My ex of 6 years has Chrons disease and may not live another year. Is it ok to touch base when I am engaged?

Question

My fiance doesnt want me speaking to him or even ABOUT him. I originally told him I wouldnt but he was sicker than I thought and may not be alive in a year. His friend messaged me and my fiance saw it and was upset because he saw I still touch base occasionally with my ex to see how he is. My ex has two kids whom I was practically a step mother to for 6 years from when they were 2 and 3 to 8 and 9. It's not like it's just a guy I dated for a few weeks. Anyway, I have no feelings for my ex at all but I would talk to a stranger if they needed someone to talk to. I'm just that kind of person. My fiance told me if I continue touching base with him or even talkin to his friend about him, he will end our relationship. I am thinking why is it that I cant? I mentioned that I havent even seen him in years and it aint inappropriate at all. Keep in mind he has a son so he is always in contact with his ex he shares a kid with. [Although that is a little different.] I just think that I will be upset with myself if I wasnt there for him to message when needed. Like I would feel guilty when he dies because I wasnt there to help him through the bad times. All he wants is someone to talk to about him being sick. Is that such a harsh thing??

Answer 1

your fiance sounds like a dick to me. why are you with him?

Answer 2

It seems like your fiance is a bit controlling and unreasonable. You need to do what you feel is right since you are the one that is going to have to live with the consequences. If your fiance can't trust you then there really is no future in this relationship anyway.

Answer 3

ok well if you have no feelings for him tell your fiance that you dont have feelings for this guy and hes sick and aing goin to live much longer...he shouldnt get mad for checkin in wit the poor guy...i mean hes diein it aint like your goin 2 do any last min things wit him...just sit down wit him and plus he should understand ask him if he was ur ex wouldnt he want 2 talk 2 u befor he dies?

Answer 4

You need to have a serious talk with your fiance about this. If he cannot accept it, then maybe you need to re-think marrying him. I don't see what there is to be jealous of, but its obvious your fiance' has some trust problems with you.

Answer 5

Contact him.



It is ok to be friendly to him and let him know that you still care. I guarantee he is thinking about you wondering if you care. Just because you divorce it doesn't mean neither of you have to care anymore.

Answer 6

forget him. he's your x for a reason and it's time you moved on. his being sick isn't your problem any more. it's not your responsibility to be there for him. you have no responsibilities to him at all anymore, sick or well. you have your own life to live and your x shouldn't be any part of it. you have your new relationship and your future to think of now instead. you need to erase your x from your thoughts, cut all contact with him and finally get on with your life.

Answer 7

Your husband is bluffing. He's just trying to threaten you. You should be able to have friends.