guy has been online dating five years and still hasn't found someone?

Question

I went on two dates with a guy I met on plentyoffish.com. we hit it off and were laughing together-he told me he likes me, etc. On the first date I asked how long he's been dating online. He said five years, a few dates per week. And NONE of them turned into a relationship. I'm thinkin this guy might be pretty picky (hes definitely a catch). That being said, his profile says hes ready to settle down and he asked if im someone who wants to have kids someday on our second date. He never goes out and meets girls just relies on online dating. Anyway I haven't heard from him and its been a week since the second date. Do you think its pointless for me to ask him on a third date at this point since he is so picky? I really like this guy and felt like we clicked.

Answer 1

Some people who try online dating find they like having the ability to meet and date many different people that they normally wouldn't ever meet otherwise, some like this so much that while they might find what they are seeking in someone, the reason they started do this becomes secondary to the popularity and excitement of meeting new people. He may have become what's know as a serial dater. I would sent him a message and express ur intrest in him for more and see what u get back.

Answer 2

Beth, this guy must have major issues if he's been doing this for five years and had that many dates, or he's just full of himself and trying to impress you. In any event, the fact that he asked you about marriage and kids on the second date is a huge red flag so I'd stop wasting time on this guy.



**I could be wrong, but its just not something that a person should be asking before you really even know if your going to date him in the first place. This question is normally asked at least a few months into a relationship if not longer. And your right about him being picky, unless he's full of crap I can guarantee you that he is.

Answer 3

I would assume he's not interested at this point. He should have made some plan or at least kept it touch within the week. Also, I would presume that if he's been in the game for 5 years, with no relationships, that he's not as good a catch as he seems. Trust me, I dated a guy who was gorgeous, sexy, fit and I worshiped him like he was a greek god. Looking back, it was so unrealistic. He was so flawed and had big emotional problems. Of course, I didn't see these things until later and he ended up really hurting me. So don't worry about it, he probably isn't what he seems. The grass usually isn't greener on the other side and maybe it's all for the best.

Answer 4

If you really like this guy, show him you're different from the other girls he dated and make an effort to turn it in to a relationship if you want to. Carry on seeing him. Also, ask him why all the other girls he dated never worked out because he might just be interested in socializing, bring up the topic of relationships maybe. Plus, asking about kids on the second date might scare him a little bit because it's only the second time you've seen each other (right?) and talking about the future like that might seem a little nerve wrecking.

Answer 5

I think it's more likely he is just a player. He goes on a few dates a WEEK! That's way beyond the norm. If he was just picky, he would've found someone by now to at least carry on some sort of relationship. It sounds like he's just playing the field. Don't bother.

Answer 6

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Answer 7

Well after 5 years it's hardly likely he's looking for a long term relationship as to your question "is it pointless to ask him for a 2nd date" Yes it is pointless.



Move on and find someone who shows a proper interest in you.

Answer 8

If you like him you can try for a third date but if you feel he is picky and your risking rejection just ask casually and keep your personal expections low if he rejects you then its fair enough and it doesn't have to be a big deal just dont be too eager with him and be calm keep things at friendly stage and give it a bit of patience.

Answer 9

I feel that he gets bored easily and maybe finds pleasure in just messing around with different people leaving them with the impression that he likes them and then is on to the next...

Answer 10

Move on.