Please judge my views.....Thanks in advance?

Question

I want each one of you who reads this Q to answer it. It helps me to understand the human mind better.
please read,

A girl has just had an arranged marriage. there is a close fren (boy) of her's who was her best friend for 5 years. He had confessed his romantic feelings for her before her marriage, but she told him to remain as only friends- nothing more than that. But after her marriage she is avoiding him completely, she is not even showing signs that she is his friend anymore. He congratulated her on her wedding, he wished her and her husband a happy new year-- everything what a normal fren would so. (He isnt acting clingy anyway. he contacts through sms'es after a span of 3 weeks gap). So, the guy ends up getting confused that what is wrong with his friend.
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Now the plot on ''why does she avoid him''---
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1) she avoids him coz she fears he might have feelings for her---->
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(point::: he might have feelings, so what? She doesnt have feelings. And if she doesnt have feelings for him, it doesnt matter who in the world has feelings for her. If i say u r a donkey, u dont turn into one)
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2) she avoids him coz she fears SHE has feelings for him and she wants to suppress it coz she now married to another guy - husband, family responsibilities.

(point::: even if the friend doesnt have feelings also, then being in contact to a person whom u love will make her life hard- she wont be able to love her husband (which is every lady's dream)
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3) also, someone told me to add this also. She has respect for her new husband and now wants to keep out of complicated matters. She doesnt want to be any frens with the guy anymore.
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(point:: if this had been the case, why doesnt she say it out?
When I proposed her, she could reject me by SAYING ''NO'. Now when i am trying to remain as only friends (which she herself asked for), she can reject it by saying she cannot be friends with anyone who has feelings for her. She loves the husband, she knows that I am a jerk who is trying to spoil her new life-- so whats stopping her to end it? Put yourself in her shoes and react)

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Am i judging correct? Which option would u go for?
Add ur options. And plz no advices.
Thanks

Answer 1

maybe her arranged marriage has also arranged her future.she may be calling you up in a few months when her new hubby starts something he stopped just to impress her.She may slip around and make you her boytoy

Answer 2

Actually, its probably a combo of all those reasons..

She's trying to get her marriage off on a good start and having a guy, who once proposed to her, as a friend, doesnt fit into the the marriage.



Its not unusual, for a girl or guy either to drop all friends from the opposite gender after they get married. Esp ones that had feelings for you--its just too much complication.

Being in an arranged marriage in the first place, has to be awkward, at best. Personally, I don't get how anyone can do that. So, focusing on each other is what they are doing, evidently.

Answer 3

She is trying to give the marriage a chance. someone has probably advised her to stay out of contact with you b/c you may ruin or complicate things. # 3 seems like the closest description of maybe what she's thinking.



She may also not want to hurt you so she wont say anything harsh to you & she wont tell you to leave her alone. She may also not say anything b/c she doesnt want to immediately burn a bridge she may consider crossing in future...but if its an arranged marriage, then i dont know if divorce would ever even be an option for her.



She may ignore you perhaps she's annoyed with you & wants you to take a hint in her silence & stop contacting her. she is now married....And i know it doesnt seem fair to you b/c you were there first....But you may have to leave this girl alone.

Answer 4

Pritam... I am not wrong this time dear, and I should tell you one thing, PLEASE STOP FOOLING AROUND!!



Why are you writing all this?? I remember having posted an answer to your question here:

https://answersrip.com/question/index?qid=20120125040926AAqSl4Q



And then you asked the question being the husband of this girl. Today you post something being the girl's boyfriend?? What are you upto?? Why do you wana be someone who you are not? Be honest. People are helping you anyways, isn't it??



I know you might be thinking about deleting this post, but please do not. Atleast people should know that you have posting something just for the heck of it and not meaning it for help. This is not right.

You are posting this being this girl's BF, since I remember a guy posted an answer saying that you shouldn't write something personal here like this, as this might affect your relationship with your wife. So you changed the relationship and become her BF??



How can this change anyone's point of view about you?? Just to gain something good for yourself and bad for the girl?? Firstly, an earnest request, please understand the girl (wife/GF) and then understand what you are, then finally post it.



All the best!!!



(P.S. do not delete your previous post as well.. please!)

Answer 5

I would choose the 3rd option. It is probably difficult to stay friends with a man. Maybe her husband would object to it for fear of her having an affair some time in the future.

Answer 6

It capacity I could attempt my terrific to comprehend; because of the fact i'm able to decide not something i don't comprehend. now and returned I try this properly and that's a triumph for the two one persons. now and returned I try this properly and that's something I want i did not see. now and returned I try this poorly and that's a humorous 'fact'. now and returned I try this poorly and make an @ss of myself. yet i'm continually keen to evaluate an attraction. it relatively is an identical technique I project myself to - and attempt to decide the judgment surpassed on me besides. Going to heaven or hell does not relax interior of my judgment no be counted what I go with approximately something for others - i'm not even specific that it concerns how I decide myself. this is God's determination. MY judgments I question - I have faith God's judgments.

Answer 7

arranged marriages are for money.. Not love.. Thats the problem with the eastern ways.. Dont work..