DIVORCE: Stay for kids sake or Get Out for self-sake?

Question

I posted earlier about my hub cheating on me after 9 yrs of marriage, coming home and confessing, then "sugar coating" it with a "questionable" story about the possibility of being slipped a rape drug, I think he is trying to make himself feel better and trying to make me "feel sorry" for him! We had some heavy problems a year ago, I about called it quits then,But I decided we would get some counseling, sought spiritual guidance and put my all into it and this happens. Would I be stupid for sacrificing my self worth & values to keep our home and my (3 Little) kids dad here? I dont want to see my kids world turned "up-side down"!!!...The house would have to be sold, and I would have to rent...But I just dont know if I can ever get over this & forgive him for cheating without bringing it up when we argue. He has definatley killed some love I had for him, But I think I could "Co-exist" and try to "bite my toungue"and keep the peace for my kids sake, or would I be totally miserable and end up hurting them and myself worse? WHAT A WAY TO KICK OFF THE NEW YEAR!!! :o(

Answer 1

Get divorced for the kids sake. Don't let them live in a household that the parents can't stand each other.

Answer 2

I think you need better advice than you would get here. Maybe counseling for yourself & kids. But in general, I think children always sense when things are not right. You've already said you had problems before and that you don't know if you can get over this. You say your kids are very young, so that means you would be 'co-existing' for 15 or so years? What if you make this 'sacrifice' and a few years down the road he ends up leaving?



If you & your husband are not happy, leaving doesn't mean you're being selfish and staying isn't always best for kids. It's their father that messed up the marriage and their home life. You wouldn't be taking away their father from them. If you live in the same town, share custody, there could be a reasonable solution, but all that would take a lot of mediation. Think about it this way, if you have a daughter, do you want her growing up thinking that a man can cheat on her and she just stays for appearance's sake, knowing she is suffering on the inside? And if you have sons, do you want them to grow up thinking it's okay to cheat on your wife because, their mom stayed with their dad? Do you think seeing their mom not trust their dad or knowing their dad has outside women, is a benefit to them?



That's just stuff to think on but again, you should get some personal counseling & some for the kids too because they probably are already affected by the problems in the marriage.

Answer 3

To me, it makes no sense to stay in a marriage where one is thinking about a meaningless affair, and needs to pursue his lustful path. Having an 'affair', will not make things better at this point. The children who are 11 and 13 most likely will not go off the edge should the parents separate or divorce. There are are plenty who have come from broken homes, unfortunately, but the love must stay intact for the children. Staying in a relationship for the sake of the children when a parent is thinking about seeking other means of satisfaction is not something which was thought through.

Answer 4

It's never easy to decide. You have a lot of soul searching to do. My advice is to wait and see... you can always leave him this month or next year. Don't rush to anything. Give him the benefit of the doubt. None of us are perfect and maybe you can forgive him. If you decide in your heart that you can't you will have all the time in the world to move on. What I really want you to do is WAIT until you are sure. You are not being beaten, or abused... be patient, and be forgiving.



You should be a little tough on him. Tell him you aren't happywith what he did and you aren't sure if you can forgive him. This is the time he has to make up for his actions. He'd better be super attentive to you and make up for it... IF he regrets it.



All that said, I was in a similar situation. I tried hard for years (20+) to get over a cheating husband and I couldn't. It was in the back of my mind all the time. Ultimately we are better friends now that we are apart and I can move on.



What a way to kick off the New Year is right... but then again, every day is a new start. Good luck... wish I could buy you a coffee... and talk!

Answer 5

To the first answerer - Wow you didn't even read the Question. All she's thinking about IS the children.



My answer:



Clearly your husband is not worth your time. He has cheated on you, and worst of all it seems like he tweaked, or LIED, about how it came about. If he was actually raped, then I'm sure he would have gone to the cops and reported it, that is what a citizen should do, boy or girl.



I think you should kick your husband out and tell him to rethink his story before coming back. As for your kids, tell them that you and dad are having a bit of a fight and need some time apart for awhile. Yes, it's heartbreaking to say that, but I'm sure it will be better than moving out and your kids wondering where Mom went.



Otherwise, marriage counseling may work...though it's doubtful.

Answer 6

I am so sorry for the situation that you are living with in this matter. I am an advocate in a verbal sense for the children more that anything else in any family setting.

With that said, I personally believe that there are 3 times in a marriage when divorce is the right thing to do. Abuse (of any type), Addiction (not just drugs and alcohol), and Adultery. In your case you have the later for sure.

Please don't buy into his story of the so called date rape drug prospect. He still allowed himself to be in a position that kept him in close proximity to another female, and in that respect he was looking for something.

As far as cohabitating with your husband, for the sake of the children having thier father in the same home, it is possible. You need to set ground rules with your husband to ensure that the children are not completely aware of why Mommy and Daddy are not sleeping in the same room any longer. You also need to make sure that neither you nor your husband are ever talking to a perspective "date" or companion in front of each other, and more importantly, never in front of the children.

As far as forgiving him for cheating, you really shouldn't. If he does it once, there is a high probability that he will do it again. Just a fact in life.

You already mention that you are fearful about bringing up the affair "when you argue", and that statement assures that you will hold onto that hurt for a long time. That is your right in life, but if you reflect that in front of the children, they will be hurt. Protect the children above all else! Your love life as well as that of your husbands will need to take deeper back seats in life to show some type of "normalcy". It will not be an easy balancing act for you or for your husband.

You wont hurt the kids more with a "co-existance" situation as long as you and he can and do remain totally civil and respectful to each other as well as the sanctity of the family image that you are trying to show to the children. You will possibly be hurt more, but that will depend on the ability of you and he to act like adults in life.

I wish you the very best outcome in this.

Answer 7

Sorry to hear about your situation. Ya waht a way to start of the new year. Your husband does not know what he has and they dont know what they are missing till its gone. Here is my story. My wife moved out 5 days ago and took the kids and got a new plave with a 6 month lease. Now 4 days after moving in to her new apartment, she called crying and said she made a mistake and wanted to move back in. I did move them back in because i know that people think the grass is greener on the other side but it is not. If you leave him, in time you will find happyness but things could turn out the same. a gamble. You sould just tell him if he is going to cheat, you will just have an open marriage but keep the kids out of it. See how he likes it. My wife also cheated on me 8 years ago and i did not leave her but lost trust. To me marriage should be forever, because marriage is work and its hard to find that kind of marriage these days. You can e mail me if you like at [e-mail]



Dan

Answer 8

I have always believed that you should try to work it out if you have kids- esp little kids. Having said that your situation sounds horrible - I'm so sorry. WTF was he even doing somewhere that he could be slipped a drug? Not that I believe that for a second- I'm just saying it sounds so lame! My personal opinion is that men shouldn't be going out like that without their wives in tow. It's too much temptation.

If you honestly believe he will try then counseling is the way to go, but only if you think you can genuinely live with and love him again. Remember love is a verb. Now ,he has violated your trust and if your relationship will be more of a detriment to your children's lives, and torture to you - I would probably break it off.

I wish you the best of luck. If my husband cheated on me - I honestly don't know what I'd do.

Answer 9

The children are important, there is no doubt. However, be realistic. So they move, and realize their Dad is good Dad, but a not so good husband as they get older. That is called being honest and telling the truth to them. And also displaying a strong confident woman as their mother. Not one to be walked over, and treated so badly. This isn't the first time, you say, you did everything you could to hopefully keep it from happening again by trying to strengthen the marriage. Even with outside help he went and acted a fool again. I am firm believer in the saying "A leopard won't change its spots." This is his doing...and if you just passively let it all slide, he will keep doing this knowing you are a prisoner to the soft side of excusing his error. Sorry, I wouldn't put up w/ it. As your kids get older, they will see for themselves he was a cheater, if he stays or goes, they will know...Do you want them to learn that if they marry a cheater, its okay to NOT put up with that behavior, or do you want them to learn its alright to be taken for granted, and pushed around, and treated with no dignity. There are consequences to actions in life. Its up to you which ones you want to see happen. I wish you and the kids the best. I just hope he doesn't bring home some disease for you first. Take care.

Answer 10

How old are your kids? Do you guys fight? Do your kids realize there is a problem? My Dad and Step Mom have had some problems for a while now and if you ask me, I think they should just split up. They would both be better off and to be honest I would be too. My Mom and Dad split when I was really young and I don't even remember them ever being together, if your kids are young enough (4 or less) they won't remember it ever being any other way than apart. I'm fine with it at 13. Also, my Dad and Step Mom are hurting me more staying together. If your kids are my age, they might have an idea of what's going on, and they might think it would be better off to split...

Answer 11

if the marriage is bad, get out! it will be what is best for your kids in the end, the need a happy mother..the don't need to be brought up in a house of you two fighting and there father cheating. The kids will have a hard time at first but i am sure they will understand when they are older why you two couldn't stay together, i mean you have tried for years to stay with them for the children...and it is not good to have kids see bad relationships like that. my mother went through the same thing. I am so glad my parents devorced otherwise i would of learned nothing but arguing and fighting. It will be hard for the first couple years, you need to do what is best for you..which is the best for your children.

Answer 12

It's true that children can be affected by a parents divorce, but you also need to think about yourself once in awhile. You shouldn't have to stay caged up in a bad relationship with a spouse because you think your children will be upset. Most children will learn why the parents need to split, it will only hurt you more if you stay with him just for your children's sake. It will be better for you and your children, you don't need to stay in a painful relationship. You should talk to your children and clearly state what you and your hub are going through. Your children will get to see there father on weekends or whenever scheduled. You will still be a family, no matter what. It's only painful for the kids to grow up in an enviroment where their parents are constantly fighting and arguing.



It's always better for children to understand that their parents are better off in a happy relationship with someone else, instead of being miserable with fighting, and only staying together for the kids sake. Good luck.

Answer 13

If you husband sugar coated anything instead of coming completely clean and honest you shouldn't be considering subjecting yourself another day to this emotional abuse. Did he get counseling with you? What happens to your kids when their mothers world get turned upside down again? How good of a mommy will you be if you keep going through this? You can't forgive your husband unless he truthfully confess his wrongs, ask for your forgiveness and work hard to restore the marriage. So this isn't something you can do. He must do this.

Answer 14

ok well I answered your other question and this one makes it seem different but no you should never stayed married for your childrens sake. In the long run you will end up doing way more damage to them than if you just leave. Yes divorces are hard on parents and children...but it's better than growing up in a lie or in a house that lacks love between parents. If your children are the only reason you want to save your marriage file for a divorce right away. You owe it to yourself and to your kids.

Answer 15

The bible gives you grounds for divorce. But God also said if you choose to be reconciled then do so. So if you choose to forgive him, that's your business, don't listen to anyone else. Misery loves company.



I find it funny how people on here say divorce for the kids sake. Give me a brake. Divorce can leave children traumatized and even lead them to suicide. Most of us had parents that fought, life is not a rose garden. We still would rather have our parents together. Dad needs to stay under the same roof! period. A daughter needs her dad and so does a son, there is no substitute for a father.



I'm sorry for what has been done to you, that was not right. God can help you through it. Lots of women forgive, and our glad for it. Get a good book about this subject at the Christian bookstore, and start reading. Your not gonna get the right advice on here.

Answer 16

I have always felt very strong about this kind of situation. I don't believe in staying together for the children. I am a child of divorced parents and I am so glad they didn't stay together ..and yes I turned out just fine. Staying together for the kids sends a message to your children that it is okay for people to disrespect you and also to settle on what you can get.

You need to be with someone who RESPECTS you and needs you in their life just as much as you need them. You don't want to live your life always looking behind your back to make sure nothing is going on. It wont be easy for a while but saving your selfworth is worth it. Don't ever think thats as good as it is going to get because that is not true. You deserve someone who treats you right. The kids will thank you later on that you taught them not to let people run all over you.

Answer 17

Staying for the sake of the children doesn't really work. It makes for a phony, stressful, uncomfortable environment. To get out for the sake of yourself is so selfish that it angers me. It is about the children and what is best for them. With that being said, the correct thing to do would be to get out for the sake of and in the best interest of the children. If that, indeed, is the case. I personally could not stay with my husband if he cheated on me. Not only would I fear that he would do it again, but that I would be sending the message that it would be okay to cheat again because I forgave him on a lame a** lie. Because that is what it is, a lie, not an excuse. Which, by the way, there is no excuse for cheating. Not to mention, when the kids do find out and understand why their parents are no longer together, what kind of message do you want them to get out of it? I, and my siblings, are the products of divorce. My dad was smart enough to get out early on and had to go to court twice, for custody. He won both times. My stepfather, however, stayed with mother for the sake of my sibs, and that turned out horribly. Put the children first. Yes, it is going to be tremendously difficult. One of the first things you should do is to line up counseling. For all of you, especially the children. If you focus on the kids, and put them first in every choice you make, it will be okay. It is going to be difficult enough for them without their own parents adding to it.

Answer 18

Wow - my heart goes out to you - what you have to do is not easy either way you go.



The first question I would have to answer would be, how badly does the husband want to work it out? Does he realize that he has put his marriage, family, and future on the line with his behavior? Is his wanting to work it out sincere? Does he have an understanding of the hurt and damage he has caused to you and the consequences to his children?



One can "get over and forgive" infidelity but only if both parties are working 200% to heal the damage. If you just cover it up the relationship never heals and one way or another it will fall apart, now or later.



good luck to you in finding the best path for you and your children.

Answer 19

Well you can do both....



If you pick to divorce that means you don't love each other any more and divorce can turn your (3 little) kids life "up-side down" but you can still have bonding time:



(These are options, if you get a divorce, to bond with your kids and there mother and father)



1.)You, for Ex- husband, and the kids can go to a sports game.

2.)Take them to a show



I mean you don't need to picture you and your husband never ever seeing each other but like live separate but bond with your kids with there mother and father SOMETIMES not all the time but a few times a month or week.





BUT THIS IS MY THOUGHT YOU NEED TO GO TO A CONSULAR AND TALK ABOUT THE OPTIONS THAT YOU HAVE BECAUSE THIS SHOULD NOT BE YOUR CHOICE IT SHOULD BE YOURS THESE ARE ONLY THOUGHTS AND HEY MAYBE THERE NOT GREAT AND PROBABLY HORRIBLE BUT YOU REALLY NEED TO SEE SOMEONE JUST TO LAY OUT YOUR OPTIONS AND PICK THE BEST ONE.

Answer 20

Me, personally...I couldn't stay with someone who had cheated. And I definitely wouldn't stay with him just for the kids' sake. You have to decide if you're still in love with him. I know you said some of the love had been taken away, but if you do still love him, even a little, you could try counseling first and see where that takes you. But if you're unhappy, it will reflect onto your children, so it would be better for them and you to just get out. I grew up in a home where my mom was unhappy, and I wish she would have just left my dad instead of staying for my sake. I am getting ready to leave my husband, as well. There was no cheating involved, but after many months of me contemplating if I should stay just for our children, I have decided that it would be in everyone's best interest for me to leave, as it will make me happier and, therefore, make my kids happier. But I am no longer in love with my husband, and once the love is gone, it's very hard to get it back. But by you saying you could "co-exist" it sounds like you're not in love with him anymore. If you decide to leave, your kids will adjust and be just fine. Good luck.

Answer 21

You know this kind of situation always pisses me off. I was in the same ordeal and I caught my ex hubs with 2 women. We have a 2 year old son, I tried to bite my tongue but that turns into an implosive inertia. Get out! Your happiness is important too, yes it may effect the kids, but I think it's fair to them to have a happy mom who's single than a miserable mom who is with a cheater who makes excuses. Cheating is cheating.

Answer 22

Get out now you will lose all self respect and self esteem for yourself you will feel worthless. You did everything to try and salvage your marriage and it didn't work your children will be fine they don't have to lose their father if he has any good in him he will remain in their lives. You can not even be a good mother if you are unhappy. Don't let this man strip you of your self worth I don't say LEAVE easily like you I believe in trying to make it work but there is a time to say I deserve better so say it and do it and start working on getting you back to the woman you use to know. Look into your mirror after a while and say hi how are you doing long time no see good luck hon you will be fine !!!

Answer 23

I think you should at least separate for a bit to get your head clear. That's what I would do. It'll give you both time to think and it would be a chance to see how the kids would take it. You may forgive him but no way will you ever forget! If you have had problems before and tried working it out but it didn't help then I don't think it will...

Kids are alot smarter than people give credit too and if all they see is fighting even silently then it's best for them to go your ways.

Answer 24

I would get out of the marriage. In the end staying in the marriage will probably hurt you and your kids. Would you rather live a life as a big lie or, even though it would be hard, live truthfully. If you aren't happy in your marriage then it will show. Kids know when there is stress in a home and staying in this marriage could be worse than getting divorced. Good luck. Hope everything turns out alight in the end.

Answer 25

Your kids and you deserve someone better than that. I'm sure you would be able to bring up children way better off by yourself and God-willing will also find someone later in your life who might be a better father to the kids. No kid in this world should have to grow up watching their mother being abused physically, emotionally or psychologically. For research shows that children one day may mimic parental behavior. No woman should go through self-worthlessness for the sake of kids.



I will have a ray for you in my prayers.

Answer 26

You need to weigh out what is going to make you more miserable... Being in a financially stable atmosphere... with a man that broke your heart, or being in an emotionally stable atmosphere, lonely and as a single mother. Either way, your children are going to suffer in one way or another. So they need your love and support more than ever regardless of what you decide to do.

If you stay with him because of finances, you more than likely will be resentful (possibly even hateful) and it is not something you can hide from your children forever without mentally damaging yourself.

Remember that they are mimics of us more times than not. Do you want your kids thinking its ok to be miserable and to stay in a bad relationship? Whatever you do, I wish you the best of luck. Stay strong.

Answer 27

so, do you really think "staying for the kids sake" is healthy for the kids? They sense the tension, they hear the fights, they don't know what to do......Divorcing does not have to "turn their lives upside down" If you can be civil and adult and work together it can be much more beneficial than having your kids grow up watching an unhealthy relationship and possibly moving to adulthood with an unhealthy view of what a relationship should be. My mom and step dad had a wonderful loving relationship anyone would envy, my dad was all the bad stuff you describe, living with him once I was old enough to understand would have been horrible, I am glad to have not had that experience

Answer 28

Well, see if you can make it past this and you have to decide whether you can forgive him and still love him. Don't try to make the marriage work if it's only for the kids. It's no better for them to grow up in an environment full of fighting between parents that don't love each other.

Answer 29

*big hugs* This is a tough one and I'm glad you're thinking it through before making any decisions. You need to ask yourself some serious questions like ... can you forgive him ... is he truly remorseful ... how is your marriage otherwise. People can and do make mistakes and some learn from them and never repeat them. In the end, only you can know what to do and what's right for you. I sincerely hope everything works out for you and your children not matter what you choose.

Answer 30

it depends but when i was younger my parents use to fight a lot in front of my sister and i. it really hurt us both i remeber one time my sister and i were both crying together and we both decided that we wanted them to split. My mom always told us that if it were not for us she would leave my dad. She never ended up leaving him and they are still together today i can see that they are doing good now but then again im never at home but they seem to be in love still. I do know they did have some issues with being faithful to eachother maybe you two can pull through but eighther way your marriage goes it will effect your kids. best of luck

Answer 31

in a question whether divorce or not for the sake of kids i would always chose a house. if there is no possibility for u to stay in the house with kids without your cheating husband i would stay with a cheating husband. but that's just me. there is nothing worse than living in a block with hundreds of other people.

Answer 32

wow.

it sounds familiar.

my mom found out that my step-dad was cheating on her a while back. my mom didn't know what to do either just for my younger siblings. she stayed with him for a while and was miserable.

she new she would have to sell the house and find a better paying job but new she had to do it.



so our family for time being moved out and moved into an apartment. my mom got a part time job for a few months just to get back on her feet.

four years later she's soo happy she made the decision. my step-dad was very mean and my mom found out he cheated on her about 4 times. he used some lame excuse also.



i know you worry about your kids but honestly i respect my Mom even more for being so strong and moving out. yeah it was depressing for a while and hard on my siblings for a while but now were such a stronger family.

i'd say get out while you can! in the long run your body is going to wear out on stress and worry. i promise your children will respect you so much more in the long run.



i'm sorry i know it hurts. like your whole insides feel like they could fall out.

something that i've always tried to live by is: if you feel like your life is at it's worse, just think, it can only get BETTER!

best of luck to you. and sorry about your New Years.

stay strong, i know you can do it!

Answer 33

If you no longer "love" him - you would be cheating yourself and your children if you stayed. The question is "would I be happier with or without him?" Most divorce laws would not required that the childrens home be sold - they are set up to try to insure that the children's standard of living does not change. However, be aware that most states try hard for joint custody - you won't get full custody and you will still have to deal with him regularly about the kids.

Answer 34

I came from a family with a lot of divorce in it (both my parents have been married 3 times, one has been divorced 3 times) and it's always better to just call it quits. It has such a horrible effect on kids to see their parents together when it's not working, and trust me....no matter how much you hide it, your kids will know. At least if your separated you both are happy and your kids are in a better environment.

Answer 35

get out like now! not only for the childrens sake but for your sake! something like this happened to my aunt and about 1 month and a half ago her husband shot her 3 times when she was sleeping. now my 2 year old cousin has no mom or dad. plz just get out.

Answer 36

Get out for your own sake AND for your kids' sake. Why would you want your children to be raised by a liar and cheater? Their world might be turned upside down temporarily until you move and get things settled, but the role model(s) you provide for them will be with them for years to come.

Answer 37

I think you guys have alot to sort out before deciding either way. Talk to him about why he cheated, talk about if you guys love each other, what you both want for the future, have a real heart to heart. if you realise that you are out of love then leave him. it will be hard on the children but you deserve better and the children will be ok.

Answer 38

i don't know how old your children are, but im 14 and i know personally that if my dad did that to my mom or for whatever reason they were unhappy being with each other, i wouldn't want them to stay together in hopes of keeping me and my brother and sister happy and everything.

it wouldn't be fair to my parents to have to live in a situation they don't want to be in.

yes, a divorce would be hard on you and the kids, but in the end it will be worth it.

you will be happier and your kids will be too, and (i don't know how old they are) they will understand eventually why it had to happen.

Answer 39

If you are going to divorce do it when your kids are young, the older the worse, if they grow up knowing nothing else it is much smoother, and less rebellionus. You could still live together, just not be together, divorced but co existing, and still being able to date and be your own person. Our get houses really close to each other.

Answer 40

First of all some fathers have to pay for the house. you do not have to move. YOu can make him pay i can't see anyone staying for kids if you bring it up it would be horrible and he is sorry surely but hell do it again cause he can and will it mabye few years but he is a moonster for you to do this to you. i think it would be best to get him out of there and him pay for the hosue and support and whole entire 9 yeards and get a good lawyer and get him period. no selling will proabbly have to happen either.

Answer 41

It's not healthy to stay in a relationship that you dont feel confortable with. Get out of it. And as for the kids, im sure there are ways that you can work out that they get to see their Dad every weekend or something like that. It is always sad for children to get seperated from their father, but why would you want someone who did such a horrible thing to you guys around them anyways. He's a bad influence, and he is the cause of this.

Answer 42

what is most important is you.

and the kids of course.

but he cheated. it makes no sense

for you to stay after something like that.

it will do more harm in the end then help.



the children will have to grow up and understand it

when they are old enough 2.



my parents split because my dad was a drug user.

and i am fine.



it also helps me keep from doing drugs, and getting myself

into stupid relationships and stuff like that.



for your own good health.

get out.

Answer 43

if you're miserable, get out. when the kids are older they'll understand. my parents are divorced. if you get divorced your kids can still have a good relationship with each of you. if you stay, your kids might notice how miserable you are and it may make them upset to live in an unhappy home. do what you like, but, to me, unfaithfulness in marriage is something i'd totally think about divorce for.

Answer 44

WWhen the kids are young and parents slit up- it affects them but as they get older they get used to it



my best friend had that exact same thing happen to her - however she was the child in the situation.



it was heartbreaking but she learnt that it was the right thing for her mum to do.



You shouldnt have to live with a man you might not even trust with ur kids.

Answer 45

My parents divorced becasue my mum cheated on my dad. It would have been fine if my dad hadn't gotten us so involved. If you are going to be miserable stayig, leave, and see what happens. The kids are important but they can adapt.

Answer 46

As long as they're young enough, I don't think it would impact them that much. My parents divorced when I was four (my brother two). I saw my dad every weekend then never again four years later, as my mum moved us to another province. I feel no inclination to find him (even though he apparently moved to our city recently) nor do I blame my mum for taking us away from him.

Answer 47

Only you can answer that question. My advice will be to focus on yourself and your children. If you do stay you have to make sure that you have forgiven him and it will be a dead issue. Pray about your situation and think long and hard.

Answer 48

Honestly, growing up with divorced parents is way better then growing up in a home where parents dont get along or there is resentment between parents.



I grew up in a home where my parents stayed together "for the kids"

Which is complete crap. Fighting, resentment.. they tried to hide it and completely failed. I would have rather grown up with my parents SEPRATE and HAPPY in other relationships, then grow up where they are miserable.

Answer 49

Get out for the kids' sake and your own. Those kids will sense what you're feeling and the strain in your relationship.

Answer 50

Tip: CHEAT BACK ON HIM. Forget the dat rape drug story, wow, he is ignorant. have him catch you cheating. I decided and have many times told my husband that if he ever cheated on me, i would not leave him we have three kids together, i would simply make him walk in the house when i was getting it on with a few of his co workers. Simply put, he hasnt cheated and i really dont think he ever will.

Answer 51

i think honestly its divorce time because if you stay



then he could decide to leave



or you guys could fight a lot and hurt the kids even more



just remember to remind the kids constantly its not their fault



young children tend to feel solely responsible for a lot of divorces/seperations

Answer 52

get out for KIDS sake, it is worse for the children to live in a house where both parents fight all the time, than for them to live with one parent. hearing the fighting all the time is horrible.

Answer 53

Divorce him and don't worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow will take care of itself.

Answer 54

Pray on it. You will get the best answer from above...

Answer 55

Get out for god sakes

Answer 56

get out, if you stay you'll hurt the kids

Answer 57

guess you haven't seen " revolutionary road" yet.





*sigh*



always ALWAYS get out. live now or die with regret.

Answer 58

THINK ABOUT THE CHILDREN!!!