Has anyone marraige survived the "divorce talk"?

Question

Has anyone marraige survived the "divorce talk"?

-married 11 years with two kids(10,2)
-husband non-affectionate, no sex, no communication
-has cheated, gawks at every woman passing
-hangs out at clubs on the weekend til 4 in the morning
-says he is no longer attracted to me
-i beg for $ex and affection

IS THIS GROUNDS FOR DIVORCE...SHOULD I GIVE UP HOPE?

Answer 1

All of the factors (except the first, lol) should be totally nonexistent in a marriage and summing them up I can only draw the conclusion that your husband's an ar$e. You're not supposed to have to BEG for love, it's supposed to be a given, before and after you get married. So by dragging the inevitable out, you're only torturing yourself and I say you deserve better. But then you have to take the step, divorce the bastard and preferably get sole custody of your children (what kind of role model is a promiscuous bastard after all?) and NEVER speak to him again. Then find a man and father to your children who actually gives a damn about you and will treat all of you the way you deserve. It will take time and effort (and DON'T enage in rebound relationships which only result in plain disaster), but once it's there, you'll see it was all worth it. Don't up with the mess any longer, call it a day, and file for divorce. Good luck :)

Answer 2

My marriage has survived the "divorce talk" twice. We have been married for 15 years, together for 16.



However you say some things here that would indicate that maybe the talk needs to become reality.



We first had the talk when I caught him cheating. He said he wanted out so I said fine. In the end it wasn't what he wanted he was just so sure I would leave him, he wanted to be the leaver, not the leavee.



We had the talk again after he acted like a total imbecile on our vacation, actually throwing a tantrum that it was too cold in the hotel room (air on low and about 100 degrees out). When I refused to turn it off he went nuts. We drove over 15 hours to get to our vacation spot and came home 1.5 days later because I refused to stay there with him after that. He said we were not compatible and wanted a divorce so I filed, and it took a bit but he finally admitted that wasn't what he wanted and we worked through it.



Couple key things...you should not have to beg for intimacy. Try something new maybe, like lingerie or romantic dinner but if he isn't interested, in you chances are dressing it up won't work, and just make you feel bad. You can't control his comings and goings, he is an adult, and clearly feels that he doesn't owe you anything, not even respect. He is probably actively cheating, and more than likely carrying on a relationship.



My suggestion, kick him out, or take the kids and leave. File for a separation. Distance can make the heart grow fonder, he will either have some time to himself and realize he wants to be with you, or he will tell you that he wants divorce. What would be better still is for you to move out, with the kids, and have some time for yourself and you realize you don't want a relationship like that and you say you want a divorce.



Good luck.

Answer 3

Yes, those are grounds for divorce. This person is not acting like a spouse.



But... consider that with divorce will come child custody determinations. That means he can bring whatever woman (or man, for that matter) around the children that he wants to during the time he has custody, and you will not be there to protect your children.



It's a terrible situation, but at as long as you are living together, you have more control over what happens to your kids.



Did you really marry a bad person? If so, there isn't much hope. But if you married a good person who is making bad decisions, then something can be done to make a change for the better.

Answer 4

Have the talk.



The worst thing that can result from it is that one or both of you want OUT.



It will certainly deal with your complaint of no communication.



Not communicating will impact on affection and attraction so you might resolve them too.



See if you can contemplate a better happier life, with or without him, and nothing will change unless you start to hammer away at the dissconnection in your relationship.



Do you want a divorce ? is as good an opening gambit to resolve your relationship issues

I would advise that you seek help from a counselor if you both want to try and make it work.



Counseling is helping me to understand where things went wrong, and I am in a better position to make choices for my future

Answer 5

Yes it is and yes you should.