Ex wants receipts things bought with child support?

Question

My ex will not give me child support. He says he MAY if he gets receipts for every penny of child support. Of course he says rent, food, electric, gas, heat, telephone, do not count as I "would be paying them anyway" Even though all of those things are of course, increased with a child. He refuses to pay a dime of childcare and will not drop our pick up our child even though he was the one that moved out of the town we were living in.

This is ridiculous and controlling. He has always been a controlling man.

My view is that all those things mentioned above do support the child. Rent, for example I would be paying $600 fora one bedroom if I did not have my son, instead I pay $900 for a two bedroom, and that is a typical price in our town. So yes, everything is increased with a child.


He also has said he will refuse to accept receipts for my sons therapy(he has autism spectrum disorder) or any recreational programs or respite care as he thinks they are "unnecessary"

We have joint legal custody with me having sole physical custody. He has him two days a week and that is always changing based on his whims. Because of this, he wants to claim all child tax credits and special program money for our son but claims he will not spend that money on what I do right now which is supporting him and getting him the pr grams and therapy he needs. No, I am not trying to double dip, the therapy costs far more than the child benefits and program money provide.

He will not take him for holidays, he will not take him for any extra days off or if he has somethign to do with his freinds.

Yes, I have taken him to court, he got a high priced lawyer and got off scott free because "he could not afford anything" Despite having the high priced laywer.

How do I tell him this is unreasonable behaivor?

Answer 1

I would tell him that he is being unreasonable, but if he wants receipts then fine. Also, in the meantime I would appeal the courts, find you a great lawyer or a judge that will sympathize with your situation. No offense, and in most situations I would not say try to get even with him, but find his weak spot, pride, whatever it is and CRUSH him. Do anything you can to get full custody of your son.

Answer 2

This is an argument I've been hearing for 21 years from fathers. Much of it is a result of the public perception that the non-residential parent,(usually the father) should be providing 100% of the support of a child, when in reality, a percentage of the residential parent’s (usually the mother) income is also suppose to be spent on the child. But, only the father is obligated under law to prove that he is actually paying it. She has the control and can exert that control with the help of the government. When you add to it the control she has over the kids, knowing that she can violate the court ordered visitation and the government provides no help to enforce it, there is a statute of limitations for enforcement of 24 hours, no interest penalties, and very rarely is jail threatened, let alone instigated.



By providing receipts, it gives him an idea that the mother may actually obeying the court order child support, herself. But, when he does make this demand, he’s considered abusive and controlling, just like when he tries to enforce the court ordered visitation.



The solution is a Trust Fund. Both parents pay their parts into a trust fund. The trust fund operator pays standardized expenses, such as approximately 1/3rd of rent, as the child does not occupy 100% of a home. The amount would be determined in the difference of rent for a one bedroom and or two or three bedroom place, and not the full cost. The same would apply to utilities and other standard items. Items such as clothing and personnel expenses related to the child, the mother would turn in receipts to the trust fund for reimbursement.



The same federal rules would apply as in cases of trust funds where both parents have been killed and a trust fund has been setup that guardians draw from to cover the costs of the children. In these cases, the guardians cannot claim 100% of rent, utilities, etc. The trust fund pays a percentage of the costs. When the children are grown, the remainder goes toward college or divided among the children.



This same program would apply with child support trust funds. Any money remaining in the trust fund would collect interest. It would be used for emergencies, college, and divided among the children when they are grown. The same rules would apply. Both parents would get a monthly report on the deposits and expenditures.



The payments would be deducted from the mother’s paycheck, just like the father, which would also benefit the states, as they could than claim more in matching funds from the federal government in enforcement funds.



Moves to require trust funds have been thwarted by women’s groups who believe requiring the mother to prove she is expending her required amount on the children is a violation of her privacy rights.



http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=27395259

Answer 3

He knows it's unreasonable. That's the point. He's trying to control you. Go to the Attorney General (or whatever it is in your state) and apply for cs again.



That tax form says the child has to live with the person who files it 51% of the time. File it and let the SOB work it out with the IRS.



Please stand up for your child and don't let this jerk push you around. You have many years ahead of you.



EDIT: Dave S is a twit. I knew this guy was abusive before you said so. Abuse= control. Did you ever call the cops on him when he was abusing you? A police report would be very useful to you right now.

Answer 4

You need to stick by what was court ordered as far as his visitation. Do not let him get away with at his whims, make him stick to the set schedule. If child support was court ordered and he refuses to pay it then take him back to court. Rent and utilities and anything else you spend that money on is a form of supporting that child. You have custody so you have the upper-hand. Do not let him control you. Go by what the court papers say and make him stick to it. Take control, because you are entitled to it. Stop letting him run your life.

Answer 5

Have you lost your ex, and are now asking for help on "how to get my ex back when he's moved on'? Don't bother moping, because what you have lost does not mean you have lost it forever. Here are some quick and simple tips for learning how to get your ex back even if he has moved on to another woman and no longer appears to be interested in associating with you. Learn here https://tr.im/TayIk



1 - One of the most advantageous things that you can do is simply to be his friend. Make a really good friend to him, showing him that you understand him and that you can be around him without creating any drama. Show him that you can joke around with him and have a healthy friendship with him. When the drama and stress of the relationship and breakup have subsided, he may realize that he wants you again.



2 - The first step to getting the man of your dreams back is finding a way to convince him that he still wants you. Unless he really, really does not want anything to do with you, then there are a number of options that you can employ from this point on.



3 - When you communicate with your ex boyfriend, be sweet and kind to him but don't be afraid to have a little bit of attitude. You are going to want him to want you, but you're also going to want to give him the feeling that he cannot have you just yet. While playing games is not the best way to go, you do not want give an air of hard to get, making him more interested in the process.



4 - You should be playing a little bit hard to get, but you also want to make sure that he knows you are available. You shouldn't completely rule out the concept of flirting and hanging out with friends, because drumming up a little bit of jealousy never hurt anyone - But it is important that you play it safe because if he doesn't think you are available, he probably will not find the motivation to pursue you.



5 - Avoid acting desperate at all costs. If you act desperate, your ex boyfriend will under estimate you. You are going to want to play things cool, letting him know that you are okay with everything that has happened, and that you are willing to move on. If you act desperate, things won't work out the way you are intending them to, so avoid doing this at all costs.

Answer 6

Just pay your household stuff out of your own pocket, and your ex can pay the rest of childcare expenses such as school fees, clothing, sports, etc with his child support payments and you can provide the receipts.

Don't know how controlling he really is (but why were you with him in the first place if he's really that bad) but I can see why a man would want receipts backing expenses up. Some women don't spend child support toward the child, but rather on haircuts, shoes and smokes.

Answer 7

You people don't know what HARD is. You people don't know anything about the cost and hardship of raising a child on your own. My ex makes over $80,000 a year and he has to pay NO child support. The court only ordered him to maintain health insurance on the kid and the rest was my problem. NO JOKE. I have had to raise my child BY MYSELF on an income of $24,000 a year or less, while my ex works and makes $80,000+. So, you wanna talk about suffering a hard life...honey, you don't know the half of it...at least you get money.

Answer 8

Doesn't he know by law he has to pay you child support? It's not something he can think about. If you took him to court, the judge would be very hard on him. Some men end up in jail for not paying child support.

Does he have the right to ask for receipts? yes and no. Does your child have a roof over his/her head? Is your child being feed and clothed? That's really all he needs to know. If you have to, take him to court. Good Luck

Answer 9

Get in touch with the D.A. and ask for the child support division. They can handle it from there.

Your husband sounds like a real control freak and you're right. You don't have to show him ANY proof of how you're spending child support.

My husband never missed a child support payment but his child was dressed like a little bum while mom always had her nails manicured and she could afford very nice vacations. Good luck.

Answer 10

Uh, maybe you two should have thought about all this, before you decided to throw your marriage away. Seems like it would have been a better deal, had the two of you sat down and worked out your problems, whatever they were. Here's the thing with child support, many times guys think of child support as some kind of punishment, and they resent having to pay it. So yes, many times the guy will want to know where his money is going, like is it all actually going for the child, or is his ex out having a good time with it ? Often times that's exactly what some gals do, they want to party and have good times while the ex is scraping by, and trying to pay them. I suppose many that answer you, will say to get a lawyer or file papers in court, or don't let him see his child until he pays you a bunch of money. I don't know, maybe that will work, and maybe it won't. It's just too bad the two of you didn't put forth some effort to keep your marriage together. Too bad you didn't think about this, before you acted in haste. It's too bad, but anymore these days marriage doesn't mean what it used to years ago. Nowadays it's just too easy for some people to forget all about their marriage vows, and throw their marriage away, like it meant nothing. Here's another idea. Is it too late to put your marriage back together ? Or have you already burnt all the bridges behind you ? Just something to think about.

Answer 11

There is no law that you have to give him receipts for what you are using child support for or that he has any say in it whatsoever.

Answer 12

What is so difficult in producing a receipt if you have used the child's support money for the child's needs?

Answer 13

Go thru the court, plain and simple. Tell him to give you money for school clothes, and stuff like that. show him the reciept.. then take the stuff back and pay your rent. thats what I would do lol.

Answer 14

first off, your ex has a responsibility to pay the child support for the care of your child together. that is why it is court ordered. i cannot believe he can get off scott free. good luck with your situation.

Answer 15

First of all if hes been court ordered to pay and he dont he`ll go to jail....secend whatever you spen the money on is none of his business as long as the child is not doing without..

Answer 16

Sounds EXACTLY like my situation although I told my ex to kiss my butt that he is not getting any damn receipts; that I want damn receipts then of everything he freakn makes and he refused. I told him whats good for me is good for him!!!!!!!!!



I hired an attorney to fight him and I WON! He cannot make you give him receipts and if by chance a jerk judge says you have too.........MOVE OUT OF THAT STATE AND FAST cuz that is privacy issues!!!!! Sue the x if need be! GOOD LUCK!

Answer 17

So why are you debating this with him and then writing novels about it on yahoo? Consult a lawyer, learn your rights, go to court.

Answer 18

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Answer 19

This sounds like something that should be settled in court.