I feel so drained. I need help to recuperate.?

Question

My boss could see what was happening and he has described my life as a bit of a mess as he has seen my hot and cold behaviour on the job. Just subtle hints like changes in my attitude as the day wears on. Sometimes I'll walk around happy, other times I'll be upset and withdrawn a bit. I'm trying to control it for my job. I need this job to pay the rent and put food on the table. It has some potential to go further but at the same time I'm able to use it to pay my way if I decide on further study...

I am looking to train up into the travel industry so I can use my love of travel, language skills and knowledge of a foreign culture.

In some ways, I'm getting ahead. In other ways, I'm dragged down. It's hard because I'm on my own and struggling to get setup.

My wife? She's still overseas. I don't think she can change her attitude. We got married 8 months ago and she has already done so much damage that I am left to wonder why I am sticking around. She claims to love me, but she does stupid things like hanging up the phone and switching it off when she goes out to dinner with friends. Just dismiss me like I am nothing.

She said she suddenly could understand me after talking with her girlfriend. Her friend's husband is always going out without her and being dismissive. They fight endlessly. She says she is lonely and that she is 'clingy'. Well, unfortunately I married a dismissive woman. I tell you all now that I am carrying a lot of hurt thanks to her behaviour: dinner with a male friend here and the talking to me rudely and trying to sleep head to toe. She says this is her personality...

I have told her that I carry a lot of hurt in my heart. Of course I do. I don't care if she is trustworthy (which I don't believe she is entirely), it's the blatant mistreatment of me for so long that has had me time and again wonder why I got married. Just 8 months into the marriage she skips off after making me feel like crap. The first 5 years of marriage are supposed to be the best. She just treats me like I'm nothing. Get what I mean if I say that when I call, if she is out with friends, she hangs up on me.

I'm worth less than her friends. Little things make a big difference. I'm hurting for her bad behaviour towards me, leaving me alone for so long and I hate the way I have suffered with her. I haven't slept well, I've had nightmares, dreams where I'm reaching out to be intimate with someone. Feeling like it's my fate to be alone for my life. After three years, being separated for so long has taken it's toll on me.

I'm always exhausted. I'm getting run down and starting to get a bit sick :-(

I can't take anymore drama. I want a simple life. But I hate where I am right now.

I feel like my wife cares about me deeply. But I am feeling to hurt deep down to want to forgive her. If I forgive her:
- Will she go out to dinner behind me again?
- Will she start the verbal abuse again?
- Will she be dismissive?
- Will she try to live her life like a single woman?

We don't share anything together!

I still believe that she is doing something bad behind me - the turning off the mobile phone seemed like a real lie. She claims to have gone to dinner with her friend and then returned to her mum's house to see her dog, then to sleep another night at her friend's home... It doesn't add up. I feel like I'm being played.

Answer 1

Matt, sorry for all you are going through.



This is miserable!!! You say your wife loves you yet she treats you horribly. She is rude and selfish and your life will be an never ending heartache should you stay married to her. I'm not understanding her reason for getting married? She's overseas, she hangs out with "friends" and hangs the phone up on her husband? That shouldn't fly with you.



I believe she's cutting you off because she is cheating. It makes no sense to hang up on your husband in front of your girlfriends. Most women would find that repulsive.



If she doesn't come home and commit to some serious marriage counseling, I would divorce her. Find a woman that will care about you, want to spend time with you and treat you with the respect you deserve!



Don't sit and sulk sand don't call her. Give her a taste of her medicine and give her the responsibility of trying to mend things. She thinks your clingy and is emotionally abusing you because she can. You be the one to set the standard for how you wish to be treated and don't veer from it!





Good luck

Answer 2

Only do it if you're in a well body of brain. Don't misinform your self. If you're hiding matters from your self they're going to leap out at you, gigantic time. Have a pal travel with you. Someone you're at ease with. If you do not get off immediately, simply wait. It takes a well forty five mins for it to get going. Soon when you get off, inside an hour or so, you'll succeed in a factor wherein you form of have a alternative. You can cross both means; both keep calm and 'keep' or get freaked out and begin taking place the unhealthy travel avenue. Just keep robust. Keep your wits and do not permit it take you underneath. This iffy interval will cross speedily- approximately a part hour. If you get by way of it (and you'll be able to-simply keep in manipulate of your brain) the relaxation of the travel can be delicate crusing. A man or woman I recognize might take just a little tiny piece a few days earlier than simply to ensure it is k. I under no circumstances did this however it appears like a well concept. It is a pleasant revel in. Happy trails.

Answer 3

Divorce her no more questions about that relationship its horrible...sorry.Or you could talk to her about whats been going with you and her and if things does not change then.file for a divorce..It seems like you are getting played also