This is something that seems to pop up over and over, so you know your not alone. Your going to have to talk to her again. Maybe she has a low sex drive. Some people just aren't that into sex. Dr. Phil says if you aren't having sex 1-3 times a week, something is wrong in the marriage (relationship).
Communication is key here. You probably shouldn't have turned her down. After all, she came to you (which is what it looks like you wanted) and hinted that she was actually ready. What do you think is going to happen the next time she wants to? You think she is going to tell you? Sounds like there is a lot of game playing, maybe some of not intentional. Now, you have rejected her.
This could possibly not be her fault. Ok, grimy stuff here... Does she have orgasms? Does she enjoy sex? Have you asked her if she enjoys it, what is her favorite thing (s)? Do you 2 spend time with each other doing stuff together outside the bedroom? The these are important to women. Do you talk to her, actually listen to what she's saying? When was the last time you surprised her with something small like new earrings or dinner? See, these things are foreplay to a woman.
Sex my friend, begins way before the bedroom. Way before. It has to do with how you treat one another. Sometimes sex is just taking out stress for each other (that's when one person doesn't feel like doing it, doesn't care if they have an orgasm, but being close to their significant other is important & meeting their needs). Sometimes you make love, other times, well... I'm sure you get it.
Many partners have different sex drives. In fact, lots of partnerships deal with this very thing. One wants sex more often than the other, and believe it or not, sometimes its women who want it 2-3 times a week & their man doesn't.
Y'all have got to talk about this. I don't always want sex either, but because it is a very important aspect of the marital relationship, I have to put myself aside, and be the partner my hubby needs. God, I wish married people would quit saying no to each other. That's one of the perks to being married. But you have to listen to each other, you have to understand what is going on in the other persons life. Does she feel alone raising the kids, doing all the chores, being home most of the time while your out working out? What does she do all day long? And does she feel like your asking for more sex is just one more obligation she has to meet? How does she view sex? How do you view your relationship?
Women sometimes have a hard time figuring out what a man in the relationship wants. Role playing? Just a rush deal tonight? Do you take the time to make the sex just as much about her as you getting yours? Maybe you 2 should try couples sex therapy. Discuss fantasies. Maybe get special lingerie, and when you want the hellcat, have that outfit ready for her, when you want the slow have the romantic attire ready. So many things could be done. Talk to somebody about this, together, you need to be together.
This is a woman point of view here. When you don't help out around the house, when you don't remember to do nice things for us too, when you are in a marriage where romance is not appreciated, when he doesn't buy you lingerie, when he never thinks to pick stuff for you that reminds you he was thinking about you, when he doesn't help you feel special, appreciated, loved, adored, honored, why on earth would we want to give gods most precious gift of our bodies? We are not fulfilled, you are not fulfilled. Pick her some flowers (that's free) do things she has suggested that she would like, talk openly about sex, and your right don't pressure her.
I used to never say no to my hubby. Now, I try to put it off. I'll say things like how about tomorrow? Its all because I've worked hard to fulfill his needs, and do things to help him feel loved, cared about, special, number one, but it doesn't get returned. And you know what? Things like that affect the bedroom big time. She doesn't feel number one for you, why should your needs be number one on her list?
Just some thoughts, not trying to be mean, but for women, its almost always more emotional that is just being broken. Your going to have to touch her mind, her heart if you want to touch her naked body. You want her to be available, then guess what? You gotta be available emotionally for her. Open the door guy, go apologize for rejecting her, and find out what is making your wife tick, ask her what she wants from you. And you both win.