Why do I just fill with rage directed at my husband whenever I do dishes or vacuum?

Question

Whenever I vacuum or do dishes, I feel angry at my husband and in a way, feel degraded.

We share chores around the house, and we both also work. So I feel that things are pretty fair.

However, whenever I start rinsing dishes and put them in the dishwasher, or even remove the dishes from the dishwasher and place them on the shelves, I feel like I might as well be June Cleaver and can feel a wave of anger course through me.

Answer 1

Apparently you've got issues. Why not alternate who does the dishes and vacuuming, so you won't feel so put upon by doing those types of chores. OR you could just accept that your anger is unjustified and get over it. You said yourself "So I feel that things are pretty fair."



Either you aren't telling is the whole story or something else is going on below the surface. Whether you are married or single, the dishes and vacuuming would still need to be done.

Answer 2

Because you are a wife. You are supposed to come to hate and despise your husband. This 'transition' phase that you are going through is what the late psychiatrist A.E. Melkermann postulated would happen if a woman got married without being fully ready. Most wives are ready to belittle their husband, cut off sex, and begin the years-long process of demasculating their husband once married.



You were probably just not fully ready to get married. It'll eventually get better, and the anger will give way to a satisfaction of having lured a man into the clutches of sex-less oblivion hell. Give it time, it will get better.

Answer 3

Probably because another man has entered the picture...



Or it could be because you feel that you don't need to do your part in the relationship.



you feel that you are better than him.



You feel like he should do everything and you should be "entitled". But the problem is you ARE NOT IN LOVE WITH HIM nor are you capable of understanding what love truly is. Love is sacrifice and being understanding. it isn't keeping score of who does what chore. if anything it's selflessness.



Because if you did really love him you'd understand that this is part of the relationship. it's called being respectful and appreciative to your man. Showing him love by having his back. But instead you are filled with hatred. Because you see men who probably promise you things and you feel that you are shackled to this man. When in reality those other men have promised you nothing. Or perhaps it's your gf's filling your head with bs. trying to ruin your relationship because they want you to end alone so that they will have drama to speak of you.



You have a commitment to your man. To hold up your end of the bargain. To be a good woman. To honor your word. To take care of him... Or you can quit like so many other women do these days and get caught up in the never ending cycle of divorce and prove to him why marriage is futile.



in the end it's your choice.

Answer 4

Oh - that would be a fun one to analyze. There's a part of the issue that you probably don't know about - it's unconscious. -like your mother forced you to do these jobs and you've remained angry ever since.



Anyway - it would be fun if you could talk to somebody about it. Unfortunately psychologists are pretty expensive - and lots of them are very poorly trained. But you could try talking it out with a friend.



It might have nothing to do with your husband at all - the anger can shift in the unconscious mind from some old forgotten focus to a new focus (husband/children). And this would leave you wondering why you do it in the first place.

Answer 5

She seemed such a contented woman. Clever, small waist line, respected and admired, could drive, set a table. Bangs.



What's not to like?

Answer 6

Your husband should do everything you should quit your job sit on the couch and he should work clean and feed you grapes and fan you off .....grow up you have to clean your house good god I hope you never have children I don't think you could handle it

Answer 7

you need to divorce and become a bitter old maid you'll still have chores but no-one to blame it on your current pathway is a hellbound train jump off fair warning

Answer 8

you believed the lie of feminist.no man will tel me what to do or say. can you see the rebellion in it?

Answer 9

Quit watching Oprah Winfrey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!