What is the key to a successful marriage?

Question

Why do 43% of new marriages eng in divorce? Most marriages begins so well when both are in love and and happy and willing to spend the rest of their lives together. So what goes wrong?

Answer 1

most people spend longer planning their weddings than they do planning their marriages!!!

Answer 2

The key thing in a successful marriage is work. Nothing in life is guaranteed except death,taxes, & people that will screw you over. Marriage is a funny thing because, their has been some people that has shacked up for years and you figure that they knew each other well enough after a decade. They finally take the plunge and 2years later it ends in divorce. But, on the other hand someone who got married in Vegas over thirty years ago could have been total strangers and it worked out fine. The percentage of divorce has been climbing throughout the years because since the way people are being raised has changed,so has their morals. Allot of people want a fast food relationship these days. They want a partner right away,have sex way too soon, and wasn't even friends before dating. When the relationship does not turn out what they wanted it to be one sex blames another. Women saying things like all men are dogs, and men saying they are ho's. If you ever want to take the time to really know why the older generations stayed married much longer than ours, it was because they worked on it. They didn't have the internet,morals actually existed on a bigger level, and cheating was done by very few compared to now. Back then the man worked and the woman could stay at home. They had both parents in the child's life with a more equal balance of the nurturer & the disciplinarian. Back then it would be the scandal of the town if a woman got caught cheating on her husband. Now in days the only people we care about as far as cheating would be people in the public spotlight. Tiger Woods, Jessy James,Colby Bryant, who truly cares? Nobody but, our kids seeing this & it does set bad examples. Mainly the reasons that most men don't want marriage is because we have grown up seeing other men getting royally screwed in divorce. We don't trust women,& they us. So, if we cant have the real deal then lets just play house. As it says in the bible like, the sins of the father will be doubled by the sins of the son. We live in a society that is progressively becoming more sick! If you think things are bad now, weight until you are a grandparent. Picking a partner for life is one of the hardest decisions to make these days. Making exactly for sure that you both want the same things and will do whatever it takes to be together is key. Nobody will ever agree upon everything but, you have to begin somewhere in compromise and take one day at a time. Society will never get better as a whole until we get back to the basics.

Answer 3

Well Ryan your obviously choosing the wrong women every time, and yes its me back that answered your question a while back about saying you had clocked up 30 years of marriage. Actually glad I came across you again, for this question shows more of a truer picture of you and your situation. Seriously and no sarcasm meant, the reason your going wrong is whats lacking is that good old fashioned FRIENDSHIP thing. The majority of woman want to marry for love, sure money and status in life can be important to some, but the woman that marries for other reasons than she honestly loves the man, is a fool. I say you should get out there again but look for friendship rather than love, get to know a woman that would remain the same as she was when you first met her, Saying yes to a bossy wife may keep the peace for a time, but it don't do much for you as a man, and Honey everyone deserves to know real love. So basically its down to you choose the wrong woman, or are they perhaps choosing you, sounds very much like that from wife number 2, I think its totally wrong that you lost so much that time around. Good Luck in the future, but don't stay in a rut, life is too short for that, like I said, we all deserve happiness in this world, the years pass so quickly anyway.

Answer 4

The key is Team Work! Sometimes couples move into confrontations instead of working as a team. When couples tackle issues like money, rather than accuse each other, they need to come together to make a plan. Same with issues regarding children and discipline and in laws.



The other thing that creates a happier couple is when both people want what is best for the other. In that way they can support each other becoming the best person they can be.

Answer 5

Well, first of all expectation management. We expect way too much from our partners. We don't want to compromise to make it work. We are never willing to go to counseling when it is going down the hill, (filling for divorce it a nice shortcut to run away from reality and face it as it is) We have unsolved family problems and we tend to take it into our marriage. What we really want in a person does not exist (it does but only in our heads).





I recommend you read 5 languages of love and will you understand much better what are the keys to a successful marriage.

Answer 6

omg, I didn't realise marriage could be so complicated, if I had I would never have got married.

We worked in the same department for a few weeks, we dated, we made love, we got married, all within 6 months.

This morning, 48 years later, we had a cup of tea in bed, made love, showered and went shopping together.

What goes wrong is that the two people stop singing from the same song sheet. They're each playing their own melody. When they do so, whilst each song may sound fine on it's own, when played together it becomes a cacophony.



So there you go, pull the plough together AS ONE TEAM!!!!!. And when the work is done and the kids have flown, play together AS ONE TEAM!!!!



one team = compromise, trust in each pulling their fair share of weight, trust in finance,earning, saving and spending, communication, talk to each other when you are hurting and reach an agreement, sex, if each tries to please the other more than pleasing themselves it should get quite hot in there, don't score low points during a row. (the spoken word is harder to recall than a stone thrown with force)



You get the idea; you may be woodwind and your partner may be brass but for gods sake, PLAY THE SAME TUNE!!!

Answer 7

some people dont wait long enough. they are like wow this is sooo good, we never fight, we dont have problems lets get married it just feels right. big time no no. every couple has their arguments every couple fights. some just know how to work through them as a couple because they have been there before. others get married its fine and dandy and then money issues arise, they aren't used to fighting so what happens? they fight about fighting, and it escalates even worse. the couples that get in little fights throw a fit and walk away just set themselves up for fighting about it the second they see each other again. the couple that starts to fight and says hey fightings not getting us anywhere lets sit down and talk this out until we figure something out-- i guarantee will make it.

most couples fight over money. before you get married hers is hers he spends some on her but the rest is his and when your married its 50/50 you do things together. and when she don't have the money for all the clothes and make u p and he don't have the money for the guys and alcohol on sat night because of the mortgage it gets a little frustrating.

i love my boyfriend and one thing we will not fight about it money. if we don't have it then i guess its time to start watching a couple kids or just doing something to help out. he wants me to stay at home with my 3 year old and im currently pregnant with his first. he lives at home were getting a place together. im not going to tell him he cant do it on his own but its going to be very hard. with the way things are these days its hard to make it with only one person working in the house on an average salary.

so talk about how your going to fight when things are good just be like babe listen, it worries me about how everyone breaks up these days i just want to let you know i don't want that to be us so if we have any kind of problem we really need to sit down and talk it out so it doesn't get out of control.

sometimes it wont always work but majority it will.

Answer 8

communication, being open , no hidden life style.



I find it if you are open to one another and both of you not only know how to be happy together but also know how to keep yourselves happy, everything else should be a piece of cake.



Today's couples just seem to want the title but not put the work into getting and keeping the title.

Answer 9

God! A marriage must be based on God. If it is based on God, and not on you and your mate, then you can overcome anything. God is unconditional love, acceptance and forgiveness. If you mess up or your mate messes up, it's okay because the relationship is based on something much larger than the two of you.



43% of marriages end in divorce because they are based on the two partners in the marriage. When somebody screws up, it's a dealbreaker because the marriage was based on two individuals who are pre-destined to make mistakes. There is nothing unconditional to fall back on. No security.

Answer 10

Debt and the inability to spend and save money together in a way that end the debt.

Answer 11

Communication problems

Answer 12

theres a difference between being "in love" or "in lust", and "unconditonal love", which is really the only "true" unselfish love there is. maybe when ppl figure that out, there will be less divorce. just my opinion. depends which brain is doing the thinking.

Answer 13

Many marry for reasons known only to themselves, from " it''s time" to this is my last chance, to the sex is great, to she has money, to she loves to cook, to I can get to her sister or brother easier. Many are not really deep and true friends, which is essential. They also do not understand mature love which has zero to do with great sex.

Answer 14

Constant nagging, boredom, communication breaking down, constant nagging, financial problems, adultery (or thinking of committing adultery), constant nagging, complacency, being taken for granted over & over again, constant nagging, passion dying out too soon, becoming too clingy and....you guessed it....constant nagging.

Answer 15

Communication! Talk about everything. Be open and honest with each other. Talk of wants and desires, life, kids, whatever but always talk to each other!

Answer 16

I think the key is communication. But it's easier to say than do.

Answer 17

Honesty & Love and of course financial stability



Baby~

Answer 18

"hmmmmm" has it right.



Communications.



Oh...and add 'compromise'. You'll never survive if that isn't thrown into the mix. Concession is necessary but compromising is a major factor.

Answer 19

Talking and understanding each other and the ability to forgive and forget.

Answer 20

lust is the problem, when ,and if, you find your soul mate, then your marriage will have the foundations of a long and happy marriage

Answer 21

Letting Her think that She's in control, but knowing that You are in control.

Answer 22

respect and the ability to make each other laugh.

Answer 23

i think is that loving nd trusting each other

Answer 24

no respect for God or His laws.