My sons father has not signed the parenting schedule yet, do I have to let him see our son?

Question

I hired a lawyer who drafted a parenting schedule and modification for child support. My sons father was in agreement over pretty much the whole schedule except drop off times. When he read through the whole thing and realized because he hadn't given supporting financial papers his child support was being raised by $300 he raised a stink. He told me last week he would sign the schedule and would give my lawyer tax returns to correct the support. Which is fine. But now after talking to his family of arm chair lawyers he wants to hire a lawyer to go over the whole thing schedule and support and won't sign at all. He was told by people that the child support order had to include my husbands income as countable income instead of just other. My lawyer said no this isn't true. But since my son's dad is being so difficult do I have to let my son visit him on the weekends. There is nothing signed by both parents regarding visitation. There was a proposed parenting schedule filed with the clerk. I saw the stamp on my copy. Maybe if I kept my son home a couple weekends he would want to get this resolved. Everything was fine between us until it came to $. That's all he cares about.
Thanks to anyone who answers credibly I don't want to get charged for another phone call from the lawyer.

Answer 1

First, never use your child as leverage. That's not fair to your child or his dad and can cause real psychological issues. Second, if you have a lawyer in all fairness he should have one as well. Those papers can be complicated and if your lawyer has included something that your ex doesnt understand or has interpreted wrong then that could really make things tough on the dad and you. I'd let him get a lawyer, let him see his son and have some patients. I'm a mom who has dealt with this but I have also seen the other side with my husband whos ex withheld visitation from their son. Their young son developed lots of issues and a whole lot of pain as a result.

Answer 2

The father has every right to consult an attorney. Something this serious can't be resolved overnight. I realize you think you're in the right, but maybe he thinks otherwise.



I also suggest that you don't use your son as a bargaining chip. This will cause more harm than you can imagine, and will be ammunition the father can use against you during the deciding process.



Edit: It seems you're trying to make ADHD appear to be a mental handicap, which it is not. I agree that it is a disorder, but it does not make your child less intelligent than normal.



It also seems that you insist on having things your way, period, which makes you appear to be conniving and manipulative. Remember, there are three human beings involved here, and your thoughts and feelings aren't the only ones that matter. Try to look at the whole picture instead of just your tiny little part of it.



I suggest letting your child have visitation with his dad, but you control the circumstances until the court decides for you. Whatever you do, do not withhold visitation.

Answer 3

If there is a prior order for parenting time, then that order is still in full force and effect until the modification is accepted by the court.



If not, then no you don't have to let him see the child. However, you're going to put yourself in a SERIOUSLY bad position with the court, especially if he is retaining counsel. If his attorney is any good, should you go forward with your plan, he will file a suit to modify custody because clearly you are not fit to be the primary parent by using your child as a pawn.



Grow up and stop playing games with your child.



Edit:



So Dad creates a volatile environment, but yet you were fine with him seeing his son before? He's the cause of all this turmoil, so instead of seeking supervised visitation, you're modifying child support? Yea...keep talking cause your story falls apart the more you respond.



Edit 2:



So in other words, he's had ADHD since before this modification process occurred and there was not a problem then with Dad, but now you have a problem since he may possibly contest everything that you want because he doesn't believe it to be in the best interest of his child?



So in response to hiring an attorney, you're going to deny him access to his child?



Stop trying to use ADHD as a crutch to further your agenda. A child does not have to be diagnosed with ADHD in order to be manipulated, that happens all the time. From what I've read here, and I'm sure I'm in concert with other readers as well in thinking, YOU are actually more of a harm to this child than Dad is as well as the one who is trying to manipulate the child as well.

Answer 4

Your ex has every right to have these papers reviewed by an attorney of his choosing. The reasons behind that review are quite meaningless. Despite your protestations otherwise, yiu stated point blank that you are using your child as a tool in this battle. "maybe if I kept my son home for a couple of weeks he would want to get this resolved" Now that sounds like using the child to me. Then you say it is because your child has ADHD and can't handle his father's volatile environment. But you know that a child with ADHD needs to have a very fixed and set schedule for everything. So by playing fast and loose with his visitation, you would be the one throwing him for a loop, not his father.



I find this rather deplorable, a ploy you want to use to get your own way. And BTW I have 2 children with ADHD and they are not at all easily manipulated, If anything their ideas are set in stone once they make up their minds.

Answer 5

You have no right to keep your son from his father. Your son doesn't need to be punished for grown up problems. How dare you use him as a pawn in your game. That's sick.



Legally, if you're filing for a modification, that means there's an original order out there somewhere. The original order specifies when the father's visitation is to take place--until a modification order has been signed by a judge (not just a modification petition filed)--and must be followed. If the original order gives the father periods of possession (which they all do) you will be in contempt of court for not allowing his father to exercise his court ordered visitation. He can use it against you to get custody of your son, if he so wishes.

Answer 6

all the details of the money and the bickering should stay between you and your ex. let the kid see his dad. if you keep your child from his father you will be the one paying in the end because both of them will resent you. your child loves both of his parents and has a right to spend time with both of them regardless of your legal battles with each other. there are some things kids should not be involved in and you should never use your child as leverage to get what you want.

i dont know what kind of environment the father provides but i can tell you ADHD kids need a lot of attention and if you two are concentrating on arguing with each other he isnt getting the attention he needs.

Answer 7

If it is legal to keep from seeing the boy for a while, I would. There is NO way my kids would be living with their father at their grandparents house... kids need a decent person to look up to... someone like um... responsible! What happens when you give in and he flips the script on you? Then you don't get to see your son. Don't listen to haters, and don't withhold your son forever. Do what you gotta do and don't care what other people think. Your son being raised right is what's important!

Answer 8

Child support and visitations are two separate matters. If there is no court order giving him visitation rights during certain times, than you aren't "legally" doing anything wrong. I would just advice you to let your child see the father because every child needs their dad.

Answer 9

Do not use your son in any type of bargaining for visitation/child support. Your son needs to know his father. Let your son see his father and let the courts decide the financial support. Be the bigger person. If child support doesn't come, use the courts to enforce nonpayment.

Answer 10

Ohhhhh I get your game. Because he wants to protect his interests and make sure the paperwork is correct by giving his lawyer time to read over it and check it, you want to punish him by not letting him see his son. Because you insist on having your way, and not compromising with your ex.



Nevermind that in this action you'll be punishing your son too. And for what? What did your son do to deserve his mommy keeping him from his daddy? Nevermind that your son is having a hard enough time as it is because his parents can't be grown ups even though they pretended to be adults by having sex and getting knocked up in the first place. Yeah...way to go there mom.

Answer 11

It's wrong to use your son for a day, a week, a month against his father to get what you want. Keep the child out of your adult situation.

Answer 12

Don't punish your son, because stopping him seeing his father hurts him more than his father. Money always causes conflict during the first few years (some go on through many years). Explain to him that you wanted to stop him seeing his son because he is haggling over money but want to do what is right by your child, maybe he will see how reasonable you are and start getting himself together... worth a try.

Answer 13

Well at the moment, if the parenting schedule was agreed in court and he hasn't signed anything, then that can be your defense. If he doesn't sign it why should he see the child? Until he takes it to court, keep doing what you are doing or call the family courts for more information. They should be able to advise you what to do about it. That's what they are there for.

Answer 14

Have you changed your son's name to Pawn?



It was all about the parenting plan until you were criticized, then suddenly you played the ADHD card. Here's my question:



why'd you have a baby with such an angry, unstable man? That was very bad planning.

Answer 15

You have a lawyer to answer these legal questions..check with the lawyer for legal advice

Answer 16

Did it ever enter into your selfish little mind that maybe you should think about letting your SON see his father?



Stop trying to use your child as a weapon you selfish *****.

Answer 17

if he wants to see him let him see him, dont make it about money, or try to use your child to punish him, if i couldnt see my kids, i would have a broken heart.