I am married 6 months now and hardly spent any time with my husband...?

Question

got married months back. and i have hardly spent any time alone with my husband.
first there was the wedding ceremonies... then meeting the relatives in various cities ...then we had no honey moon...after that my husband immediately had to get back to work and we started our life at his parents home with my inlaws .. he came back from work never before 9 and then everyone is around us...one month later he was send on project to another city the stay was supposed to be for 10 days which was extended to 3 weeks like this the first 3 month of our marriage passed. next he got an offer to a project abroad which he accepted and came back from his national project home and went off to europe the day after so we had only 2 days and one night inbetween and he prefereed to go out with his male friends for dinner rather than sepnding this one night we have with me ( i was all amd that time) now this new project was supposed to be for 3 months and now extended to 6 months...
i have been more daughter in law than a wife... more over he is still into his memories with his ex which makes me furious and jealous
for all who did not read me i have another question open still at the same category

Answer 1

This is a really tough question. I had a similar situation with my ex-wife. I'm a very active person, always busy with a lot of different projects and jobs, in addition to going to work every day. She's very much a homebody who prefers hanging out at home over going out and doing stuff.



We got married after a pretty brief courtship, and I had a number of projects that had to get taken care of in the months following the wedding, so we also weren't able to take a honeymoon, and I had to be out of the house more than she would have liked. She made it very clear to me that she wanted to have me around more, so I made some compromises and cut back on/modified my activities so that I could be at home more often.



One thing I tried to do, and that I would encourage you to do, is to be more involved in each other's activities. I tried to get my wife to take an interest in and be involved in my projects, but she just saw them as a threat and didn't want to make the effort. It seems to me that your husband's work is very important to him and that he finds it very fulfilling. Have you thought about going with him on one of his trips abroad or out of town? If he's going to be in some other city for 3 weeks, why not take some vacation time and spend a few days with him? It would be a great opportunity to spend some time alone together (and to get away from your in-laws!)



Another idea: why don't you and your husband have your own place? The idea of living with my spouse's parents is revolting to me. You should have a place of your own that is your sanctuary away from the world. You didn't indicate whether you work or not, but based on your description of your husband's work, I'm guessing he's making pretty good money. Move out!



In the end, you need to make sure you're not just turning yourself into a victim and letting people take advantage of you. Have you tried to change the situation? Have you talked to your husband about this and made him aware of how stressful this is for you and how you really want to see more of him? Make sure, though, that you don't twist it into an attack on him and his schedule, but rather make sure he knows how much you love him and miss him. Start a dialogue.

Answer 2

First look into being able to travel with him on this job, or at least able to go for a week end from time to time. Also I would insist on having your own home. It sound like he makes good money so I would insist on having your own home, not shared with his parents. Are you working? If not get a job or volunteer somewhere. You need something to keep you busy as well.

Answer 3

i wud suggest u to go be lil proactive....if knw when he's coming u urself make a plan to go out for dinner..then u have all the time to speak ur mind to him....after the dinner when u come back make sure u go ahain for lit walk...so like this u'll get cls to him...n remember women has a key to tame any man..if u give him some hints that u want to be with him...i'm sure he'll show somw interest in u.....rather than wasting ur time to wait for his approval go ahead and dont give him the time to even think of his male or ex female frns...all the very best..

Answer 4

Well it seems like you got married before you really knew this person. Six months is a little soon to be regretting getting married, maybe you should seek some kind of couples counseling, at the very least talk to him about it.

Answer 5

I feel for you, I know you must be going through a rough time. You need to talk to him and tell him how you feel. Tell him that he needs to spend as much time with you as possible so you wont get lonely. Don't keep things bottled up inside cause that will make things worse. Tell him exactly how you feel and tell him what you except out of him as a husband. Good luck to ya.

Answer 6

Did this change from when you were dating? If he was always this busy then why did you marry him? If he is still into his ex-wife then why did you marry him? Sounds like a doomed relationship from the start. Good luck. He is obviously not that interested in his new bride.

Answer 7

i can see your point but you do have the rest of your life to get to know him better...

just because he is away doesn't mean you can't be a wife!

what do you think about wifes of miltary men! who get sent over seas!

i'm sure they feel not 1st!

I would work on your jealousy issues while he is gone! it's not a pretty trait!

and most important!

TALK TO HIM! LET HIM KNOW HOW YOU FEEL!

or file now! :)

Answer 8

Do you sleep in the same bed at night? just because you live with your in-laws doesn't mean you can't get alone time. Make the time or your marriage will go down hill fast.

Answer 9

wow seems as though you might have married someone who isn't really ready to be married yet try talking to him and if you still feel this way see about getting an annulment everyone deserves to be happy

Answer 10

Time apart is key to a successful marriage! Otherwise you'll get to know each other too well and you'll get sick of each other. You're married till death, so take your time!

Answer 11

Thats more dangerous he has ex gf

Answer 12

he is still with his bygone memories , knowing why at all you married him.

Answer 13

welcome to marriage!

Answer 14

Welcome to the Club.