I was cheated by a well known doctor-scientist?

Question

I met my ex in a chat room. At first I didn’t know if he is a doctor-scientist working for a well-known university in SF. I didn’t know about his civil state. He told me his name was Dave, 36 years old and was single. We started a relationship. Two years later I discovered he was married. And his name was not Dave. Also he lied to me about his age. I forgave him.
He then confessed that he wasn’t happy with his wife. I cried a lot because I KNEW it’s wrong. I asked him to stop our relationship. He then met my parents and started taking me to see houses and lands and would divorce his wife to marry me. He said that he wanted to buy a house and move to my country after divorce. He asked me to "bare with him". He kept saying "We will buy a house, I love you (my name)" "You are the best lady" He said those to me when I found that he was married and I wanted to stop. How stupid I was!! I believed everything he said. We didn't fight. No sign of breaking up. Nothing. How would I know if he was bad? never know who to trust!!

I thought he would leave his wife like he said, but it never happened. He met a new Thai lady, a scientist, that he likes and dumped me. She is his subordinate working in the same lab. She knew and knows he is married. Also, she knows about me but she doesn’t care. He wants her and she wants him. I don't know what to do. I love him and have been waiting for him for many years. We planed to be together after his retirement. We have seen many houses and lands. He met my parents and friends.

Then he said I am not his type of lady. I’m short she is tall. She likes playing sports. Also, he wants her because she can help him with his work. He knew who I was since the first time we chatted. I was not a scientist. It took him 4 years to know who he likes. He asked me to find a new boyfriend. He asked me to wait for him too, but I feel that he would never come back to me. She is there, closer than me, and he said he couldn't stop seeing her.

I want him back so badly but do not think I still have that chance.

When he left me...I was so destroyed, I didn't know what I was going to do. It took me a long time to move on with my life. I loved him so much that all I wanted to do was to make things better. I don't know where it went wrong, but it just did. He told me he still couldn’t divorce his wife so couldn’t marry me. But recently, his new girlfriend just post on her blog that they are getting married at the end of this year.

It’s been over a year since my ex and I end. Friends tell me I should hate him because he cheated on me and end our relationship. I forgave him. So here I am with a broken heart and would like to give love another chance, but worried that feeling for him may block any chance of happiness again. 4 years is a long time to be with someone. Will I ever be whole again, will I ever find love or the company of a good man? I was in love that time and still, and got so hurt by the affair. I vowed to never do that again.

Do you think a married man will really leave his wife if he fell in love with the other woman? Will they work out in the future?
What are the statistic of a men leaving his wife for his mistress?

Answer 1

Men NEVER leave their wives for their mistresses. Occasionally the wife is smart enough to throw the cheater out, in which case he MAY end up marrying the mistress after the wife has divorced him. But that is only the next link in the chain. The mistress is now the wife, and the minute he comes across another bimbo willing to spread her legs, he will cheat on his second wife just like he did with the first one.



In your specific case, it's a shame that you wasted four years of your life on a liar. Nothing he ever said to you was sincere, as you must realise by now. So get yourself into some counselling and move on with your life. Every moment you spend dwelling on the past is more time wasted on someone who is not worth it.

Answer 2

Really?!?! This must be a joke. The other, then the other, other woman? This is stupid. Dumb and stupid. The only thing that would make it worse is if you had a two yr old in the middle of it. Why in the world would you believe that someone was going to leave their wife after leaving their mistress for a different mistress?? Yes Dear..I'll wait for you because I'm spineless and ...umm...not so bright. You'll always come back for me, so I'll sit here and stagnate until you show up with that white horse to sweep me off my feet. BLECH!

Answer 3

there were many who left their wives for mistress or fo new relationship. but in your case , he is not a person worth believing. he is cheating and will cheat in future also. please come out of this clutches and find some one who is honest loving, caring and respecting partner's feelings. all the best you'll find some one certainly.

Answer 4

you knew he was married-he cheated hes wife on you and he cheated on you on the other girl.well.Payback time .call it Karma.



lets wait for the other girl im sure he will cheat her again .



in your case.next time if you knew he is married leave him.don't second thought

cos i knew married men a few never leave his wife for the mistress.



my husband cheated on me but when i found out he leave his mistress.means shes not worth to lose his family.



that's lesson on you

Answer 5

you got to move on there is other fish in the sea he is a scum bag.