my boyfriend hasn't helped with any bills?

Question

we have been together nearly 2 years and been living together in my house since january .he also has his own house that he rents out ( mortage paid) i have 2 children not his. we sat down and worked out what he would give me each month for bills excluding the mortage but still havent got anything from him.i did have savings but they are going down with paying for all the bills plus the childrens stuff and all the extras that come with being a couple. i am on a little more money than him but do you think i should still approch this subject and well how to do it.

Answer 1

If he's living there, he should be paying bills. He obviously has income since he rents out his home, so there is no excuse for him not to help out. I am having a similar situation with my boyfriend and am giving him an ultimatum. He either has to step up and be responsible, or get out. Even if he makes less money than you and cannot contribute as much, he should still give something.



Sit him down and calmly explain that this situation is stressing you out. Tell him that you feel this isn't fair to you. Since he makes less money, suggest that he pay the smaller bills. If he refuses to cooperate, then it's time to re-evaluate the relationship. No one deserves to be with a selfish person. Good luck!

Answer 2

Does he have a job? I hope your boyfriend isn't just using you for another place to stay, because that is what it sounds like. You should tell him that it isn't fair that he gets to stay there rent-free while you're paying for yourself, your kids and him! If he was really a man, he would go out and make some money so he can help support the household. Do not let this guy take advantage of you like that. If he comes up with some sort of excuse as to why he cannot help out with the bills, then I say don't let him live there with you anymore. You've got to think about your own financial safety as well as your children's, because it sure doesn't sound like this guy gives two cents about either. Good luck.

Answer 3

If you guys had reached an agreement, he must follow through. That is a broken promise. He may have gotten too comfortable with you taking care of him. But if he is working, you have an agreement of what he is to pay, then push for that. You will need to talk with him. It could go on the lines of reminding him of the agreement and that you are feeling a little run over and hurt. Tell him you care for him, but if isn't willing to step up to the agreed responsibility, maybe it is time for him to find another place to live where he has to pay his own way. This would not be a break-up but it would be a step back in the relationship to the "dating" stage. If he doesn't realize how important pooling your money and bills together, then he doesn't feel the relationship is important enough for true commitment.

Answer 4

I would sit him down and explain that you need some help in making the bills. He knows he should be paying you and as long as you dont say anything he is going to continue to pay nothing. Start the conversation by..." I need to talk to you about something that crossed my mind today" " As your aware you and I sat down and worked out an amount that you would be contributing each month........I am having a really difficult time making ends meet on my salary alone and need for you to live up to our agreement." If he gets mad then send him packing because he is just looking for a free ride.

Answer 5

Boyfriends are not obligated to do anything if he is sponging off of you kick him to the curb. If you were married then he might have some legal obligation, but having a husband does not actually mean that he will provide for you either. Tell him if he is living in the house he has to help with expenses otherwise you can not afford to take care of the children and him too. Tell him to put out or ship out.

Answer 6

If his things are in the house and he sleeps there every night then yes he should pay you something but don't make a big deal about it because you are not married yet. tell him you have bills and you need his help. if he doesn't pay you then it's clear the man is a freeloader and his intentions are to take you from the top to the bottom and he will Take your kids there to. A good time to be wise is now!

Answer 7

If you sat down and figured out what he should be giving you and he hasn't given you anything.-then you really need to talk to him. It is a hard subject to bring up but if you are using up all of your money then there's a problem. He sounds like a taker and will stay like this until you call him out on it. He will do it for as long as he can get away with it. I bet he never offers you money for food or anything else. And I bet he is saving his money for a rainy day. Please open your eyes - you have children to take care of.

Answer 8

What is "all the extras that come with being a couple"?

He is your boyfriend, but you should be living within your means so you don't become dependent on him.



I've noticed that women in general spend more money when they are in a couple and seem to think that their partners income is just additional disposable cash to them. In all truth your boyfriend earned that money and its up to him decide to how to spend it or save it.



I would figure out what your boyfriend is actually responsible for and tell him flat out that he needs to pull him weight by contributing X. However, if I were your boyfriend I would want to know what X covers and how you figured out that number.

Answer 9

Scare him, tell him im going to could desire to discover yet another place to stay as i cant have sufficient funds to pay the fees on my own so ive have been given no decision... he will probable react and say ill help out after which you purely could desire to describe that 'seem, if i dont pay those expenditures ill have a unfavorable credit rankings with the agencies and that i dont want that, so help me, if no longer i could desire to usher in a lodger and so on' i understand that could sound a lil dramatic yet hi it may paintings!

Answer 10

He is taking advantage of you and he knows it. You shouldn't feel bad about saying something to him about it. If he would move out instead of helping you pay the bills, you'd be better off! If he cares about you like he should he would want to help pay his share. You just go to him and tell him straight up he has not been contributing all these months and he needs to start or he's out of there.

Answer 11

Are you his keeper? Of course he should help you pay for the bills, at least 1/3 of them if not 1/2 of the cost of the mortgage, electric, phone, cable etc.. Whatever he uses, basically. It's not fair that you are supporting him. He doesn't have to pay for anything to do with the kids but he should pay for himself. Not doing so is called being a freeloader.

Answer 12

Living together for six months in YOUR home with 2 kids and not married and you want to know y he's not paying rent or utilities?



Take the rose-colored glasses off.

Answer 13

You let a mooch move in with you, face it he had no intentions of paying his share. He's been living off of you rent free for 6 months and you haven't told him to hit the road yet? That is the FIRST thing I would have done in February.

Answer 14

I would let him know if he can't afford to pitch in then he needs to move out. This is only a preview of what he would be like if you married him. He doesn't need to support your kids though since they are not his he has no legal responsibility, but you would think that any descent guy that has any intentions would want to pitch in for the kids too. You need to think hard and long if this is the type of man you want to be around.

Answer 15

I think that you need to tell NOT ask him to pay his part. He can't expect you to pay all the bills and take care of your children. Regardless of how much more you are making that doesn't give him the right to not pay anything. You should tell him that you need a little help and hopefully he will understand, if not tell him to leave (its not like you need him, he's not helping you out anyways) Good Luck!!

Answer 16

I am not sure why is this in the marriage section because you are not in any legal institution, which directs to my point : he doesn't see any obligation because he is JUST a boyfriend. And we all know, if you are not in some sort of legal partnership or marriage, he has no obligations LEGALLY for you. Please think about what others have said, but for me , I think marriage is what will give him some responsibilities to think of. But at the moment, if this persists,even after you have already talked to him? I am sorry he is not gonna change at all.

Answer 17

You must approach him about the fact that he has not lived up to your agreement. Maybe he is waiting for you to ask and thinks you will ask if you really need it. You don't know what's going on with him unless you have a heart-to-heart. you have let this go way too long. address it now or you might end up losing the relationship.

Answer 18

Tell him, that if he is going to live there and share in all the daily routines, and eat food, shower, etc. He better help out, otherwise you will find someone who will. The be prepaired to follow through. Sounds like he is a deadbeat.

Answer 19

Well pay up or go. Money isn't everything but you have two children to support and you got a man that's not helping.



Now think about it, you get a companion so things are easier not harder. You have two children that you have to support and a third that you don't have to support.



If he isn't thinking of you and your children then you have to.

Answer 20

if you are living together you are equal partners, regardless of who makes more money. He needs to pay his share or he has to leave. Too many men use women as meal tickets. Do yourself a favor stand up for yourself and don't be his meal ticket.

Answer 21

Have you heard of lazy moocher? That is him. Give him 1 week to come up with the money that he agreed to pay or kick him out. It's a no brainer.

Answer 22

of course you should. He's living in there, right? So tell him. You don't want him just sitting around while u cook and clean and pay the bills.

Answer 23

YES, you definitely need to approach the subject! He jolly well should be paying his share. He may be a gigolo in training, and you need to know that now. Unless you don't mind counting him as a third child, that is.

Answer 24

You have already proved that you are self-sufficient and you do not need anyone slowing you down or being a hinderance towards you sustaining normal life.

Answer 25

Your question has nothing to do with marriage & divorce. He hasn't helped with the bills because he's a selfish moocher.

Answer 26

It sounds like to me He is abusing you, and using you. 2 years of His abuse should of already opened your eyes to the fact He is a user..Find someone who truly loves you , And would want to help you, Loser get rid of Him...And get a real man and not a Boy.....

Answer 27

Heck yeah. He can't stay there for free. That is ridiculous. He needs to give you some money or leave. You need to think of your kids first.

Answer 28

yes/ just /sit down /at the table/ with him/ and/ remind him/ of /the agreement/ about/ his share/ of the bills/ hopefully/ he /is not /a gold digger/ if /he chooses /not /to make good /on the agreement/ just /go back /to/ living without him/ it/ may be hard /but /you /were doing /it before / i /did not /say /break off/ with him /just/ don't/ live with him

Answer 29

well, if you read all these answers everyone agrees on him helping you, you can be paying all the bills by your self, thats totally unfair, you must ask him for the money

Answer 30

And the reason he's still in your life is . . . what? And you still, in your description of him, use the term "friend". You say, "I need you to live up to the agreement, shoulder your responsibilities or move on. Friday by noon will be when you need to come up with what you owe me."

Answer 31

Its time to get me as your boyfriend .I am dilligent on paying bills and taking care of my woman .

It sounds like he is still a little boy and you are his mommy .

Answer 32

Definitely say something. I mean that was the agreement right and he's obviously not following through.

Answer 33

Yes you should say something. He isnt being a "MAN" and helping you with the bills.

Answer 34

he should give u money without your having to ask for it, no one lives anywhere rent free. u need to confront him about it, nicely of course, he should know he is being a freeloader without your having to mention it.

Answer 35

If he lives with you.. hes pays bills Period.

Answer 36

Just tell him that he gotta help or get out. You have your kids to take care of, you don't need a 3rd one.

Answer 37

He shouldn't have to, you are shacking up and should be happy with just having him there - it's what you wanted, right? Just for that warm body in your bed?

Answer 38

IF HE LIVES WITH YOU HE SHOULD PAY BILLS. 1ST TALK TO HIM AND IF HE IMPROVES THEN THERE ISNT A PROBLEM BUT IF HE DOESNT THEN KICK HIM TO THE CURB

Answer 39

sit down and talk to him and then in calm way tell him that his help is need

Answer 40

Yes- Don't let him get a free ride.

Answer 41

he is with u so he should help u out...

Answer 42

get rid of him.