Exhusband vs new husband - need to be in love with new husband?

Question

Background: Was with ex for 10 years (6 married). First 5 I never cheated. Last five I cheated everytime he did something to upset me (like allow his parents to make decisions for us). I figured out that he would treat me better if he suspected I was cheating (so yes I did it for attention). I divorced him when I found out he sunk us into bankruptcy. We have two kids together. We continued a sexual relationship after the divorce.

I'm remarried. Great guy I'm married to. I'm pregnant with new husband. I don't feel like I truly belong to my new husband. I feel like the ex still has a hold on me. Ex knows this and definetley uses it to his advantage to try to have relations with me (if I told him I wanted him back he would drop his dating life in a heartbeat).

Problem: I want to be completely in love with new husband. He is so much better for me and my kids (he worries about how he will pay for their college whereas the ex just got evicted from his house). Right now I love him as a friend and sometimes I feel really in love with him as a soul mate. My ex I can't stand but feel "eternally linked" to him.

Answer 1

You MUST only deal with your ex regarding the children you have with him. If its not related to the child's situation, then there is no other kind of "small talk" with him.



Maybe it would be best that you are NOT alone with your ex (have your husband or someone else with you).



Your husband now deserves 100% of you - remember that and put all your efforts into your husband - not in your ex.

Answer 2

You need to go cold turkey. No contact whatsoever with the ex, most especially no physical contact and no emotional contact. You are playing a very dangerous game and it will come back to bite you on the backside. You absolutely must not have any contact with him whatsoever without your husband or someone else being present. Do not have personal conversations with him by phone or text or email. If there is contact necessary between the two of you regarding visitation or some aspect of the children's lives, make it short and to the point. You are being extremely foolish and you are going to pay an ugly price if you don't get yourself straight on this issue.

Answer 3

You are thinking the wrong way! You have a man that loves you and wants a wonderful life with you. Now you want your ex and treat your husband like crap! You are a player and he deserves a better woman who will appreciate a faithful woman and if your ex takes you back don't cry when you are cheated and beaten by the ex. Don't expect this nice man that wants you to take you back when he knows what a player you are!

Answer 4

It's natural that you keep thinking of the person you spent time with.... even if you keep a pet you feel love with it, you new husband supports you and your kids.... the major reason that you miss him might be the sexual relation you both had in between you new husband might be as not pleasure full as he was... think over it it also happened with me when i changed my girl friend but then i realized that it was due to my sexual desires so console with you new husband about your desires.... hope it'd help!

Answer 5

Grow up.Do not just rely on your "feelings" and "emotions".



You are a mother and every decision that you make will effect your children's life. Your gift to your children would be stability on your side.



You may be "eternity link" to your husband but right now you have to be fair and just to your new husband who loves you and he is trying his best to be a good husband and provider to your kids.



It is exhilarating to know that your ex would drop his new girlfriend in a heart beat but is that a mature thing to do to another person? Who 's life are we playing?



You are having another baby with your new husband and you can have a great life. Please dont spoil this for you or your children.

Answer 6

You will always be linked to him, but that doesn't mean you can't start a wonderful new life with your new husband. I think you should cut ties as much as possible with your ex (a part from children issues of course) and start planning an exciting future with your new man.

Answer 7

Try reading the book, "How to break your addiction to a person." This man is toxic to you and your new relationship. It was going to work you wouldn't be split up now. You need to make conscious decisions to avoid this person and to not feed this situation. When your husband finds out about your feelings and your conversations with your ex he will be very hurt. You may lose him. Is it worth it?

Answer 8

Bad Boy Romance Anime?

Answer 9

Wow really intersesting you have a lot on your hands. i can totally relate to how you feel and everything and i think that life has its time when it makes you feel like you want to go back in time an have what you had before. You made a good choice of moving on with your life and marrying someone else.



Its really weird how things turn out to be sometime but ahead theres a good blessing in whats meant to be

Answer 10

I know that eternally linked thing.

Luckily the heart has many avenues.





You gave an oath to your new husband to love him.

Honor that solemn vow you gave.

Concentrate on making your new life better.



Dont cheat people. You cheat yourself out of what is real.

Answer 11

Try as much sex with new husband .. even if you don't feel like wanting



Seduce him for sex all the time, twice, thrice a day

Answer 12

well you did take the vow to love him forever so legitimately your not breaking it but with your new hubby he deserves a better chance than the one you are giving him i would best say move away stay away from except to let him see the kids honestly you probably deserve to feel how you feel for cheating on your ex then leaving him when he fell on hard times but that is the best advice i can give take it or leave it

Answer 13

get counseling he treated you badly he bank erupt you you are re married get way from x husband so you can enjoy your life with new husband you made vows keep them and move on with your new husband get as far WAY from x husband get your head out of your *** girl what the hell !!!!!!!!

Answer 14

What is the song that has: if today was your last day...?

Answer 15

Guys: Could you ignore a girl that you love?

Answer 16

Help me how to give my husband more then one orgasm?