Does marriage make a person complete?

Question

Why do people say that now that they have found their spouse there life is complete? I am a single 40 year old who was married to someone who treated me badly, abandoned me and moved on to his new wife and she likes to throw it in my face that now his life is complete and hers as well. I VERY MUCH want to find that special someone and get married again but I don't feel my life would then be complete. Yes I do hate him and her for what they have done to me but I also don't feel that I am jaded bitter, It seems to me that a person should feel good in their own skin as a complete person and not as an incomplete person.

Answer 1

I dont know why people say that either. I think that you should complete yourself before you move on to a serious relationship like marriage. You need to be the best YOU that you can be before trying to be the best WE. But after being married for 9 yrs, I can say that now, if something happened, I would no longer be complete. He is a very big part of me now and that would be gone.



So maybe I can see how during the course of a marriage, you can become so close that you would be incomplete without each other. But I dont think that getting married, instantly makes this true. It takes time, and its not really completing each other, but just becoming part of each other.



Heck you dont even have to get married for this to happen, just being together long enough and close enough. I think that maybe when they say that getting married completes them, it is more becuase they just needed to feel the commitment, and the security that it brings. So not necessarily something that the other person specifically brings to them, but the arrangement in general. Which of course is different than the "completing" of becoming close in a long relationship that I mentioned before.

Answer 2

To answer you question, no, a marriage does not complete a person. It may complete an accomplishment in their lives but not the person. Also, please consider this, if the woman your husband left you for life was so complete being with him she would not have to throw it in your face. You should not let her get to you because she is not the bigger or better woman you are. You have been strong and gone on with your life and she feels imcomplete because she has your left over goods. The next time you see or speak to her smile and tell her how happy you are for her and him and that you wish them the best. You are glad she found a man to complete her and make her happy that she would do anything for. Tell her there is no more need for her to contact you because you would not want to get in the way of her happiness. Be polite and walk away. If you have to deal with both of them due to a child or children that is fine just continue to be civil. If she or him calls and it does not pertain to the children dismiss yourself immediately and tell either one, especially her, that you are very busy and cannot speak at the moment, good to hear from you and have a nice day. Then simply hang up the phone. Don't let misery have any company. You will find someone. Just get out there and start looking. Just kidding. There is nothing wrong with goint to a nice mature gathering and maybe hooking up with someone. Don't put all your eggs in one basket and don't put out until you are married to Mr. Right. You will know. Blessings come and we have to recognize them. She did you a favor by "taking him" thank her and move on and be happy.

Answer 3

I see both sides of the argument. One one hand, some people feel like marriage does complete them (or rather being in a committed relationship). I don't think that is an emotional healthy view to have. Are you somehow incomplete if you never get married? Would anyone say that Goldie Hawn is incomplete because she's been with Kurt Russel for over 20 years without getting married. How about Susan Sarradon (or however you spell her name)? I think she's been with her man for 30 years or something like that. Is she less than whole. Both women have had very long lasting careers, both have won Oscars (one of the highest and most respected awards in their industry), both have had and raise children.



I got married almost 4 years ago. And I married him because I finally realized that I was more than enough, I was complete. I can live without him, but I choose not to. He does not complete me, he supplements me. Do you see what I'm saying.

Answer 4

I guess some people have been fortunate enough to find a spouse who wants to spend time with them, and with whom they have great physical and emotional connections. But for many marriage is actually very damaging to a person's sense of well-being. Some women even find that there are benefits to marriage financially. So I guess if some people have that then they feel complete.



My experience has not been positive, so I would not be one to say marriage has made me complete.

Answer 5

Marriage should not be thought of as a bandage for a person's problems - or being able to 'complete' a person. That's a load of BS.



IMO, to feel complete is to be happy with yourself - not yourself as part of a pair.



But I will argue that you are a bit bitter about the divorce/new wife.



As for the new wife, she's NOT complete simply by the fact that she feels the need to be cruel to you to make herself feel better about her situation. I'd bet, deep down she's a little bit insecure over the fact that you were her hubby's "first love". So because of that, she must be an @$$ to you to make herself feel better about herself...the gal that got the sloppy seconds, so to speak.



Forget him, forget her....they both sound like a couple of tools and deserve each other.



Find your own happiness. That's my hope for you.



Good luck~

Answer 6

Sorry about what the sob did to you. I've been there about 16 yrs ago. I also just wanted to be "complete", so I ended up marrying another one of my "prince charmings". Even worse than the first! Take your time and be picky--don't settle. You deserve it. And for the ho the sob's with, she'll be done, just like you were. Just wait and see. Just keep feeling good in your own skin and be glad he's gone.

Answer 7

When starry-eyed people claim they have found a partner who "completes" them, it makes my skin crawl! It gives me visions of rather pathetic incomplete people clinging together like needy little parasites in a toxic relationship.

I am happily married. My husband does not complete me. I was a whole person before I got married, and I continue to be so now (and so does he). Yes, we challenge, delight and energise one another. We don't need each other though ... and that's the way I like it!

Answer 8

I think only you can complete yourself. Another person can help you enjoy life more or inspire you to new levels but I'm not sure complete you is a good way to describe it. I'm glad your ex and his wife are happy--everyone should be. It's time for you to be be happy yourself then find someone to enjoy your trip through life.

Answer 9

You were born in this world alone and so shall you die, so why would you need someone else to feel complete?



When you meet the right man, you wont feel complete, you will feel as though everything has fallen into place.



PS That B**** probably only tells you how much shes in love with your ex because shes jealous or insecure about what you had with him.

Answer 10

Um, why are you even talking to them? Unless you have children from this marriage, then don't ever talk to them again. If you do, the next time she says this you just say "Honey, one woman's trash is another's treasure...my life is more complete WITHOUT him." And then don't say any more.



As far as hating them, forgive them because forgiving them heals you and lets you get on with your life. I am sure if her life was that great she wouldn't be throwing it in your face all the time. She is probably trying to convince herself as well as him.

Answer 11

You already have the right mindset, girl! Whoever thinks they need someone else to "complete" them is crazy. You really don't need anybody else in this world but yourself. Love you and everything about yourself. Take time to pamper yourself and make sure you realize all of the potential you possess. When you're confident and have a I-like-who-I-am attitude, people will be more drawn to you.



Hopefully this answer helped, Marcia.

Answer 12

it makes u complete because now u have everything (well, u re supposed to find your life soul mate when u get married). and yes, it made my life complete - because i wanted to have a man who would love me more than anything in the world, i was searching for it and for me if i want smth and do not have it my life can not be called complete

Answer 13

A healthy marriage does not complete a person.



A healthy marriage is made of two individuals who are already complete.

Answer 14

We must be happy within ourselves and bring that joy to a relationship, in order to feel somewhat fulfilled.



Marriage also is only as wonderful as the commitment involved. :)



Life seems to be a constant search for meaning.



Xo.

Answer 15

In all honesty, I wouldn't be complete without my husband. He came and made me life whole, something was missing before him. I agree that we have to feel good about ourselves as people, but that doesn't mean that we are "less" or inferior if we need another person enough to feel complete through them in our life.

Answer 16

Well when people said marriage complete their life mean that they're really in love with someone that they had been with.

Answer 17

Correction : "a GOOD marriage makes a person complete"



not everyone is lucky when it comes to marriage.



that's why everyone should feel complete when single.. you're right on track

Answer 18

when an incomplete person gets married they make that other person miserable.

Answer 19

no.I feel that a great part has been taken away from me