Protecting a widower from women attempting to become wife #2?

Question

Our situation I am sure is not unique and I am hoping to get some valuable input from the yahoo community!

My wonderful mother in law passed away just a little over a year ago. My father in law was in a state of panic at the thought of being alone and is to be understood. At first he reached out to one of Mom's single cousins, M, we'll call her. She shuned his advances to become anything more than just friends. He eventually found one of Mom's widowed friends, J. First it was just a night out a widow/widowers club. Then it was going to plays and dinners and doing many other things together. We were happy Dad found a companion near his age to do things with. Then came the dinners at Dad's house, which is fine. Eventually J worked her way into sleeping over at Dad's house. They're adults and we don't need the details of that. Anyways, she has eluded several times, that she could not live with him, it wouldn't be right. What kind of example would she be giving her Grandchildren? She has more less demanded, that if he wants her to live with him, then he will have to marry her. Dad has said all along, he does not want to get married again, at least not now. J's husband has been gone for 4yrs as opposed to just a year for Dad. J has 3 grown children, several grandchildren. Dad has 2 and a couple of grandchildren. She has no assets of her own to speak of. Dad has a house and owns a summer home, two cars and no debt. She drives her son's car, rents a condo and is more than $50K in debt, due to hitting the casinos and credit card abuse. She has stated several times, she is ready to move on, time is right for her. All the while Dad's kids are feeling as though she is trying to put her arms around him and his assets.

My question to all of you out there in yahoo...If he does later decide that he wants to marry her, what should he do to protect his assests from going to her and her children in the event he should pass before her? Before Mom passed, everything was placed in a trust for the children of their marriage, but now that Mom has passed on, will that trust be null and void and all assets pass on to J? Just want to protect Dad's best interests. We are glad he has found companionship, but we are also concerned he may be a little naive.

Thanks for your input...it will give us kids some food for thought and hopefully protect our Dad.

Answer 1

definitely pre-nup, it's only been a year whats the rush with him anyway?

this woman is looking to make sure her life will be comfortable for now on.

she's a shark.

he needs time to mourn and reflect on his life, there's a million women out there more than willing to marry him for security reasons.

Answer 2

I would trust your dad to be old enough and wise enough to make good choices.

Doesn't sound like he is likely to marry her anytime soon. If he does, you can always suggest a prenup. Just getting married does not change his will or trust assets.

Answer 3

The Number one man. Im sure a female president will have affairs like male presidents have. Having a numbering system is a simple and efficient way to keep track of her men.

Answer 4

All I ever wanted after my stepmom died at age 45 was for my dad to be happy again. He has dated a straight up whore and a woman who seemed like a decent person. I moved in to my father's home when my stepmom was diagnosed and stayed for 7 years until she died. Then I stayed to raise her son, who is 20 years younger than me. This is all my choice and he's been generous, paying my insurance and daughter's private school. All told, he's worth about $400,000, and if he remarries and leaves it all to his wife, I'm fine with that. It's his money. He raised me well and paid for college. When my grandparents died, they didn't have the money for their burial. My parents took a financial loss. I won't get best answer for this, but when you say you're looking out for "Dad's best interests", you're being disingenuous. You're talking about his potential heirs best interests. He'll be dead. The dead don't worry about who gets the house. My advice would be to never bring this up to him. He won't appreciate it.

Answer 5

Prenup, and Will should take care of his assets......