why is it that my x cheated on me when theres nothing wrong with me at all? im pretty?

Question

This ex, is my current husband I am no longer with, and and going to get a divorce from asap. I did not wrong him, i have taken him back twice in the 3yrs we have been married and i have gotten dumped and screwed over by him cheating on me and getting other females pregnant. Why do I get treated like this for doing nothing wrong but dropping out of college, moving, givign up all my friends, family, job, money and credit. Because of him i had to file for bankruptcy less than a year ago. This guy wrecked my life! Why me? And why didnt' he ever care?

Answer 1

I'm sorry that this happened to you, it's tough to get through.



Take a look at what you said;



"Why do I get treated like this for doing nothing wrong but dropping out of college, moving, givign up all my friends, family, job, money and credit"



It may be that since you were giving, and giving, and giving he figured that you would keep on giving. Didn't you say you took him back more than once?



This is not saying he is right. He's a dog and took advantage of your nature to nurture and be there for him.



When the hurt has lessened think about seeing a counselor, whether it's a minister or medical professional and work out how 1) you can spot these cads in the future, 2) what you can do to lay out up-front what you expect from the relationship, and 3) how to leave yourself exit points [getting out before it gets you] so that you have some peace of mind in future relationships.



It wasn't a good match and you're the one who's suffering for all that. You need someone who appreciates and cherishes you for who you are.



With a little care in the future I'm confident you will find that person.

Answer 2

It sounds like your husband doesn't really respect you, care about how you feel, or the consequences of his actions... pretty immature and probably a player. He probably looked at you being pretty and not much else beyond that, but being pretty doesn't make a successful or fulfilling relationship because beauty is only skin deep and doesn't last forever.



He probably has a lot of self confidence that attracted you (and probably the other women), but you ignored the rest and hoped for the best. The only thing you did wrong was pick the wrong person for you. You should figure out what you want in a man that's really important to you beyond the things that initially attract you to one. And even then, you need to make sure that he loves you, respects you, etc. Don't put out too quickly to find that out, else you confuse lust with love.

Answer 3

Men will often cheat with women who are less (sometimes much less)attractive than their spouse/gf/whatever...



It's really all about getting DIFFERENT *** once you've had the same *** for a long time & increasing the notches in your belt. Kind of like money..there's never enough of it. Or for you women, never enough shoes/handbags, etc etc... Men want to secure one stable reasonably hot ***, then expand to other non-commital *** territories for additional drainage.



A man can love his woman to the extent of gladly giving his own life for here and yet still be a slave to his own surging testosterone levels!!!



Men are pigs generally. There are some good guys out there but they really have to work at it to control themselves since monogamy is not consistent with our biological make up. If you only knew this sh*t men contemplate when an *** or pair of breast come into sight.. It's kind of sad actually though.. to be a enslaved in this prison of flesh.



Some men use religion to subdue the driving sexual force. Others castrate themselves. The rest pump anything that has female reproductive organs.

Answer 4

I'm sorry he cheated on you and that you gave up a lot of things for him but you are wrong in assuming that there wasn't anything wrong with you. You were wrong for letting him take advantage of you, he knew he can control you because he knew you'd do anything for him. You gave him control of you when you pretty much gave him all you have. Trust me I wish there's a better answer but I'm a guy and I've been dealt the same shitty cars and I've asked the same question over and over again. My solution to my problem? I haven't found any yet but I am moving far far away from my ex.

Answer 5

This happend because you thought about him too much. You gotta take care of self first baby. Lookin' out for #1 is never wrong, you gotta make sure you have a saftey net no matter what. In your next relationship make sure there is some give and take, it might not be even but it should be comparable. Nothing is wrong with you people just take what they have for granted after a while. I wish you the best

Answer 6

Let me tell you gurl. I have been cheated on and I cried my eyes out and I realized that it is not me. It them because you are a beautiful woman that desire so much more then someone cheating on you. Don't ask whats wrong ask what wrong with him because he left a wonderful woman and he probably never find another like this one. Ok. Because you find someone that will love you for beautiful you

Answer 7

you looks had nothing to do with it, men cheat for attention first, looks second, that why sometime the womne they cheat on can be less attractive than the victim ( in this case you ). but you lakc self esteem, hence yuou mistakes, moving in, helping him out ect.. you set your standards too low, i am not saying you deserved what you got, but you certainly did not help it much at all by ignoring the signs and given open avenues by accomidating him way too much

Answer 8

Um if your already pretty then u got half the relationship good. That just leaves the other half which is compassion and love. You gotta make your lover feel like they the most important pperson in the world.

Answer 9

Pretty ain't the issue. Even Pamela Anderson and Heather Locklear got cheated on. The issue is a bum man. I don't understand why the other women would want him and I don't understand why you're crying over him. He is not worth your tears, I promise you. Anyone who would cheat on you just isn't worth your time.

Answer 10

he is not in the relationship for you he is just looking for a tax deduction and then he feels he can still live like he used to. file divorce, go finish college and get your life back on track. you dont deserve disrespect. no one does. do what you need to do.

Answer 11

what he done to you was very wrong in my opion he will never change as for advise get on with your life you will never have nothing with that loser . i am being very honest you didnt do nothing to be done that way myself i was in that same thing by my .ex. you dont have to drop your morals like him i really feel for you on this matter but a person has to have this done to them as we both have then you will see in time who the loser is it isnt you it is him . again i hope you the best in this life as to what you have had to put up with ?

Answer 12

he was wrong to do this just take it as a fresh slat and next time dont give yourself up to please him your freiends, quiting school ect. There is plenty more guys out there. good luck!also looks have nothing to do with it almost ever guy I know who have cheated cheated with somone who was not as pretty as there wife or husband.

Answer 13

its never the other persons fault y their bf/or/gf cheats on them, its their fault the cheated on u in the first place. so dont ever think there is a problem with u, it's him not u and besides he's the one who lost out not u

Answer 14

The problem isn't with you. It's with him. I could give you a whole list of things about him that you already know, but I'll just sum it up for you. He's a loser, he didn't know what he had, and he didn't deserve you.

Answer 15

You are not responisble for his actions, he chose to do what he did. The question is, why would you even want to be with a person like that?

Answer 16

he will only do what u let him do 2 u. get out leave. he doesnt respect u. u might have low s.esteem but there is someone 4 everybody

Answer 17

He just wanted his cake and eat it too. Some men just can't settle down no matter how fine their woman is.

Answer 18

he seen that you were willing to put up with all of his BS and he felt that if you would permit it why not exploit you doesn't really matter how pretty you are

Answer 19

sometimes u have to remember u come first because if ur not happy u cant make anyonelse happy

Answer 20

The problem isn't with you. It's with him. go for the gusto and find a new.

Answer 21

he was wrong to do that.sorry

Answer 22

NO HE DIDENT WRECK YOUR LIFE ....YOU DID.....