I need to know if my husband is cheating on me but I am scared. Help please.?

Question

First off yes, I know I am not in a good relationship but I need help please. A couple weeks ago I saw some odd behavior with my husband and so I did the naughty and looked on his Facebook messages and saw that he was messaging a woman. Now if it was platonic messages I wouldn't care but he was saying things like "sexy ***" and asking for pics. then at the end there was a message of him asking for pics but with less clothing. After that his drunk *** must have passed out. (He was up drinking all night, his usual weekend thing). I saw on there later (because I needed to know, im sorry) that she messaged that she sent the pics. From then on he has been messaging her all the time. We rarely communicate anymore but he is always talking to her. I have checked our message information multiple times and while I can't see the texts it shows that their texting is nonstop and there have been multiple pictures sent back and forth between them. I need to know what the messages say and what the pictures are so I can decide if I need to leave him. He is never away from his phone anymore and if he is its wither out in his car where he should see me going for it or its never long enough for me to see anything. I would ask him straight out but he scares me. I know he would blow up and scream at me, calling me names and throwing things and making me feel like killing myself. He has done that before. I know its bad but I love him so much and I have no where to go if I leave him. I have three kids, a broke down car and no money. I have been looking for a job but I have had no luck. Is there anything I can do?

Answer 1

Ok but love yourself first, no man should ever yell at a woman, and make her feel like ****. He knows there is nothing you can do, you can't go anywhere without any money.But there are agencies that will help you, and give you a new home, plus a car. But first you have to help yourself. Ok he is cheating on you, even if its not physical. But keeping secrets in a marriage will never work, He hides his phone, he is abusive etc, and you mean to tell me you don't know what to do? Where is you mind at? Do youknow what you have here, you can get his money, and live a stress free life just you, and the kids. Men don't understand that their first mistake is to marry a women, and then cheat. Do you know you can get him for everything he has? Does he even know that? but do he think your just that dumb, if you can prove that he is cheating then you can end up with the house. the kids, and then make him pay you for alimony, with the child support. Please women use your head, You see men don't understand when they cheat they lose, it may hurt you little in the end women, but it darn will hurt them in the end just as bad. Because they will lose everything. Tell him to think twice about it. Just leave his butt, you don't want to spend anymore wasted time with him. Suppose you did that to him, why don't you do the same to him. But if you want to get him for everything then I will wait. DIVORCE his butt. and it dosent matter if he is not cheating, just the abuse and drinking alone should make you want to get outta there. please email me I would love to hear what you decide to do. [e-mail]

Answer 2

Ofcourse there are. Okay firstly it is not a bad thing that you did those things, you were completely right when you did that. Because otherwise you would have felt a sense of guilt inside of you for not being a better wife. Secondly, he shouldnt be the one shouting at you, you should do that. Besides, forget shouting and throwing things (which i know he will do, keeping in mind the kind of man he is), Talk to him politely about it and have a conversation. a real one. NOT RIGHT WAY. i want you to go away somewhere for a vacation. spend your time wisely and give yourself some time and space to think it over. For all you need to know right now is that he IS infact cheating. Because doing all that you said isnt definitely normal in any committed relationship. So take a week or month out with your kids and forget about calling or texting him there. Maybe even take a couple of friends. It will show you a much broader world than what he's kept you in. If he cares enough, he will call you .. If not, go back, confront him and mend things, if possible. I know it sounds hard, but if it does get pretty tough, then leave him. Stand up for yourself and trust me, this one decision of yourself is what your girls will look upto in sha Allah. (I'm talking out of experience). Do message me if you feel the need to talk to anyone :)

Take care.

Answer 3

" I need to know what the messages say and what the pictures are so I can decide if I need to leave him. "



Um.... no you don't. You ALREADY know he was asking her for dirty pictures and that he was telling her how hot she was etc. Now they are talking non-stop.



He has horrible habits. I mean... " (He was up drinking all night, his usual weekend thing "



What kind of guy with three kids just stays up on weekends getting drunk and talking dirty to other women ? Why doesn't he play with his kids, or help you out around the house instead of getting wasted on the weekends like he is some frat boy in college. Ridicules.



I understand your dilemma because if you leave you are broke and will struggle with three kids.



You can always move into an apartment with your three kids and then he has to give you child support. Staying with a guy that disrespects you like that and has nasty drinking habits, is not worth it.



"

Answer 4

First of all, the "he makes me wanna kill myself" part ALONE is enough to leave him whether he's cheating or not. As far as the cheating, you don't need anymore FB evidence then what you already have. He's been CONSTANTLY flirting and trading pics with another woman. What more do you need? I don't care if you have to move in with a relative, get a low paying job and temporary government assistance or get a lawyer and take him to the cleaners. You CAN'T stay in this relationship. GEEZ!

Answer 5

Clearly your only option is to pack up and leave. Do you have any family? Friends? Anyone at all? If not I would just get a job, even though it is hard, and would move out. Is there anyway you could get a based on income place? If all else fails tell him what you found.. if he gets out of control call the cops

Answer 6

If you're scared you must leave. Call you local domestic violence shelter and contact the police if you fear for your safety.



Your children don't deserve to live like this. They should grow up cared for, not living with a violent, perverted angry parent. If you choose to stay, that is your business but you must send your children to a safe place.



Of course he's cheating and is treating you horribly.

Answer 7

I only have one thing to say...why in the hell are you sorry for looking in his facebook? There is nothing naughty about protecting your heart at all costs.



My motto is this...if you think he is cheating...he is. His behavior caused a breach in your trust in him.

Answer 8

this african lady told me: dress pretty, talk sweetly and smell good - do not mention that you know and win him back. if you cring it up .. you will fight and she will win