I know its pretty petty, but it bugs me and need your honest opinions/advice.?

Question

My boyfriend has a summer car, an 80's mustang that he is just in love with. He has had it for quite a few years, and has fixed it up, etc. He is a car guy at heart. He is 25 years old, and it seriously makes this huge smile cross his face when he finally gets to drive it in the warmer weather. Thing is, i don't like it very much, and it bothers me that he has to rev it infront of everyone and speeds off a light all the time. I feel like telling him he's being childish but I dont want to be mean. I just feel like he think it makes him seem cool...it bugs me to no end. What can I tell him or am I being unreasonable? I'm glad he's happy, but can't he just keep it down a bit or grow up a little?! I know this sounds harsh, its just that he thinks it makes him more of a man or something when really it makes me cringe.

Answer 1

Here is what you have to remember.....LOL



Boy's do NOT grow up... they just have more expensive toys....LOL



Actually he is being hard on "his baby" driving it like that though.

Seems like he would "baby" it to make it last longer.



You are not being mean. Just a sign that you are maturing to a level he is not is all.

Answer 2

Does your boyfriend appreciate your love for shopping? If he's like most men, probably not. We all have and need things in life/hobbies that we are passionate about. I must admit the revving it at every light would be annoying but there are much worse things your boyfriend can be into so just go with it. It would be a huge blow to his ego if you told him that you didn't like the car and you want to continue to see that huge smile across his face, right?

Answer 3

First off, Sounds like he doesn't know it really bugs you. Even if he did you probably wouldn't get very far telling him to stop it. If this is all he does to bug you he doesn't sound like that bad of a guy. If it makes him feel more macho to do this then you should allow it for a while. Eventually he will grow out of this and he probably won't do it anymore. Besides you may reap some benefits to him being more macho (better love making) Etc..... I would let this go, I mean its really not illegal. He's just havin fun.

Answer 4

It's just my personal opinion but I think that some guys need things like cars and money and big screen tv's because they are trying to make up for something lacking in their personality and have low self-esteem. When you say your bf has to rev up his car in front of everyone and speed off may mean that he is seriously in need of attention and he feels that the only way he can get it is by using his car and not his personality. I think you should try complimenting him on the things you like about him besides what he owns. It will make him feel better and maybe he won't need the negitive attention so much.

Answer 5

Hi Shop,



You are just being a control freak kiddo. You say that you know you are being petty, but still are looking for a justification to be petty. Honestly, you are not being petty. However, you are being selfish. Whether or not it makes him look cool in any body else's eyes is not the point. It makes him feel good, and you want that to stop. You are not a bad person, but you do need to give him the room to enjoy his hobbies. If you make him pick the car or you, you better pray sista.

Answer 6

How does this affect you? My fiance is a big geek and he was one of those people that waited in line for twelve hours to buy an Apple iPhone the first day it came out. He still loves to pull it out and use it conspicuously, hoping people will ask him about it, even though every third person has one now. He's almost 42. Men don't grow out of this sort of behavior.



Yes, it sometimes makes me cringe, but it has nothing to do with me, and it doesn't affect me in any way, so I let him be. Once you grasp that his car and how he acts with it is of no matter to you or your relationship with him, you both will be a lot better off.

Answer 7

I would nicely let him know it bothers you. If he doesn't stop doing that he probably won't be much into compromise if you marry. I personally find car showing off to be so immature. Also if they are immature about cars they are more likely to be a braggert about other things and wanting all sorts of attention at gatherings and such.



It is not very safe also to go speeding off when a lght turns green because frequently there are people trying to make it through as it goes from yellow to red and sometimes after it is red. Better to give it a second or two and proceed cautiously.

Answer 8

You don't say how old you are....

and yes....you are being unreasonable. If this is the only thing that bugs you - let it go - If you think that, down-the-line, he may be who you spend your life with - get used to it!

You won't change him. Men are who they are! And the sooner more women realize this - the less divorces there will be!! (Ok that's a little over the top - but hits the mark none-the-less!)

Answer 9

Just let him know how dangerous he is with his and your lives as well as everybody on or off the street. Tell him that there are places where people (not just men) can show off their car and their talent withour risking anybody elses wellbeing. The place is called either a legal drag strip or a oval track depending on his likes and dislikes. You can get all of the information for him. Invite him to go see what they do at these tracks. Find out just how easy it is to join these tracks.

Answer 10

Just let him have his fun. Men who are car crazy never totally get over showing off. They calm down a little in their thirties and then, when the mid-life crisis hits, they buy the most souped up, impractical, gas-guzzler they can afford and spend their spare time posing in it. You'll learn to live with it and get to the point where you are completely unfazed about the screeching tires and the manic look on his face.

Answer 11

I wouldn't say anything. This is no different than a guy who plays video games bragging to his buddies that he beat the game on hero mode, or whatever. Other than it being in public.



Being that I have a 60's camaro in my garage, I am probably not the one to advise on this. But thats his pride and joy, he put work into it, he's had it for years - thats his baby (aside from you!) He just wants people to notice his hard work.



It makes you cringe because you could probably care less about his car/cars in general. But it's still important to him. When you have to go out in the summer together, suggest you drive your vehicle, and let him have his fun when he's out on his own, if you can't stand it.



By saying anything about his car, you'll be bruising his ego and to him, downplaying his hard work and something thats important to him. It's just a car, all men have something whether it be a car, or tools, or something they made/built - or like I said, video game accomplishments that they like to show off. Don't bruise his ego.

Answer 12

Give that man some credit for loving his car. If you can't stand it, don't ride with him in the car then, as simple as that. If you still want to drive with him, then tell him how you feel inside. It's a simple request and I am sure he will do it.

Answer 13

My fiance is 29 and exactly the same. I have told him if he feels the need to show off do it when Im not in the car. He used to think it impressed me but when I told him it doesn't he stopped.

Try just saying "Look I know you love your car and what it does, but it really doesn't impress me when you do this"

Be nice about it but honest.And your not being harsh It really is annoying.

And remember Boys will be boys!!!

Answer 14

I know the type, and yes, to us women it does seem very childish. However, if he had it when you met him, and you accepted him then, you really cant expect it to change. It's a guy thing and probably a fun hobby of his (even though I don't get it--my hubby is the same with his motorcycle!).

Answer 15

He is proud. Is it a bit childish? Sure, but harmless. I am sure that he finds your "shopping adventures" childish...



Enjoy the fact that it is a car he revs up and not another woman.

Answer 16

thing to remeber in relastionships is both people dont have to love EVERYTHING the other one does. it can just be his thing to go cruise his car and thats ok. just like if you wanted to take a i dont know cooking class and you just loved it. does that mean he has to? of course not



let him enjoy it and dont rain on his parade. theres so few things that really make us happy when we have to get up pay bills go to work etc.

Answer 17

Do you own him? Or is he his own person with wants, needs, feelings, and emotions of his own? Leave the guy alone and let him have a little fun. Things could be much worse and you know it.

Answer 18

guys take pride in their cars, whatever they are. He is proud of it and it makes him happy,

he probably does that he is cool in it because alot of guys are like that

i don't think its a big deal but if it really bugs you, you should just mention it to him in a CALM aha non bitchy way,

see what happens.

Answer 19

Ok, your first mistake was to think he will ever grow up. He's a man and as a man myself I can honestly say that we just don't grow up. You just need ot get over this, it seems to be your problem not his.

Answer 20

Maybe he has a car fetish?



Tell him that it hurts your ears or something like that and he can spend time tuning down the noise a notch.

Answer 21

Refuse to ride in it with him and tell him you had your fill of doing things like that when you were a teenager.

Answer 22

You can't expect him to change...If you don't like the way he is.....then end things with him and find someone who won't make you cringe.....

Answer 23

Leave him alone. He is having fun. Someday he will not want to do it anymore when he is about 70, and you will be sad for him.

Answer 24

I think you should just deal with it. It's something he's passionate about so just let him be.

Answer 25

Let him have fun with his toy....it's better the mustang than another woman, isn't it?

Answer 26

ur right it is petty