Question about divorce?

Question

who is the real victim of a divorce?
at what age does a child suffer the most from a divorce between their parents? (as in life stage, toddler. young kid, teen...etc)
what are the main problems caused by divorce to the child?

Answer 1

Everybody suffers from divorce.



The suffering the child goes through depends on lots of factors other than age. If their parents were arguing lots, divorce could help them. It also depends how "nasty" the divorce gets - whether the parents can agree on stuff or whether it goes to Court, etc.



According to some research done at a university here in Australia, examining lots of cases found that the effects of divorce were equally harmful no matter the age of the child.



However I think when parents divorce before a child is old enough to remember they will not suffer in the sam way as one who witnesses all steps in the divorce process.



Harriet

Answer 2

It depends! I mean if the marriage is staying together for the kids, everyone loses if the parents are fighting all the time. The kids grow up and "know" marriage as this horrible thing where mom and dad fight all the time, that's not healthy at all! It all depends on the parents and whether the absent parent is paying child support and spending time with the kids, if they are that's healthy and the kids will turn out great!



Toddlers adjust the quickest. A pre teen is going to be the most rebellous, especially if one of the parents manipulate them, the teen is going to be confused if they had no idea it was coming but they'll be releaved if the marriage was a bad situation.



By the time the kids are teens, they just want to do their own thing most of the time, but it's still important for the absent parent to provide for them. It doesn't matter if it's mom or dad but as teens the kids need a place to live and to still have support from the absent parent.

Answer 3

I do agree that the real victims of divorce are the children, and I don't think it matters what age the children are. My son was only 2 when my ex and I split, so in some ways, he has grown up with an acceptance of it, but he is now 11, and even to this day he says he wishes his dad and I were still together so he could spend all his time with both of us. But he also understands why we had to divorce, and is very happy in his home here - he has a great relationship with my current hubby and with his siblings. And realistically, he would have been incredibly unhappy if I had stayed with my ex, just because of the type of relationship we had.

Answer 4

Unrotunately after about age 3 or 4 there is no "best" age. All children deal with it differently. My children are 14 and 16. The 16 yr old has been like an independant adult for 2 years. She is relatively unnaffected. The 14 yr old is ok with the divorce, in fact is in favor of it. He has no respect for his mother because of a dirty affair. He does not want her back and wants me to get a girlfriend and have some fun...ODD! Every case is different. The important thing is that kids know that they are loved by both parents and it has nothing to do with them. Also, after a few months, have them speak with a mental health professional. However, ask around, some of these people are in the business of never gettinfg a patient completely well. Have them speak with your kids to see that all is well. Good luck.

Answer 5

if this is to try to save a marriage because of the kids, think about if you would get divorced if you didn't have kids. kids will be damaged, but think about what it would be like if they lived in a house where the parents were screaming and throwing things at each other all day. a divorce would be welcomed so they can live in a normal home, even though it may be a different home on different weekends. everyone deserves to be happy, and when you aren't your kids aren't. divorce does cause problems like behavioral problems/acting out, withdrawal from activities, and depression, but with therapy, a child can understand that they were not the cause of it and there was nothing they could do to fix it.

Answer 6

The real victims of divorce are everybody ina family, but especially the children.



it doesn't seem to matter about age. I've seen siblings as old as 20 become very angry at both parents for divorcing and actually holding grudges.



However, after that age and the very young seem to ba able to handle the divorce issue better than those between 5-20.

Answer 7

I think everybody suffers.

My parents divorced when I was around ten. They didn't tell my brother and I about it; my dad just moved out of the house. But I caught on quickly, and realized what had happened.

First it just felt different. To be honest, I don't remember how it was like when my dad still lived with us. Now it feels right with just me my brother and my mom.



I didn't blame myself though. My parents weren't vigorous arguers, but things between them had been going downhill, I realized. And I couldn't have done a thing about it.

Overall I think it in a way 'opened my eyes.' I don't think I knew what divorce meant before the incident. Now I'm more observant of myself, relationships, and a lot of things.



I lived with my mom. So I found that my relationship with my mom strengthened very greatly so I was very comfortable around her. As for my dad, it was usually an awkward state. Definitely very much less than I feel for my mom.



I think that is my greatest loss from my parent's divorcing; my loss of contact and relationship with my dad. I wish that I could be more comfortable around him, but sometimes I even hate him.



If you choose to divorce, make sure you or your spouse (which ever one is not going to live with the children) will have complete access to take the kids out and spend time with them.

I told you how I felt from a kid's perspective. ;) But it's different for each child. How mature they are, their personality, their readiness for change, and more. Judge how well you think your kids would take it by things like that.



Whoo, that was long.

I hope I helped, and good luck!

Answer 8

I only have experience with a seven year old. He does not understand. What he does understand police have to go to the house to pick him up as mom is acting ugly to dad. She wont let son help his son with homework, his grades are suffering, he's acting up in school and she keeps telling the child dad didn't pick him up and it's not dad's weekend. Bless these poor children of divorce who doesn't fully understand why dad or mom left.

Answer 9

A freedom or a precise is a state granted permission to do some thing interior a definite potential that they later set with proceedings. that's a humorous tale. All of politics is a humorous tale. Telling somebody they're allowed to be loose isn't genuine freedom and is even worse being a finished perversion of what a precise or freedom particularly is.

Answer 10

toddler- doesn't understand and things don't get bad until they are older



young kid- they tend to think it was their fault and start acting out



teens- most of them don't like it but tend to understand that it's for the best



I would say the young kid is going to be hurt the most