Women's Fantasies. Do women fantasize of someone else while with your bf or husband?

Question

Do most women fantasize about other men when having sex with their husband or boyfriend? Sometimes, I look at my girlfriend and have an instinct that she is fantasizing about having sex with someone else because her eyes are closed. Years ago, she would look me in the eye. Not as much nowadays.

The reason for my suspicions is that she told me her deep fantasies of having steamy sex with a stranger or being a hooker. I would never let that happen in reality of coarse. But her naughty talk made things steamy in the bedroom and I entertained her talk for a few months. After a while, I got a bit jealous and told her I didn't want to hear it again. Now I've noticed she closes her eyes a little more so I think she is thinking of those fantasies. Should I be jealous?

To be honest, I'm still turned on by her naughtyness to a certain degree but I don't want to encourage it so much that she acts on it.
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Any thoughts? Insight?

Answer 1

I don't have fantasies about other men but if a couple do and role play between themselves then I think that is ok.

Answer 2

Dont read too into this. Women have been told to be "proper" for so long that they have fantasies about taboo subjects. She knows being a hooker or sex w a stranger is bad and would never do it. But it is ok to fantasize about it. I would be happy if my girl was like this. You can bring your sex to a whole new level. Try doing some role playing w her. Talk to her about it an ask if she owuld like to role play the fantasy. When you are out shopping, have her stand by the mall exit while you get the car. When you pick her up, say, "im looking for a good time, how much?" right away you are helping her fulfill a fantasy. Stay in your roles the whole time. While having sex w your "hooker" you and her can be more open because you are a "john" and she is a "hooker" have some fun with this and be glad your girl was open to tell you this stuff. Being she told you means she loves and trusts you. Dont make her crawl into a shell!

Answer 3

Wow. You guys need to talk. I would get a little jealous too but tell her that you want to fulfill her fantasy one time. Agree to meet up at a local club "not a sleazy bar" because that could be dangerous. You guys have to give each other a hint as what you will be dressed up as so you will know which table or bar stool to approach. You could dress up as a "hot" Texan cowboy with tight wrangler jeans, new boots and a cowboy hat. She should be dressed up as well. And take it from there. If, after all is said and done and you aren't comfortable with it, she must promise to let it go. I close my eyes during sex because it adds a touch of mystery to the love making. I don't think of someone else while making love but I sometimes fantasize about a hunk that I have seen but I would never act on it. Good luck!..

Answer 4

There is nothing wrong with fantasizing as long as the communication remains open. It is in fact good for keeping the creative juices flowing in a relationship, IMHO. It also helps to have an open mind, which it sounds like you have. Also, as long as neither one gets jealous of the other one looking and fantasizing (or however you set your limits) everything will be fine. My subs and I both fantasize about it and act on it (them with my permission). I have an open marriage and live an alternative lifestyle with two bisexual women, so this hardly seems as private a question with me as it does to mainstream America. Have fun and remember: Communicate, don't take it personally, trust, be faithful, never stop getting creative and stay within your bounds and you will have a long happy relationship. There are too many couples that leave one or more of these out and that leads to the demise of their relationship.

Answer 5

Maybe she's a little put off by the fact that you got jealous over a fantasy and told her you didn't want to hear her dirty talk anymore...Ya need to apologize and let her know how you really feel about the dirty talk. Chill out about being jealous over a fantasy. Its just as fantasy. Don't you have any?

Answer 6

When you start fantasing about another person it is because the person is feeling unfulfilled in some part of your relationship. That is outside the bed. You have the equipment for in the bed but don't have the tools for outside the bed and you leave a big hole in your relationship that she is trying to fix. To be honest with you, you both have issues that have brought you to this point and the sex is good because it helps you forget those issues, for that little period of time. But the issues continue to haunt you both.

Answer 7

I sometimes fantasize about other men during sex. I dont think there is anything wrong with fantasizing as long as you dont act on it. A fantasy is a fantasy.

Answer 8

I can't think of anything more insulting to the relationship and love I have with my boyfriend than thinking of someone else. If that is what I needed to think of to get turned on then I think there wouldn't be any point to being in the relationship. Because all I need is my boyfriend and nothing more.

Answer 9

She probably is fantasizing about something. I wouldn't be jealous though...most women do this.

Answer 10

Dude do you really want to know if she is? You can't tell me you have never thought of another women while in bed with your lady? Who cares your the one getting it.

Answer 11

i dont, i wouldnt be with my husband if that started happening, womens minds dont work the same as mens so it isnt that easy for us to fantasize

Answer 12

1.Show interest, and show her that you would like to get to know her and you were happy to meet her or talk to her.

2.Always look into her eyes when speaking to her. That subtly will make her see that you are really taking an interest. Just be careful not to get lost in her eyes when she's talking, otherwise the only thing you'll have to respond with is "Wow, you've got pretty eyes." (see the first point).

3.Be sensitive and caring. Let her cry on your shoulder if she's sad. Make her smile when she's feeling crummy. However remember that she wants a man in her life so don't be supplicating.

4.Lead. She wants to be the wooed and not do the wooing so be the first to initiate touch (non-sexual and sexual). Be the one that comes in for the kiss. NEVER ask for ideas for what to do on the date, make plans and a back-up. If she knows of something better she will tell you.

5.Whisper in her ear. girls love this.

6.If you have little siblings, nieces, or nephews, show her that you really care for them. Play with them, watch over and protect them, show the girl that they look up to you.

7.For Valentine's Day (if you celebrate it) be sweet or thoughtful instead of showy and clichéd. A dozen red roses may be the traditional romantic gift, but most girls will be better pleased with a few of their favourite flowers tied with a red, pink, or white ribbon. Actually remembering a girl's favourites will endear you to her more than any elaborate scheme. If it's early in the relationship, though, and you don't know her favourites yet, a teddy bear (or other stuffed animal) is a perfectly fine fallback gift. Do something original to you.

8.Pick up lines are OK as long as they aren't obnoxious (meaning avoid the vast majority) or overtly sexual to someone you don't know.

9.Make her laugh. Girls love guys with a great sense of humour. That doesn't mean you should never take anything seriously, or else you'll come off as a clown.

10.Learn to dance and learn dance etiquette. Take some ballroom classes to build your confidence, so you learn to lead a girl through a song. Girls love guys that can dance.

11.Take the first step, if you're going to take her in your arms and sweep her off her feet on the first date, you're about as oblivious as a fish. Girls like the fact that they're being wooed so it doesn't help if you're that 'what's his face' at the corner thinking if you should make a move. Those dreamy eye to eye across the room crap belong in movies. If you're going to ever win the prize, you've got to tell the prize you want it.

12.Break the ice. This is one of most seemingly dicey things to do, but once you have done this, holding a conversation and laughing will be easy, and you will begin to share a good rapport. a good laugh is always a smart way to break the ice. for eg - you would show this webpage to her, and have a laugh over what is written and the whole idea of having such a page as well.

13.Learn to be spontaneous. Taking an improv acting class can help with ideas for breaking the ice, and can help you be confident with talking to new people. Ideas flow, and it becomes easier to enter into and disengage from conversation, and can help you be more comfortable with any situation.

14.Get close with the girl's family. Knowing that she has her family's approval makes her more comfortable, and knowing that you are a likable person is another plus.





[edit] Tips•Keep it cool, because even if a girl doesn't like you now, chances are that if you play your cards right you'll eventually spark an interest.

•Wear Axe or Tag body spray if you're in your teenage years, but be warned, it can also repulse her. Think before you decide to put it on.

•Don't stalk girls. They will start to avoid you. However, dropping cute text messages every now and then is okay.

•Remember, girls are totally unpredictable. Some will be sure to act like they DON'T like you at first, because they're afraid of giving you that idea and in turn giving you a big ego and/or making things awkward between you two. She will ONLY respond with genuine interest when she is sure you have an interest in her.

•Girls like guys who are sweet and sensitive. Be nice to all her friends and you'll then become more approachable.

•Don't confuse her and send mixed signals. Ex: one day you're teasing her, the next you're admiring her..she will get confused and flustered and may give up on you.

•Girls don't like nasty breath. Eat mints regularly and brush teeth often.

•Don't just act natural - be natural. If your girl has a brain, she'll be able to detect that you're trying too hard, or striving to be something you're not.

•Nothing is sexier than confidence. However, nothing is as unattractive as arrogance, or more annoying than a needy lack of self-esteem. Try with everything you have to find the drawing medium which is confidence.

•Play a sports team, and be friends with a lot of people. She won't feel so intimidated if she knows yo

Answer 13

Why should we care...............we're still getting ours......right?