My wife has been texting and calling a guy from work?

Question

So last night i was looking at are phone bill and found that my wife has been texting a guy from her work and calling him also. The texts are ever single day from before work to lunch time to after work all the way up to midnight some nights. Theres over a 1000 texts in the past 30 days alone. Now i dont know whats on them because my wife deletes all of her recent calls and texts all the time. Ive tryed to talk to her about it, and just let her know how it looks in my eyes. But she just says its a habit from her work. She works at (NSA) if that matters. So i dont know whats on the texts but i just feel its very strange to text some one that much. Theres even times on there when i have called her to talk and she couldnt talk but yet she has text and phone calls with this guy at the same time. She never leaves her phone any where alone in the house or car ect.So i couldnt look at it if i wanted to. I feel like a peace of crap thinking these things but i cant help it and i need help. please help me....

Last thing, she tells me hes just a friend and they just text things like hi and things. Im going to talk to her today when she gets home so any help would be great!

Answer 1

Tell her this man is interfering with your marriage and the 'friendship' needs to stop. She needs to make a decision either to continue being married to you and work on the marriage or . . . continue her emotional affair with the work husband . . .and let you go



Seriously, I MEAN SERIOUSLY 1,000 messages (that's over 30 a day) - just friends? not possible

Answer 2

1

Answer 3

I would ask her IF these are "innocent calls", WHY does she feel the need to delete them. She knows you know all about them, so why not bring it ALL out in the open. I'd also mention the fact she seems to be so extra "over protective" of her phone & why wouldn't you begin to wonder IF anything other than just work it going on. Tell her you know if the tables were turned, she'd also have questions running thru her mind too, so you're no different than she would be. Something just doesn't seem/sound rite about this whole scenario & I'd try my best to get to the bottom of it once & for all. You DO deserve to know the truth!...WHY would you keep texting a "common co worker" just a "hi, how are you doing" type message when you work rite with them & see them on a daily basis. I believe she has some "explaining" to do, you do deserve to know ALL about it...I wish you the best...:)

Answer 4

Many a times I said this, but this time its sad to tell a MAN again...no MAN and WOMAN can be just a platonic friend...all her activities are making her very suspicious...relation of ur wife with the GUY is not normal, u have to stop it...she is definitely involved, worse he is from her work place where they can be in touch for all the time...if she is not doing anything wrong, then why she is hiding the texts and phone...something is cooking around, u have to stop it at once...but without any proof, u will end up in any critical condition so first, take services of a good detective service...collect proofs then initiate the next step...even if u file a divorce suit, u wont get any photographs later on as they will be very cautious by that time so collect proofs now only...

Answer 5

be straight up dude.

Tell her if she shows you the text you wouldn't feel that way but with her hiding it your marking her off as untrusting and possible cheating.

She is your wife. She shouldn't be hiding things from tyou like that. More so if you brought it up.



i know it has to be hard with all the crazy thoughts and i'm not big on forced choices but I would highly thinking about saying this to her.

I hate to make you pick something liek this because I do love you. But I can't love you if your cheating on me and you have yet to proof me like wise I stated my conserns and you have done nothing to reasurre me that your not. There for we are going down to the phone comapny and asking for a print out of the text messages if she don't come with you your going to elave her.



hard to say hard to type harder to even do. you deserve someone who will be honest with you and help reasurre you that there is no cheating.



I look at my life as an example if my husband said something like that to me and I was not cheating I would be all for showing him my text and letting him call the number..



Some more options

call the number on the bill and ask the dude.

or talk to her again and ask to see her phone.

she sound soo guilty i'm soo sorry for you.

Answer 6

This seems to be a problem with many couples. The problem with cell phones and texting is that it gives you total freedom to “cheat” be it the emotional cheater, mental cheater or the physical cheater. Every couple has had this problem and it will not go away unless you take control of your marriage and depend to see her cell phone and the records. No job requires you to stay in contact that much. Please know that she has a relationship with her co-worker which is no doubt unprofessional but he has taken your place and she isn’t fight to get it back. Ok, this is a problem that can be worked out because this guy can get your wife fired! Her count print out her texts and put them on face book, etc…you are walking on a land mind here and your wife needs to wake-up and smell the coffee…ask yourself this, if you were erasing all your texts, in and out going calls what would your wife think? Your suspense are right but what are you willing to do to end it? Walk out on her and see what she does? Depend that she proves herself? Or call her supervisor to let them know that you are suffering in your marriage do to her job…tell her those things and see what she does…you are right but you need to do something to let her know that the marriage is over if she doesn’t change…it seems she has a strong bond with this person….sorry but at least you will know the truth, don’t you think you deserve to be with someone that will be open and honest and loves only you? Maybe she isn’t the one for you…

Answer 7

Sounds like her texting is obsessive. That is way to much texting for it to be a friendship. Ask her if this is a friendship then why don't you text me as much or more since I am your husband. I would say if you have nothing to hide then why would you erase the texts. It just all seems very suspicious and adds up to there is something more going on. Good luck and I hope that I am wrong.

Answer 8

Surely there is something outright fishy in here. I suppose all this while you have acted a good Samaritan and ignored or prevented skirmishes between you and your wife by not venting your insidious anger, but when things reach alarming proportions, then you know its time to blow your fuse. Just interrogate her ad nauseam and pepper her with the same question time and again till the bulwark of her patience breaks open and the truth is before you !

Answer 9

NSA? As in National Security Agency? Considering their primary mission is to keep people from spying on communications you might want to give up on the phone angle and try a different approach to the problem.

Answer 10

a 1000 texts a month?? and phone calls.. I would think its more than friendship.. I have a lot of friends and talk to them 2x a week not 1000 texts?? this might not be physical but sounds like a emotional affair..Your the one that has got to make this call but I would say enough is enough!! but thats me and its your life..

Answer 11

My wife did the same thing and even called him when we were on vacations. I checked from the phone records. This went on for 4 years and I asked her about it all the time. I finally found greeting cards from him saying he loved her. She said the same thing that they were just friends and she loves alot of people at work. Needless to say she is now my ex !!!!

Answer 12

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Answer 13

Over 30 texts a day? Something sneaky is going.



My fiancee did the same thing..I asked about all the texts on the bill..she told me it was because they got bored at work.

Answer 14

When she says he's just a friend I wonder if she thinks she is in Jr. High. She is a grown, married woman. What part of that does she not understand. If she wants this guy to be a friend then it needs to include you as well.

Answer 15

Demand everything that Happy 2 says but be prepared to be liquidated as a routine precaution, she's NSA man!!

Answer 16

2

Answer 17

That dude is banging your wife!!!! No girl talks to a guy that much and at midnight!! That is why she deletes his calls because she has something to hide and that is why she never talks to him in front of you!!!

Answer 18

Remind her that it is a married person's obligation not to give off even the appearance of impropriety. Tell her that she is treating your marriage with rudeness and disrespect, and demand a change.

Answer 19

I would suggest couples therapy, especially if she doesn't realize how she is damaging your relationship. She should be texting you like that, not another man.

Answer 20

Try to get the guys number and hear his side of view.

Answer 21

she is looking for adventure not really serious relationship just a fling, flirt, pleasure and out.

Answer 22

shes having an affair... i did the same thing when i was having an affair with a guy from work...

Answer 23

She is cheating on you plain and simple. Kick her butt to the curb!

Answer 24

i second savannah storm.