Am I crazy? My husband of 9 yrs has "befriended" my cousins daughter. They txt each other many times per day,?

Question

speak on the phone, im each other on the computer, etc. He erases all his texts messages saying he "always does this". Then when I question him about the contact & ask that it stop as it hurts me, we get into a huge fight & I get blamed because I am home all day, or I have a medical condition. I don't think this contact is appropriate but I also don't want to be unreasonable. He says there is nothing going on & he shouldn't have to tell me about everyone he talks to. So I ask - am I crazy?

Answer 1

No you are not crazy, and yes coming from personal experience, I feel like you have the right to get mad, and yes he is going to get pissed and defensive. I have had the same problem with someone constantly texting people. I know how it feels, and it does hurt. But, here is the problem, no matter how much you complain, and gripe, it is not going to make a difference. Let me explain a little better here. This person was texting, not one, but several people, at first when I started telling them about how I felt with the texting, they told me that I was jealous and paronoid. It continued, and continued. Then one day I snapped. I had had it with all the hoochies, had it with all that crap, and we would fight constantly about the texting and crap, and finally he decided that the best thing to do was delete the people from the phone......ummm he may have deleted them, but here is the deal, even though you delete someone does not mean that they will stop texting and contacting each other! I am no idiot, and for the longest time thought that it was still going on. I am still not sure that it isn't. The thing is that they have to want to rid their lives of the people that are causing problems, and you complaining is not going to work. He is going to have to see where he is wrong in doing this but I do not believe that men can see where things like this is wrong. They are on a completely different brain wave than us women.

Answer 2

I'm sorry but this is absurd. The man is definitely up to something. Tell the girl's mother about it again, although at 25 she should really know better. Tell your husband if this doesn't stop, you'll kick his sorry @ss out of the door and divorce him. Lol, I wouldn't stand for that for a second. Best of luck - the man is being very silly.

Answer 3

Tell your cousin that you don't want her daughter texting your husband and then tell that 25 yr old NOT to text YOUR husband again. It is definately NOT appropriate behavior.



Tell your husband that the texting is NOT right considering he is married to YOU and new female friends aren't welcome in your marriage. If he gets mad and demands his "time" with her, you can be sure there is a lot more to it.



Do you do the bills? If it continues, I'd stop paying his cell phone bill or have his texing cancelled. He's pissing off his wife so he can talk to some 25 yr old chick, he obviously is losing respect for your wishes. Not good. I'm sorry.



Good luck hon.

Answer 4

Well first of all if she is arguing with you about a computer that you bought and may or may not be in her bedroom(and it shouldn't be in he room)then right then she should not even be allowed to get on the computer at all,and depending on her age.......16yrs. and under,maybe 2hrs tops,simply because the longer they are on line the more likely it will be that they will be looking at stuff they shouldn't,and or being on my space looking at the naked females that post their photos for all to see including teens unfortunately,........I would suggest that you visit my space,start your own page so that you can see what you are allowing your child to view without your knowledge,I mean you couldn't possibly no what she is looking at if you are allowing her to have a my space page,it is very explicit! One more thing, if while your child is on the computer,and you just decide to sit there with her and watch what she may be doing and she gets pissed off, and ask you not to watch or breath down her neck, then she is undoubtedly doing something she knows that you would not approve of,so I will end by saying be the parent and take complete and total charge no matter how she gets pissed,Good luck and I hope this was informative.

Answer 5

you are not crazy - he is creating doubt and that's not fair if he won't do anything to relieve you of that doubt and neither will the 25 yr old



her mom can't do much when her daughter is 25 unfortunately



is there anyone else in the family that can speak to her - an aunt, grandma, grampa that she might listen to



i would tell EVERYONE in the family and friends not only to shame them but also to let them know that people are watching and its bad behaviour on their parts - maybe disapproving looks and whispers at family gatherings may grow them the heck up

Answer 6

This girl has no respect for the rules of family, society or marriage. She is a true ****!! Your Husband obviously sees you as a bit of a pushover who has no rights. You are going to have to stand up to him and demand that he shows respect for you and your marriage! Tell him that you will not accept him keeping in touch with someone you are not comfortable with. Tell him you are paranoid because of his obstinacy! Tell him you can't trust his actions right now because he is oblivious to your hurt and anger! Tell him you will not stand for it and if he doesn't stop you will be forced to file for divorce!

It all sounds a bit over the top but trust me sometimes this is what gives the idiots a wake up call!

I had always believed that I would die without my Husband and then he went and had an affair. It opened my eyes to the fact that I was perfectly capable of looking after myself IF I HAD TO!! I became a strong person with his knowledge and helped to open the eyes of my husband! He can't do enough to put things right Between us !

Answer 7

If he had nothing to hide, he would leave the messages on the phone to put your mind at ease.

The relationship is inappropriate for a married man and he knows it. Suggest you ask him how seriously he values your marriage.

Answer 8

Based on that info, i would not say you are crazy. I think you are correct. That much contact sounds inappropriate. A married man having that much communication with another woman certainly leaves room for suspicion. Good luck.

Answer 9

Honestly if he gets defensive...he may have something to defend. my husband and i have been together 5 years and he has never cheated onme...but any time he has gotten caught doing something...no matter what it is...he blows up. It could be something very simple...Like telling me he had to work an hour later rather than just saying....Me and so and so were talking an i lost track of time! LOL....I would really be worried at this point.......Its fine for your husband to ahve female freinds...most do...but only if its completly open..demand he do not earse his texts and let you see em....if he refuses..then you may ahve a prob!

Answer 10

You are not crazy. He is cheating or at least will be soon.

You need to dig for the info, check his computer and phone records.

follow him if you have to, but I'm telling you he is cheating and will not fess up until he is caught red handed.

Answer 11

you are definitely not crazy,go see the girl in question and politely ask her ,preferably in front of her Mother to stop texting you husband as it causes trouble good luck

Answer 12

your are not crazy. i hate to say it but it does sound like somethings going on. could you maybe have a word with your cousins daughter or even your cousin.

also is there an age issue here that could make the situation even more inapropriate.

Answer 13

OK, first of alll!!! he should NOT be talking to a woman this much or not at all for that matter. Second of all, if he is trying to hide something, DEFINETLY there is something going on. Third of all, you are not crazy, HE is crazy. You have to do something b4 this gets worse.

Answer 14

your not crazy and how old is the person and if he had nothing to hide he wouldn't erase it your his wife you have a right to treated fair and be respected he has a emotional affair with who he is talking to

Answer 15

he's playing games, how old is your cousins daughter? I take it your husband over 30. put a STOP it now, before you get hurt.



That coming from a man

Answer 16

No youre not. hes up to something and you have to do something about it. You should try asking him one more time and then ask her, if they deny it then get hold of his phone and send a text to her (as if its from him) and see what she replies, you will then be able to see what sort of stuff she says to him.Or there are things you can buy online that will check his text messages. thatll catch him out and then you dump him.

Answer 17

I would just say calmly if you have nothing to hide why erase messges, speaking from personal experience people only erase things they have to hide - sorry

Answer 18

Oh theres somthing going on . You dont say how old she is. Im doing the same thing so yes there is somthing going on .

Answer 19

If he had nothing to hide, then he would not have erased those messages. He is cheating on you.

Answer 20

Does her mom know this? You might want to tell her mother first then go from there.

Answer 21

That reads like Lolita, call him Humbert and see what he does.

Answer 22

i would put a stop to this before you have a little cousin thats also your stepdaughter. This is totally unacceptable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 23

For 'befriended', see: 'poked'.

Answer 24

hiya, he is knocking her of.