How do you know when your marriage is over? Is is time to throw in the towel and leave?

Question

We been together since 1981. Used to talk about everything. And Now Nothing. I have a hard time even being in the same room with him these days. He was just diagnosed with Anger Outburst Disorder. It is the same Catagory as Intermittent Explosive Disorder. Where he has No reason But explodes and I am usually the receiving person. His last outburst was 3/4/2011. We had went out and ate dinner. Was laughing and messing around having a good time. We had came home and were fine. And he went in the other room I got up to go play a game on the computer he was watching a TV show I did not want to watch. And he came in the Room and Exploded. I still do NOT know what I done, What I said. Have no Idea what happened. He came charging across the room and swung at me. If I would not have leaned back he would have hit me with his fist. I have gotten to the point I am scared to death of him. He went to a doctor on tuesday and they put him on Alprazolam 2 times a day. And now he is just the opposite. He laughs at everything including things that are serious.He is a truck driver where he pick up medical waste and He got in trouble for a log book Violation at work on Monday and could be cause for him loosing his job. And his boss called him Monday night and told him to return the Call well his day off in Tuesday so he did not call until Wednesday and he told his Boss to get off his ***. If he was not always riding his *** over overtime and other things then he would not have made this mistake. And he said that he told his boss if he could do the Damn Job any better then to Fire his ***. He got a call from a co worker last night and said they are coming to do his route Friday. Now I am really worried. Because I am unable to work because poor health. So if he looses his job we're are screwed. He usually calls 2 or 3 times a day and for the past week he does not call at all. I know there have been other women in the past. I am finding strange numbers on his cell phone bill. I have thought about calling them. But just afraid it will cause another blow up and me getting hurt this time.

Answer 1

just walk out da mn

Answer 2

Other Women In The Past/ Seems Like Your time Spent With your head in the Sand Would be Better spent consulting A Lawyer,If he loses his job Your Screwed? What Has HIS job Got To Do With Anything?You Could Try Counseling,If your Tight on Money,The united Way Or your local Church Can Help Free of Charge,Biting Your Tongues Isn't going Fix This,If He Doesn't Agree To counseling,Pack Him Up And Kick Him Out,If Your To Scared to Ask him To Go,Pack YOURSELF Up And Hit the road.

Answer 3

Your husband has a problem and there is nothing you can do to help...you are too close to it...so you need to seek legal advice...ask for a separation hearing so he will know he has to move out and pay you alimony until you are able to support yourself...and if that cannot happen..ie you cannot get well enough to work...he will have to continue to support you....if he wants to reconcile with you..he is going to have to get some Professional help and be able to prove to you that he has changed and gotten the problem under control...and that he will never threaten you again or you will have the authoritiies all over him...and the marriage will be over for good...You need to tell him via your lawyer that no one wants or needs to feel threatened in their existence...and you are not going to tolerate it....If nothing else...he will get the help and come to grips with this anger disorder...and life will be better for both of you...Hope this helps...

Answer 4

You are free to do as you wish. But, as for me, my marriage vows said, "for better or for worse." Therefore, I wouldn’t walk out on my man at such a rough time in our lives. Going through medical or psychological issues is tough. Being on medication that can have some negative side affects is tough. Being stressed out by work or losing one's job is tough. You're upset that he's going through all of these things when maybe you could be trying to find ways to help him though this difficult time. You've been married for 20 years, so that leads me to believe that there have been good times in your marriage in the past. Take an evening with him to go through some pictures or scrapbooks and laugh at good times you have had. Tell him you're having a hard time with the situation (your marriage) right now, but that you want things to be good and to work out. Ask him what you can do to help him.



However, if he continues to be violent, go somewhere safe. There is no need to put yourself in danger simply because you are married to him. See if he will get counseling with you and if you can work things out before simply giving up.



I wish you the best and hope everything works out for you.

Answer 5

It's time. Do whatever you need to do to protect yourself. This is who he is. He is not going to change until he decides he wants to change. It's not going to get any better from here.

Answer 6

If you are afraid of him you already know the answer! Who wants to remain married to someone they are afraid of and who is verbally, mentally and physically abusive!

Answer 7

when you come home and she is in bed with another guy (or woman) if she's that type.