Ok another porn question!!!! Mature Only!!!?

Question

I was on my husbands computer and noticed he had been looking at interracial gangbang cuckold sites!!!! wtf!!! He promised no more porn and when he breaks that promise it's always stuff that makes me want to throw up!! I don't know how to approach him about this....I was snooping!!! I have good reason to!! Don't judge me for snooping the more important issue is.....Why would he want to look at that ****?

Answer 1

who knows why they look at that crap!! the only thing i can think of is maybe he searched for porn and just came across that. im sure they browse around. i hate porn and ive had problems with my husband in the past. i got rid of our computer because of it. we decided to get another co0mputer...and of course he swore he wouldnt do it. i woke up oine morning and caught him on the computer looking at porn. it hurts because he cant respect my feelings. if he told me not to go on a certain site because it would really bother him, i wouldnt do it. i dont care what other people say about the woman being insecure blah blah blah. im not insecure....im happy in my body and it all has to do with respect..period!!! it actually makes me ill!! so i cant say why he would be looking up that particular type of filth....but he shouldnt be looking at any of it. its a shame that men have to be so self centered and uncaring. its very simple....if they cared they wouldnt do it!!

Answer 2

I'm a firm believer in the fact that if you snoop and find something..then you had every reason to snoop. So their "right to privacy" is a moot point meant to deflect their wrong doing on to you. Privacy is not something that should be used to hide things that are hurtful to your spouse especially if you both agree they are morally offensive. He broke a promise and was disrespectful to you. Although I don't bug out over porn, I would have a problem too if the stuff he is looking at is not just your normal stuff. It would make me question a lot of things about him, his interests, and what turns him on. The real issue is the lack of honesty, betrayal of trust and lack of communication between you both. He broke a promise and I would ask him why? If he really has such a need to view this stuff that it overrides how badly it makes you feel, and that he can't stop even when he has promised you..then it's an addiction and that's a whole other story. You can put blockers on the computers if that makes you feel better. He might agree to that but you need to have the password not him. It still may not stop him from finding that stuff but it cuts down on its accessibility. Good luck.

Answer 3

2

Answer 4

He may be curious or has a porn problem. He may want to stop but keeps getting drawn back in. Put an internet filter on your computer so that stuff is blocked and talk to him about stopping the porn because it is hurting your relationship. If he loves you then he will stop. He may need to see a counselor to talk about his repeated behavior and stop the porn. Also maybe get some counseling yourself to deal with the pain of him looking at stuff like that. If you both love each other you can and will work it out it just sometimes takes awhile. Also have more sex with him. It sounds crazy but if you are having more sex I can pretty much bet that looking at porn will go down to next to nothing.

Answer 5

Pornography has no place in a committed relationship. There are serious issues in a relationship where one (or both) partner(s) intentionally seek sexual satisfaction from another person. I know once I start fantasizing about other men it is time to move on. I am being disrespectful and disloyal to my significant other.

The fact that he watches it with the kids around is unacceptable. I'd get a restraining order because of it and kick his behind out. I don't see how you could move past this successfully. What do you want from a little boy who is so immature? Find a real man with real values, someone you can admire - and not detest.

Answer 6

I know it is bad to answer a question with a question but I'm sorry logic has to come from the source. If he is looking and still happy with you why are you worried? Are you so insecure with your marriage that you have to snoop instead of just talking to him about it? Personally I let my husband watch any type of porn he wants because there are some things I'm just not willing to do and if it excites him then so be it. I would rather he get it on the internet than from someone else.

Just my opinion.

Momma_Bear

Answer 7

First off, we all have fantasies. Some our a little more out there than others. You might immediately want to judge him for this and why not? Its obviously something that freaks you out. For him, it was a lot easier to look it up online then to ask you about it or admit to you what sort of things really turn him on. Maybe you could talk to him about it and share a fantasy of your own and also maybe discuss what you two could do as a couple to keep him from viewing this type of material. Make sure to tell him it freaks you out as well. Although I don't condone snooping, sometimes women's intuition takes hold and you simply must. Maybe next time distract yourself from doing so or you will most likely see something you wish you had not.

Answer 8

Are you a troll? If so, then try a little subtlety.



In case you are a real person, then I think that you need to talk to your husband. He obviously has fantasies that he doesn't feel comfortable sharing with you, which means that you have some serious problems going on in your relationship. I think that the two of you need to try to reconnect emotionally, mentally, and physically. You don't have to do what he sees on the internet, but you should at least be willing to listen to him & accept that sometimes he likes looking at stuff on the internet that you don't. This doesn't mean that he actually wants to *do* that stuff, but it means that he may like watching it.



Besides, porn is natural. Did you know that ancient cavemen drew porn on cave walls? It existed even back then. The more that you try to outlaw porn, the more your husband is going to crave it. You probably look at porn as well, but don't realize it. Romance novels, movies, soap operas... stuff like that is considered porn for women because they have strong sexual content in them. Why not try to find a happy medium for the both of you? I think that you'll find that it may smooth things out in your marraige greatly.

Answer 9

Porn for some people really turns them on, while for others it's to give ideas on what to do in the bedroom. I think there really isn't a best way to approach the subject other then to sit him down & say in a serious manner that it really bothers you that he is looking at porn. After you have you say in return ask him what his thoughts are and just listen to what he has to say without interrupting him. Then just go from there...

Answer 10

looking at pornography is an addiction in the same way as drug use and is often much harder to break away from than from drugs.



the reason he looks at things like this is because it is sexually stimulating and he has to expend no effort, time or commitment to a real relationship.



he considers it stress relief.



this is also a viable form of mental and emotional adultery. because he has no responsibility to YOU when he looks at and masturbates to these images, he has no need to develop a real and sustainable relationship to you or the family.



for a lot of people, the idea of viewing pornography is repugnant because it means that they are seeking their satisfaction from outside the marriage.



encourage him to join you in counseling.



there are a few things that you can do right now to try and help the circumstance:



put the computer in the most well used room in the house.



no computer use when both of you are not home/in the same room



time the use of the computer to prevent unnecessary trolling



seek counseling to develop the relationship in your marriage

Answer 11

Talk to him about this matter getting angry at him will not solve the problem eventually there are chances that he will again try to watch these things. Tell him about how you feel when he is doing such things if he cares about you he will understand. But the most important thing is to try to explain to him again and again how he makes you sad when he is doing this thing forgive him when ever you find out hes doing this thing and again as i said talk to him just dont get angry



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Answer 12

When someone is promising one thing and doing another, that's a problem. If he had to promise you no more porn, something tells me that porn is a problem in your marriage. Whether all these other people think porn is ok is irrelevant. The content is irrelevant. Here's a website that you might find helpful:



http://www.pornaddicthubby.com/



Read it and decide for yourself.

Answer 13

well im not married but i am in a relationship with a man who is in to porn, big girl porn and he's like a porn dictionary. i mean i dont really trip. I see it as not cheatin, its just what it is, adult entrainment. I mean you could take it as an Attack on your sexual ability or the way i look. But i dont it he with me and your husband married you so they got like it. learn from it do what they do (with in reason) But he's guy , porn was like their first sexual experience. in my opinion its normal and okay in moderation. As long as he;s not a porn addict( needs it at all times) then its coo.my question to you is, whats your prob with it? you dont like him to watch it at all, not to much , with out you or what? i mean as a wife you should want to please your husbands need, be more opened minded sounds like you to uptight about the situation. you shouldnt be insecure, jealous, or disgusted at his interested in porn.If anything is somethin the both of you can enjoy, watch one together, make one together , is interesting and is somethin some people do to spice up there relationship.By you banning him from watching it , your making him keep secrets from you about something he enjoys, your locking yourself out of another part of his life.However if you feel strongly about being against porn , thats something you to obviously disagree aboutt and should agree to disagree,, my advice is , if you cant beat um join um. lol its fun .

Answer 14

He may have an addiction to it... Have you tried asking him what he gets out of it... Either way, if you let him know that you snooped he will get very mad and defensive!! Been there done that, haha... but sometimes us wives have to!!



Good luck

Answer 15

seriously now......who cares? if he wants to watch midget corn wrestling,,,,does it really matter as long as he brings home the sausage to you? It's not like he's going out for a lap dance or something. Try enjoying some porn with him instead of making him hide it from you. you might like the excitement.



EDIT: So, let me get this straight. it's ok if you watch porn, but not ok for him? And it is not disrespectful to your partner if they aren't up tight about it...as you are. It does seem your guy has a lying issue though...

Answer 16

First of all, all guys look at porn. If they say they don't, then they are guys that look at porn and are liars too.



The fact he views a specific type of porn indicates that is "his thing or fantasy". Pedophiles look at child porn. Some guys dig heavy/fat girls, blondes, redheads, etc. Follow me?



Just ask him about it, and see what's up. If it's just fantasy, then you work it out the best for your particular situation. If it's real desire, then..................??????????????

Answer 17

It is in his nature to watch porn. If you don't want to accept this about him then you need to get a divorce.

Answer 18

So you watch enough and know enough about it to describe it this good huh? Seems you might just need to watch more with him so you can see what really turns him on and he can see what does you.



rd

Answer 19

Sounds like your husband has a problem.

Just like alcohol or drugs.

There is help.

www.saa-recovery.org/ - 13k

Found this on google.

You should contact them first so that you understand the issue.

Maybe he don't have a problem, maybe he is just a freak????

Either way, you deserve better.

Your not wrong to snoop he is wrong for being a liar and sneak.

Answer 20

You have every damn reason in the world to be mad. I can't stand a man that has to be so obsessed with porn. I mean, come the f*ck on. I can understand if you're single, but when you have a woman, you should be too satisfied to look at that nasty sh*t. If he told you he would stop, he should have stopped. I would confront him about it.

Answer 21

Interracial porn is exempt.

Answer 22

...because he is a man and you are a nag. So he hides and watches it in secret rather than deal with your nagging.



Get over it, it's not like he is cheating...all men watch porn. Just live with it and stop pushing him away from you or he will find another female who will let him come over and watch it peacefully. Would you rather he did that?



If you let him watch his porn peacefully, there will be no reason to snoop. Maybe you can even let yourself go and watch a few with him...you might like it if you just relax. JEEZZZZZ!

Answer 23

thats pre nasty

i completely agree with you

if you feel like you cant trust him the natural response is to snoop

and finding that sh*# only confirms your suspicion

he lied to you

so what are you going to do about it?

he could be addicted, in which case he needs therapy

let him know if he doesnt stop you cant be with him (im assuming)

i would have done the exact same thing



best answer?

Answer 24

lmao, because he sucks at finding good porn and that stuff comes up as pop ups on crap porn sites.



Either that or he's really into it, if you see hot white tan lesbian model looking girls then thats normal and he probably got pop ups of midget sex.

Answer 25

He was probably just bored...:/ but a lot of people, believe it or not, get addicted to such sites.

Answer 26

Bottom line is that there are trust issues in your marriage.

Answer 27

Well maybe it's partially your fault for not having a healthy sex life, but if I was you I would just tell him exactly how you feel about the issue without totally freaking out. Just ask him why he does it and why he broke his promise. It shouldn't be too hard, and if he freaks out then screw him.

Answer 28

i think most men like it, better you accept that he does this and join him/use it to initiate sex =better than him doing it alone?

Answer 29

I caught my husband once 2 years ago, right after we got married. I was really pissed off and told him he couldn't do it anymore. I check every now and then to make sure he's not...You should trust, but validate, so don't feel bad about it.



However, that is really very weird, and you should definitely confront him about it.

Answer 30

Maybe it's what really turns him on, but you're too self righteous to care!

Answer 31

goes to show the more you nag at him about it the worse he will get.

Answer 32

Hey, variety is the spice of life, right?

Answer 33

you cant stop someone from looking at porn. dont you know that? he's a healthy male. you'd better accept that he's only looking at porn. there are alot worse things he could be doing. talk about mature. geez.

Answer 34

A lot of men like porn (some women like it too), I will never understand why so many women get so worked up about it, it has nothing to do with you.

Answer 35

he would love to see you with a black man. common fantasy with men and women. talk to him about it.

Answer 36

Porn is sexy. Yup.

Answer 37

A little odd, although, why does this stuff even exist? online!

Answer 38

There is no such thing as "snooping" when you are married......you can go through ANYTHING you want.....same with your husband.......

Answer 39

so are you going to leave him or what? i mean what can you do he's already gone to the sites uuummm take away the computer?

Answer 40

i don't know why anyone would want to look at that, ask him

Answer 41

all guys look at porn. don't be a nag about it.

Answer 42

"Don't judge me when I do something wrong! Judge HIM!"

Answer 43

maybe because its better to look at than you.

Answer 44

what's wrong with watching porn?!?!?