what do you guys think about "mail-order" brides or russian brides?

Question

i have read accounts of cases where the marriage actually went really well, and im thinking, when im 30 or so and have a solid career, maybe i should just get a russian/eastern european bride instead of trying to date for one. what do you guys think?

Answer 1

My understanding is it is much better to go on a russian bridal tour. They fly you to Russia, there are socials where you meet ton's of women (20 to 1 women/men ratio) for one full week. A friend of mine did this and said that "the women do their best to make the best impression possible and make you want to marry her. (or words to that effect)" He goes back for these tours every year and for variety will do one in the Philippines instead. He swears it's worth every cent.



**I have children and so it's not my choice for a vacation (I like Disney World). But, my friend will never look at another vacation destination in his life. I don't know if this is the best way to get a wife (mail order), but, I do know that bridal tour vacations have made my friend a VERY happy man. It might be well worth getting married mail order if you know the woman well enough or have a prenup ; ).

Answer 2

As someone married to a Russian wife (whom I met through a "mail-order brides" service), I can tell you that the gross generalizations mentioned in the other answers are not true at all! Of course, if you approach this as you "buying" a woman and if you expect your wife to just "be submissive", it won't work out. Plus, you don't "get" a bride from Russia (like in a catalogue...); you meet several women and wait to find the right one. Alas, that is how I proceeded.



I have been married with my wife for 10 years now; I am 55, she is 30. We have two wonderful children, one of whom she had from another relationship before meeting me. I am still madly in love with her, and I believe the opposite is also true.



My wife is anything but "submissive"... She has a heck of a temper, and when she is not happy with something, out of her way! She has an opinion on everything, and most of the time we disagree and argue (it's part of our love life!) For instance, she is a registered member of the GOP, and I'm a convinced Democrat! I'd say the power in the household is split 50-50. And she insisted on getting a job (a hard one, at the minimum wage) even though my revenue was much more than enough for our family to live off very comfortably. She does her part in contributing to our revenue, and for her it is simply a matter of pride.



Since our marriage is based on LOVE, our sex life is PASSIONATE. My wife doesn't ask much of me (though I encourage her to) but eagerly plays along each of my fantasies, some of which my American ex-wife would have divorced me had I just shared them with her. She always brings me with her to buy her clothes and makes me choose those that turn me on, and regularly enquires if there is a way she could change her appearance to please me. ("Baby, I'm going to get my hair cut, what do you want me to do?") In the beginning, I felt bad about that and kept telling her everything was okay and that she did not have to do that; I thought she was doing this only because she thought she had to. One day she got seriously mad at me and said: "Look. I love you. And I do this because I want to. So stop feeling bad and play along!" I do so now, and I feel like the luckiest man on the planet.



So yes, I believe marriage to a Russian woman, IF BASED ON REAL FEELINGS, is a good and viable option. But you should change your approach.

Answer 3

Another good one Doc. Sorry "they" are so persnikity. (Captain, we have detected a strange like form with no sense of humor!) Have they no idea how many lives yours, and Pavarotti's, and even the Snow Kid's jokes have saved? I suffer from severe depression, and I know a number of other stressed out, depressed, "Gee I'd to get out of this stupid existence" people... But, for some weird reason, I hang around.... in great part... to see what insane thing you will come up with next.... They ought to give you a medal (Comrade Y|A First Class!) instead of a deletion! Hang in there Doc! A star for you and: Remember: "Vive le Hamster! Vive le Dr. Hamster Libre!" (That's the Canadian version!) The Klingon is, of course: "Humor is a dish best served cold!" (Quaplah!) Or as my uncle Fidel used to say: "Dee Doctore, he is dee Hamster, of dee people! He is Honorarie Cooban! He is dee Humore!" In Arizona, we had a saying: "The man who walks a mile in his moccasins, while reading the Witty Hamster's jokes, will have an easy mile, and a happy smile!" Someday doc, you will get an email from someone. It will have gone around the world. It will have saved 6.02*10^23 lives. The email will contain a joke, with the signature: "y/a dr debop witty hamster 2.0" It was sent to someone in Pennsylvania, and someone in California. They Fwd it. It was sent to a dozen people in Canada, they Fwd it too. One American, named George, did not Fwd it. He had a horrible war as a consequence! (Sorry!) A man in Eastern Europe got the joke, he Fwd it. He laughed. Later that day he won a $5 bet in a bar that he could tell a good joke. A man in Asia did not Fwd it. He did not recall it. He went to a bar and did not win a $5 bet. (Bummer!) (I guess you can all see where this would lead!!!) So if you get an email of one of doc's jokes, then Fwd it to a friend who needs a laugh. Then that joke will circumnavigate the world. Nothing bad will happen to you if you do not Fwd it. But one person less may laugh. Something good may happen if you Fwd it. But then again, nothing may happen! Earth awaits, the proud birth of: Dr. Bebop, Witty Hamster Extraordinaire, Ver.3! Stay tuned to this y/a channel - Hamster Fans! Quick, Robin! To the Joke Mobile! (I'm 52, give me a break, senility is approaching me at Warp 7!) In hamster years, I'm older than Yoda! And remember Luke... The Laughter of the Hamster is with you always!

Answer 4

Every single one of the 3 guys I know who had a mail order bride had a variation of the exact same thing happen. She got here, immediately got pregnant, 2 years later when her paperwork was final, she claimed he hit her or the kid or both and then took him for child support, alimony and 50% of his life. One of them actually filed a false police report that was later thrown out for lack of evidence.





I would reccomend you not choose a wife who is marrying for a green card.

Answer 5

well, you are more like paying for a mail order maid, but you are expecting this maid to put out. as long as you adjust your expectation, you should do fine. as with most purchases, your mileage and experience may be different than other shoppers.

Answer 6

If you want a woman to be with you for the opportunity of a better life for herself and her family most of the time, go for it.

Answer 7

well you realize you'll be buying a woman right?

so you realize what caliper of character she has being so desperate right?

you wont end up with anyone of intergrity

and that will matter as time goes by.

100% are gold diggers.

Answer 8

my uncle married a mail order girl from russia, it was a disaster, she was completly gorgeous, and a dang good cook and house wife, but she was really young and about a year in she got into a bunch of trouble, stole a bunch of money, started doing drugs, my uncle divorced her and she got deported immediatly, my uncle got into a bunch of trouble to for his dealings with bringing her here to marry her... he still says it was worth it, she blew his mind for the good year they had, but he's still paying for it.

Answer 9

No, no, no...a friend of ours did not heed this advice and then shelled out a few thousand dollars before realizing he was being taken...

Answer 10

I think you should try Eharmony before trying that.

Answer 11

they give good head