Huge debate with my husband...Should my tuition come out of my allowance or should it be treated as a bill?

Question

IN DYING NEED OF A 3RD PARTYS OPINION My husband and I are in the middle of a huge debate/argument. I will try to be equal as possible with this question so that you won't just choose sides. The is a "money" issue. Last month after all of our bills were paid we had $450 left. My husband got $350 (he purchased a playstation), I gave our two children $50 each (long overdue) and there was not any extra left for me.

We have agreed that we both will get the same amount of money to shop with so the next time that we have extra money, I will be the one getting it since he has already had his $350.

Well, that time has come. We will have $600. Out of that $600 I will get $179, the children $179 (if you are asking why give money to the children-their needs come before mine) and the rest will go towards tuition and that's were the problem comes in.

My husband wants the extra money and feels that my going to school is a want and not a need and since it is a want and not a need, I should take my allowance and use it to pay my tuition (I'm about to start school so paying for tuition is a new issue as of right now). I say NO. My tuition will be treated as a bill just as his hair cuts and his netflix is added into the bills every month.

Should my tuition come out of my allowance or should it be treated as a bill?

Answer 1

I believe that it is a bill.

I think that next time the issue comes up 'agree' with him, say something like, " Ok honey my tuition will come out of my allowance. But I just want to let you know that after I get my degree ( or whatever it is you are going for) the money I make will be mine and mine alone" My guess is after he sees how ridiculous that sounds he may understand how ridiculous he sounds.

Answer 2

Since your husband got $350 last time, you should get $350 this time, and you should pay for your tuition with that money. Your husband used the $350 to buy something for the family, not just to spend on himself. And since the children got $50 each last time, the most they should get is another $50.00, and your husband should take the rest. If these kids aren't keeping up their grades and helping out at home, they should get less than that; and if they're 16 and over, they need to get jobs!



If you are not working, and you don't qualify for financial aid, you need to look into getting a job to help pay for things like your tuition. Your husband is paying the household bills and providing some of the extras in the home, such as playstations and netflix. He can't do it all. Either use your "allowance" to finance your tuition, or get a job. Kids who are getting $50 and $100 every month should not need a full time babysitter!

Answer 3

"Well, that time has come. We will have $600. Out of that $600 I will get $179, the children $179 (if you are asking why give money to the children-their needs come before mine) and the rest will go towards tuition and that's were the problem comes in."



Sigh...sorry but what do your kids need with $179 or $50 for that matter? There are two things that happen every year for most children:



Christmas

Birthday



On those days they get stuff. The rest of the year they can make good on being fed, clothed and having a place to sleep.



That's how it was when I was growing up and it served me well. If you kids want stuff then they can do chores, earn an allowance, learn to manage their money and buy what they want. Trust me, your kids can learn some valuable lessons if you make them do this.

Answer 4

Holy crap, my husband encouraged me and totally supported my decision to go to school, and in turn, has treated my loan as his own as well, I take some of my extra money and put it on the loan, but for the most part, its a combined bill , however when I do get some extra cash (because I want to pay it off) I slap it on there because it was for me and my education.



My husband saw me going to school as an opportunity to Advance myself professional, network with people in the field, and it honestly made me extremely happy.



You need to talk to your husband, ask him what his issue is , is it with you going to school or is it the money? Or is it both? He sounds extremely selfish to me, if hes out paying PlayStation's and not giving your children some money or an opportunity to earn allowance, or not offering to get your something you need, hes extremely selfish, everyone loves to get toys here and there, but part of being a mature individual is sacrificing the toys for the needs, education in my eyes is a need

Answer 5

It should be treated as a bill. Your both wanting to buy things before taking care of your responsibility's. Tuition is a bill you and your husband should be sharing. He will benefit from your education just as much as you will. Quite with the excessive spending. SAVE

Answer 6

The best way to win this argument.....is to not have it!!! Don't ask him for a cent! Instead, find a modest part time job that will help you cover your tuition. Your husband will first be amazed, then proud of you, and finally ---- he'll pay the tuition partly because of your determination, partly because you are making something of yourself and will eventually increase the family income, and partly because he will admire your resourcefulness!!!

Answer 7

In my opinion it should be treated as a bill. Since you will be going to school , when you finish I'm sure the money you make will go into the house hold pot with the rest of the money.

Answer 8

I think it should be a bill, but I think with that considered, you should cut everyone's allowance...and can't you get loans or anything like that so you can spread out the payments? Why doesn't he think college is a need? Do you have a career goal for which you will need a college degree?

Answer 9

Definitely as a bill. It is selfish of him to see it otherwise. Going back to school is a way for you to better yourself and your family as well. It should be supported by your family, even if it means the kids sacrificing as well. It is definitely not a "want". Your husband is just afraid that it is going to cut into his spending.

Answer 10

And this is why I will NEVER have my money with another man. Causes too many fights. Me and my guy now make our own money and keep it. We have a house account we split 50/50 and the rest is to do with as we wish. Never a fight here!!! Yippie!

Answer 11

Your husband is VERY selfish. I don't get why he thinks that you should "sacrifice" for an EDUCATION. He obviously isn't very supportive of that at all.



I agree with the first poster - your education will lead to income for your family later on, so the "cost" of the education should be a family expense.

Answer 12

your tuition is a bill since it will better the finances in the long run.umm his netflix should not be a bill unles you both watch/pick movies together. that should be his "allowance." he sounds like an ***... sorry..

Answer 13

If your education will lead to increasing the family income, then the family should share the burden. You can also try getting a Fanny Mae loan to help, but try to pay it when you can.

Answer 14

Your schooling is a Bill, as it will benefit the family.

Answer 15

Do you guys not put any money into savings? Also, his netflix is certainly a "want" instead of a "need", and I would make sure to bring that up to him when he starts calling your schooling a "want". *rolls eyes*

Answer 16

It should be treated as a bill.What kind of problem does your husband have,you are trying to better youself.

Answer 17

a bill, because the money you earn from your career will go on bills, right?

Answer 18

NO IT'S TO BETTER YOURSELF AND THERE FORE BETTER THE FAMILY... YOU SPEND MORE ON IT NOW AND THEN LATER YOUR MAKING MORE MONEY FOR THE FAMILY. I SAY BILL SINCE IT'S TO POTENTIALLY BRING MORE MONEY IN, IT'S AN INVESTMENT IN YOUR FAMILYS FUTURE... sorry left caps on

Answer 19

Its a bill! And if your man says other wise.. He isn't a man at all.

Answer 20

i think half and halp I think negociation is a key in a successful marriage and well this well help both of you guys in teh future so it should be half and half.