves it for what it represents. Maybe it's all he could afford? The size and the price shouldn't matter, it should be the love and commitment to each other that it stands for.

Answer 11

I dont feel money should be the issue here. You 2 arent buying eachothers love.

Ive been married 22 yrs and there have been times we couldnt get eachother a gift.

What you give of yourself..your heart is what matters.

FORGET THE MONITARY VALUE...that wont buy you happiness.

Answer 12

Did you marry him for love or money or material things .Just because you spent a lot of money ,does that mean every one else has to spend the same on you .You wont like this but I think your being a little selfish .( but also watch ur butt something could be a brew-n) good luck

Answer 13

He's probably just clueless. How do you know its only worth 50 (don't know currency your using?)



Are there other problems in your marriage? These (or there absence) are more important than the size or value of the ring. If you can't discuss your question with him, that is a problem in itself.

Answer 14

Tell him it's fake and you don't want to wear it. I wouldn't want to wear it either. You're married and should be honest with each other right. If you don't tell him he'll think you liked it....You don't want to get another fakey for valentines too, do you?!

Answer 15

Talk to him! I'm sure he didn't want to hurt you in anyway, he might have thought he was getting a good deal. Men are not extravagant. If you want something else, just tell him. How is he going to know, tell him you don't want to hurt his feelings but it's not exactly what you wanted. Take it back and get something else.

Answer 16

Sounds like he's clueless and cheap!! Only you know if he's the kind of man to try to hurt you this way. Most men wouldn't even think of hurting their wives this way. So I really doubt it's to hurt you. Maybe you should give him a clue. Tell him you thought you were worth more than a $50.00 fake to him. Maybe he'll try to make amends.

Answer 17

I dont know you or how your relationship is going but is it not the thought that counts? Maybe he realised he should have got you one before, does it matter that it only cost 50?

Answer 18

Talk to your husband, and tell him how you feel. He may be clueless as to how important, the real thing, is to you.

Answer 19

Be honest with him and ask him to help you pick out one you like and save the dime store ring for your daughter to play with someday.

Answer 20

For Valentine's day buy yourself a nice ring. You deserve to get a nice one and it will make you happy.



As for him, he's just a man and doesn't understand how important these things are.

Answer 21

Then I feel bad for him, he is with a materialistic woman. Do yourself a favor and let him go and go find someone who will show his love givin you stuff...

Answer 22

Is he always so cheap about stuff? Does he spend money on himself or is he one of those people who takes their lunch to work everyday? Sounds like you should have went together and discussed what you were buying.

Answer 23

He doesn't have a clue. So without being cruel, let him know your expectations and give him period of time to raise the money and get a nice one for you.



Good luck..

Answer 24

Clueless or very cheap. Don't think that buying him the 400 dollar one would change that.

Answer 25

we got our rings free from a pack of candies

Answer 26

GO BUY YOURSELF ONE. THAT WAY, YOU GET THE ONE YOU WANT.

Answer 27

i wouldn't either unless he doesn't make that much money at his job

Answer 28

buy yourself one.

Answer 29

Is he unemployed? Only $50 freakin' dollars? Tell me about your engagement ring please? Don't tell me it's a nightmare too???

Answer 30

that would be the best thing you could do

Answer 31

I would get him nothing if I were you. What a cheapo!