Reward system for my boyfriend ?

Question

He's fighting the tough battle of quitting smoking. I really want to show him that I'm supportive. Maybe in a sexual way. Lol. I just can't think of a good reward system. Today will be his first day at work without smoking. How can I reward him when he gets home? We live together with no roommates so I have full run of the house.

I'm going to post this in married because I think more useful answers will come from it instead of teenagers. Lol.

Answer 1

No need to overthink it. BJs can motivate a guy to do pretty much anything.



Props to you for being so supportive and good luck to your bf.

Answer 2

Be supportive but I'd be careful of a reward system. On some level it will make him feel manipulated, controlled, obligated. At the very least he'll feel you're taking credit for his achievement, like he was able to quit because of you. See what I'm saying?



So my advice is be supportive and let him know that you're impressed. Guys have big egos and like to be impressed. Then get kinky, just because he's so impressive you can't resist, not as a reward for him being a good dog.

Answer 3

If you're willing, a blowj*b would come in handy here. It could be a daily reward. You can add in varying techniques to give it a new "twist" each time so it doesn't get so redundant.



And then as a "long term" reward; like every 2 weeks or month that he goes with no smoking...he gets to act out one of fantasies on you (with the agreement that you are comfortable with this fantasy as well).

Answer 4

Sex is not a reward or manipulation tool.



This is reminiscent of giving a puppy snacks for coming to heel.



He's an adult, if he is going to successfully give up smoking, his motivation has to come from within, sex becoming conditional on quitting will cause him to resent you.

Answer 5

Jealous or not this behavior has been tolerated or catered to for too long or it wouldn't be this bad. My son is 2 1/2 and well behaved, but even he has his "moments" when he tries to test the waters. We started just after his first birthday with "please" and then added "thank you". We've just masterd "excuse me" with him and it has helped when he wants something or gets something. Start there. She's old enough. As for discipline we use a three step system with him: 1. First time is a firm warning and being told what is unacceptable. ("NO! Emma, we do not scream at the table!") 2. Second time is time out. Let them scream, but insist that they sit the full 2-3 minutes at this age. Tell them why it is inappropriate and get an apology before they leave when it's over. If she is back talking you with saying "no" when it's over put her back in time out and tell her "we don't tell mommy "no" when you're told not to do something!" Start the time out over again until she stops following the procedure from step one. 3. If it continues then warn her first that if she doesn't stop she is getting spanked. If it continues then pick her up and swat her on her bottom 1-2 times. Be firm but not hard enough to injure her. Let her scream about it for a couple minutes and then pick her up and let her know that she is loved but you will not tolerate the misbehavior. Get an apology from her when she calms down. Trust me, this isn't abuse, it's discipline. Abuse would be hitting your child with a coat hanger or electrical cord. A couple smacks on the butt with your hand to get their attention is not abuse. The nice thing about this system is that when we are in public we can start counting and tell him "You're on one, straighten up." and he knows exactly what we mean now. Usually it's all it takes now but occassionally we get to step 2 and rarely step 3. The key is firmness and consistency. Behavior your tolerating is behavior you are telling her is acceptable and permissable. As for rewards with our son when he's been good we may get him a simple treat when we're out somewhere like some ice cream or let him pick something. For him he likes going to Barnes and Noble and picking a story book out sometimes. Other times he likes a new train for his railroad set. Others he just likes a special treat like going for icecream or even sidewalk chalk or bubbles. It doesn't have to be much but occassionally a nice little treat and letting them know how good they've been and that you are proud of them doesn't hurt. For a day to day thing though we do a high five and tell him what a great job he did or how he was a good helper etc.. Praise works better than any material motivator I know when it's for a true accomplishment or something they have done very well. If the behavior you described is let go it's going to get worse as time goes on and you'll end up with a spoiled brat on your hands as well as a kid who is ruling the roost rather than mom and dad. Ever hear of Veruca Salt? She's on her way there. Whatever system you use consistency with it, firmness when you deal with misbehavior and following through are keys to success. It won't happen over night, but you can't back down or just toss in the towel when it gets hard. There is no over night fix.

Answer 6

I think that's a great way to be supportive. Guys are driven physically so heck.. if I got held out on.. I would want to quit smoking too.

Answer 7

Sexual favors as rewards is great! But NEVER NEVER NEVER use lack of sex or refusal of sex as a punishment!



Sex needs to be fun if you start to use it as a tool to get your way you will end the relationship very fast!

Answer 8

There's just one problem here. When I have sex, I've just GOT to have that cigarette afterwards!! I'm sure he'll appreciate your gesture, but don't build your hopes up.

Answer 9

All I can say is you're a great GF and the dude is lucky to have you

Answer 10

Well...it's a pretty simple equation and highly motivational



1 day WITHOUT a cigarette = 1 day WITH sex



Great idea.

Answer 11

well im 14 with loads!! of tuns of experiance <-- Kidding it's very hard to say because every man is different, the best advise i could give is, ask him this question without him noticing, Best of luck

Answer 12

He should be getting sex anyway .



Have you considered that his having to earn sex may have contributed to his smoking in the first place ?

Answer 13

a hand for a day..



a blow for a week..



a bang for two weeks...



a free pass for the backyard after 2 months...



You... a friend and him for 1 year...

Answer 14

Greet him with his fav drink and nothing on but a smile. How cool would that be?

Answer 15

I quit smoking..what time should I come over?

Answer 16

Smoke his pipe ;)

Answer 17

Massage, and hot sex,