will you ever consider long term with a guy who slept with hookers before?

Question

I have been gone out on dates with an amazing guy for couple times. He's so charming, handsome, exciting, and also sweet and caring. Well, I cannot say he is "perfect" because he had a relatively wild past. For one, he likes to drink and sometimes, he does get drunk (quite often actually), he used to be get into physical fights and almost got in jails for that. When he went traveling, he slept with hookers which kind of grossed me out.
I mean all these are in the past now. And he has been tested and he is STD free. I have couple concerns, First, I cannot seem to forget about him with the hooker, Second, how can I measure up? lol if you know what I meant.
So do you think I should give this a shot? I am looking for a long term relationship instead of short term fling. He's intensely loyal and never cheated. So what do you think

Answer 1

Only you can answer that for yourself on want you want and what makes you happy, which will take time. Everyone here is either to immature or to opinionated to give you a good advice as shown by the posters above me.

Answer 2

My fiancee was in the navy between the ages of 17 and 21. He is a wonderful man, but obviously there is a very very similar past there. The fact that he is open and honest goes a long way. And yes he says it was stupid he had the opportunity to see the world and in most foreign countries all he saw was the inside of bars and brothels and wasted all that money. But hey WE ALL WERE (despite how some self righteous people talk on here) young and dumb and did things we regret.



So the answer is yes I did and do not regret it at all.

How can you measure up? Easily they were nothing to him, YOU ARE SOMETHING!





HOWEVER that said the fact that HE STILL drinks and fights is a HUGE problem and red flag, way more then any past experience with hookers should be. Interesting more answers don't say anything about that. Guess these "squeaky-clean people" are obsessed with hookers and sex..

Answer 3

I agree the whole hooker thing is a turn off. However, the past is the past right? And trust me, you are a step up from a hooker, so don't even bother thinking you can't measure up. Hookers are not usually the most attractive women and the cleanest...unless she's a high class one lmao.



Anyway...You could give this a try if you really like him. You shouldn't hold his past against him if he is different now. I just don't like the fact that you said he gets drunk a lot. I have lived with someone who gets drunk a lot and it is not fun! So really think about that part and if you're willing to deal with that. Good Luck xoxo

Answer 4

Ithink that everyone deserves a chance. so you should try it out and see where it goes. you never know what will happen if you dont give it a chance. Put the past in the past. Also you shouldnt compare yourself to a hooker because im sure your a better person. If you have a problem with the amount of times he gets drunk than just talk to him about it...good luck=] !!!

Answer 5

I know one of my friends who tried to sleep with a hooker and would have if she didn't steal his money... but anyway.... not the point... if he seems like a good guy he probably is. My friend is one of the nicest people in the world, who just went on a binge for hookers for a few months and only got close once, but still it isn't really a bad thing. Look at it this way, that is one girl that he probably definitely used a condom with so.. as long as you think you can like him more than you do then a long term relationship is the way to get to that. good luck. everyone deserves a second chance.

Answer 6

I would only consider it if the guy was Russell Brand >.<



But..think about this..sleeping with a hooker is just like taking home a trashy girl for a one night stand except you pay for it..so what's the difference?



I'm not saying it's not gross..but hey the past is the past for a reason. Maybe give him a chance..just be careful!!

Answer 7

I think your boyfriend's hooker experience should be second to his drinking a lot. It seems to me that the hooker thing is in the pass and if he says he is really sorry then he is we all make mistakes. But if he still drinks in excess then he may need help in that area.

If you belong to a Church see if you can get him to go with you or you yourself can go to ala-non to get information on the situation.

Better yet if he is as interested in a serious relationship with you as you are with him ask him to pray with you. Just hold hands in private and ask God for guidance and direction for both of your lives and see what comes of it. You both have to be able to trust and support each other if you begin a serious relationship. This could help him in making the right choices now in his life while he is still young. Hope things work out for the best and if you are the one for him you don't have to worry about competing with anyone, especially someone 3000 miles away.

Take care of each other and God Bless!

Answer 8

people do things they wish they didnt do all the time. i know i have. maybe you shouldnt think to much about what hes done but instead what he is now. i know you'll never forget the hooker thing but if hes a great guy and you dont atleast give it a chance then you'll always wonder what could have been. as for the drinking and the fighting. talk to him about it. let him know you dont like it. and dont expect a complete turn around over night. you will need to help him with anger and drinking. ive been in the army for 4 years. i used to drink like a fish and fight anyone who even looked at me. the army did everything from anger management to aa. nothing worked untill i met my wife and she helped me. so you'll need to help him nomatter how macho he thinks he is.

Answer 9

I give him points for being honest about it. It many countries it is fairly normal. I was stationed in Germany with my ex-husband, and most of the single guys I met had been to the red-light district at least once.

It is big business over there. I even demanded to see it. I tell you that was the first culture shock I had. Tons of women in the windows selling themselves. All ages, shapes and sizes were for sale.

Yes. I would consider it. If he is clean and finished with that life, then why not? Everyone has done things they are not proud of.

Answer 10

What's the difference between a he being with a hooker or a trampy woman who would sleep with whoever bought her dinner.



At least he is honest about what he's done.



You could end up with a guy that has been with hookers and just lied to your face about it.

Answer 11

Umm lets see.. he is a drunk, (self admitted by you) and he sleeps around, and has been in jail. YES THATS a KEEPER!!! DUH.... I would have serious doubts about a relationship with someone like that.



Should you give it a shot? YOu want to be bailing his stupid butt out of jail?? You want to be wondering all the time if he is out with other hookers??? You want to perhaps develop AIDS 10 years from now? Just because he tested negative now, does not mean he wont later in life. AIDS can take years to show up.

Answer 12

how do you know he's never cheated? you need to get to know him well. the only way you can give it a real shot is if you believe in your heart you can overcome his past. if not, i'd check in to dating some other guy. the good news is, at least he's honest. i'd take it slow with this guy (if you're truly sure about him) and go from there.

Answer 13

If you like him, follow your heart. But be cautious. Just because he has had hookers before, doesn't mean he would do it in a relationship. You might get hurt, you might not. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.



EDIT - It is interesting to see other people's responses. They must be amazing people to have never done anything in their past that they are ashamed of, and cynical if they think people can't change.

Answer 14

Personally I'd really not want to know about a guys sexual past and wouldn't consider his sexual/relationships past when deciding that. The past is the past. If you feel he has changed and want to go out with him then just go! He is with you now and that is what matters.

Hope this Helps.

Answer 15

Give it a shot. Don't listen to all the stone throwers here.



Read this:



Jesus said to them, "I tell you the truth, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God ahead of you. {32} For John came to you to show you the way of righteousness, and you did not believe him, but the tax collectors and the prostitutes did.

Answer 16

Humm this is interesting. I think you need to ask yourself if you can get over his past and move on with the relationship. If you choose to be with him you need to begin the relationship with a clean slate. You cannot do that if you are unable to get over his past. If you can get over his past then go for it; if you cannot forget his past then move on because no matter what you do his past will never change.

Answer 17

If being in a long-term relationship is that important to you that you would date, let alone marry, a guy that gross, I would get your self-esteem checked honey!

Answer 18

First you should graduate from High School. Then if you still want to be with him realize who is because you will never change him.

Answer 19

NO. i did that and he went out with hookers the wholetime secretly.

THIS IS A RED FLAG! SHOW NO MERCY.

you must dump him.he was stupid to even tell you.

THE 'PAST' WAS REALLY ONLY LAST WEEKEND

HE PROBABLY DOES CRACK TOO WITH THOSE WOMEN.

BELIEVE ME.

Answer 20

how do you manage to find out so much about a person after only a few dates?



how do you know he never cheated and is loyal?

Answer 21

Um I would say no. If he likes prostitutes he will go after them in the future. You don't want to hear this answer but you need to.

Answer 22

Well, do you think he would really stop that behavior? I mean, what happens if he ever has to go out of town without you.

And don't worry about measuring up to a hooker, are you kidding me? Nasty!

Answer 23

As long as he's cleaned up his act I don't see what the issue is. We all have things in our past. Do you want to be judged for all the things you did before you met?

Answer 24

Yes, those are the worst days because sleeping wont refresh you and you feel infinitely tired

Answer 25

and ur saying you havent slept with more than one guy?



give him a chance...



if he getsinto fights just means he could protect you.

Answer 26

wow.. this guy sounds like a real winner



u must have daddy issues...



do your self a faver - go to a therapist, resolve your issues, then find a guy who doesnt have his own issues.

life could be so much sweeter

Answer 27

If he's a good guy now then I guess that's your call. I, however, take issue with a man who will pay for sex.

Answer 28

HELL NO

he may have an STD

anyway that's just down right disgusting and unsanitary.

Answer 29

no because i dont like the type of guys that like hookers and plus he might have aids if he told u he doesnt dont believe him never take a guy like that seriously, seriously!

Answer 30

i'm not into guys so i probably wouldn't

Answer 31

who hasn't.... be reasonable!

Answer 32

only an idiot would do it, good luck, GROSS

Answer 33

u must think nothing of yourself

Answer 34

NOPE

Answer 35

if hes done it once he'll do it again

Answer 36

lots of guys do, i have never, but many guy have, girls just dont think about it untill the guy brings it up

Answer 37

N-O don't do it!!!



NO!!!!!!!!!



It doesn't matter how much he's 'changed' it only matters that history repeats itself.

Answer 38

I would not, no.

Answer 39

Yeah but no. Hard habits die hard. I agree GROSS!

Answer 40

have him pay you for sex





EDIT: i slept with 2 escorts, and my wife doesn't care. Get over yourself.

Answer 41

ugh he slept with hookers