I'm a stay at home mother and my husband as of the last couple months has been slacking in the work department.?

Question

My husband is sole provider by choice and he has done a great job. I stay at home and take care of our son and everything else happily... We decided that after working for 8 months, it would be best for me to stay at home full time bc they cost of daycare and gas for the 45 min one way commute was out waying what I was actually making. Well for about one month now. My husband has been averaging about 3 hrs tops a day working and comes home n just sits around. Ordering out (even tho I already cooked) and buys alcohol or whatever else he wants... He thinks it's a vacation staying home but when he's here, doesn't play with our son for more than 5 mins at a time. He's just kind of taking up space. And interfering w our routine. Our financially situation has suffered drastically from his decisions lately and I'm about fed up w the childish irresponsible behavior. He's says he could get used to staying home everyday like me. But when I say okay, I'll go back to work, someone does... He says okay but our son will go back into daycare. N honestly. I can't afford for him to sit home, be on a "vacation", and me go n work. I'd have to come home n do all my household chores bc if he stayed home he wouldn't do anything. Not supper nothing. Can someone help me out here. Me staying home til our dom goes to kindergarten is the best bet. W teaching him n keeping up with everything but if my husband isn't gonna work,n just wAnts to sit home n not help, what am I to do?! Help!

Answer 1

Tell him that you got married to have a partner, not another dependent, and that he has two weeks to decide if he will either work full time or be a full time stay at home dad.



At the end of the two weeks, if he hasn't done anything, kick him out or leave yourself.



If you don't put an end to these shenanigans right now, he'll drain you to the point of exhaustion and financial ruin.



DON'T PUT UP WITH IT for one more minute!

Answer 2

I have been in a similar situation. I took on the responsibility of the full time job because he lost his and got depressed and just wouldnt do anything! I mean theres a time when you are upset but you also still have a family to take care of!



Dont go back to work because then hes just going to get lazy and not do anything. Which is exactly what happened in my home. I came home after 12 hours to a huge mess! Dishes piled up laundry i asked him to fold all over the house because he let the kids get into them. The kids didnt get baths for days. It was really a bad situation.



After some really bad arguments and other situations that arose. we finally got to a common ground. I had to really explain to him how physically and mentally exhaused i was that coming home to crap and having to use my days off to clean the hosue back up was wearing me down way too fast.



Were now in a transition where im going back to being the home maker and he now has a full time job and second job. Sometimes you really have to tell them to try and see it through your eyes. If you have to threaten to kick him out is hes going to be lazy and not work. You shouldnt have to live like that. I hope things begin to work out!

Answer 3

Get him motivated again to look for a job. Most states have job placement centers that can help him hunt for work plus pay for college and trade schools to switch careers. If he won't go out to work then it needs to be made clear with him that he is going to have to pitch in cleaning, taking care of your child, etc.

Answer 4

He is a lazy jerk. If he is not trying to make this work you don't really have a future together. You sure he hasn't actually lost his job and he's just not telling you? I have nothing against househusbands but they have to clean cook and engage with the kids not just lie on the settee.

Answer 5

My grandmother had the best advice -- get that man out there and go with him on job hunts. Sit in the car with the baby, and send him in to apply. When he has to face his child and say he does not have the money to do this or that, the man usually shapes up.

Answer 6

What you should do is appreciate this time you get to have with your husband. Involve him with his child, get him to help you cook, and just spend good, quality time with him. You should be thankful you have so much money saved up that he can spend all this time with you. Take advantage of this situation while it lasts!