How do I avoid 'conjugal unpleasantness' with my wife?

Question

On occasion, I am required to carry out my husbandry duty and spend some 'bed time' with my wife. I try to avoid such undignified intimacy with the woman, as I prefer to simply use one of my mistresses for my depraved needs. My wife simply doesn't match them and the activity is frankly a chore with her.
What are some avoidance techniques for such sexual unpleasantness?

Answer 1

$10 says you're not even married.

Answer 2

Sir B', I thought you already had an heir. Your "husbandry" duties should be over. or are you trying for the spare now? If that's the case, then I'm afraid there is no help for you unless you wished to accept a proxy or opt for a more medically assisted solution.



Why not send her off on holiday to Thailand? I'm sure there is a "guest house" of some sort that would be glad to take her on and allow her satisfy her needs without burdening you and maybe kick back some of what she earns for them so you have a little extra gambling money.

Answer 3

If you are that unhappy then maybe you should leave your wife. That way you would be doing both you and her a favor. I mean come on she is your wife and you treat her like sh*t. She deserves so much better then you. Let her found a man who will love her and not think of having sex with her as there husbandry duty as you put it. You mine as well leave her since you are cheating on her and seem way more found of you mistress. Grow up and stop acting like a child she is your wife for christ sakes. Not just random women.

Answer 4

I say old chap, that's a bit of a do and no mistake. Damned tricky if you ask me, what the deuce is going to happen if your mistress finds out? there will be the very devil to pay. She is not going to take that lying down (pardon the pun) is she? She will be up at Bobble Mansion in a trice demanding to know from your wife what the bally hell is going on. Knowing the dragon it wouldn't surprise me if they all got on your back, Wife, Mistress and your sister Hortense. Best you make your self scarce for a few days down here at Smythe Hall.

Answer 5

Sorry, you aren't spot on. The word you were looking for is husbandly, not husbandry. Unless, of course, you plan to have an intimate relationship with the animals.



hus⋅band⋅ry   –noun 1. the cultivation and production of edible crops or of animals for food; agriculture; farming.

2. the science of raising crops or food animals.

3. careful or thrifty management; frugality, thrift, or conservation.

4. the management of domestic affairs or of resources generally



husbandly -adjective

1. befitting or characteristic of a husband

2. related to or suited to a husband; "assumed husbandly duties like mowing the lawn"

Answer 6

Perhaps sir you could buy her a vibrator or other such sex toys that are freely available on the internet.

Hope this answers your question. If I may respond to naynayw74 and see if I can also help the poor child.



naynayw74

In your last question you ask why you had been reported for giving an opinion. You need to actually ANSWER a question. That's why it's call Yahoo Answers. Making statements about spelling does not 'answer' a question.



Hope this helps.

https://answersrip.com/question/index?qid=20090116124834AA9qZEe

Answer 7

Goodness my dear, clearly some yahoo members are unaware of aristocratic marital etiquette. As a connaisseur of boudoir secrets, I have the solution. You must gird your upper class loins one last time, and perform your conjugal duty. However, you must, at some point during the unpleasant proceedings say your mother-in-law's name. Problem solved. Toodle pip.

Answer 8

Surly there are some chores for her to do around your estate at that late hour old boy, how about she mucks out the horses. This woman of yours sounds most intolerable you have my sympathy old chum, you must have the patience of a saint. Tip top.

Answer 9

Sorry, my advices only go to humans. Creatures with only animal instincts could never understand. If you decide to become one any time soon, ask the question again.

Answer 10

So my theory is that you are just a bored teenager...so I really have no advise for you...other then maybe read a book...I know this appears rude but really it's not...it is just to help you grow as a person.

Answer 11

You're not going to get out of it ! William Rufus had it put into law. If I must obey , then EVERYBODY must suffer !

Answer 12

You seem to have that down to a science. Just keep it up.

Answer 13

I don't spell for shite I do it because I am much better at it now and it doesn't smell funny when I do.

Answer 14

You are crummy.

If you don't find her attractive GET OUT OF THE RELATIONSHIP.

Jeez! Its not rocket science!!!! Go marry one of your "mistresses".

And good luck with that.

you are a dirt bag. FYI.

Answer 15

Damn, they make it harder and harder, don't they? I weep for this world, I really do.





There is only one thing worse than being dumb, and that's thinking your smart when your not.

Answer 16

she is your wife so be a man and just do it

Answer 17

Unpleasantness and husbandry duties??Dam not only a pig but you cant spell for sh*t.