What point in a relationship with another woman is considered cheating on my wife?

Question

A co-worker and I have been seemingly getting closer and closer to one another. She's a good bit younger than me but we get along really well. At lunch we talk about topics that shouldn't be discussed at work and sometimes I'll pick up the tab to be nice. Other times she'll offer to buy me a coffee while I'm busy with work related issues. She has occasionally called my personal cell to chat or to get together for lunch or coffee. A few times she grabbed my hand when we were out at lunch walking to the restaurant. Kissing has never occurred but a few times it almost did happen. I need some opinions on this situation.

Answer 1

Your behavior is inappropriate for a married man, and you ought to put a stop to it. How would you like it if your wife was doing exactly what you're doing with a male co-worker? You wouldn't like it. Remember: do to others as you would have them do to you.

Answer 2

Her grabbing your hand while walking to lunch is a no no. You have not exactly crossed the line yet but you're close. You are giving this other woman the impression that there is and can be more than just friendship between the two of you. You're doing things with her that can be viewed as your girlfriend. Stop it now.

Would you be bothered if another man started calling your wifes cell phone and asking her out for lunch and coffee if it wasn't work related? Stop it now before it leads any farther.

Answer 3

Something quite like this happened with my husband and a co-worker of his a few months ago...I would say it is getting very very close to that line you don't want to cross. Chatting and going for lunch is something I myself would be ok with but the hand holding and near kisses are completely inappropriate. I think you need to ask yourself how much you value your marriage with your wife and if there is something wrong with your marriage that needs to be fixed before it's too late. It's nice to see that you are taking a step back and questioning whether or not your relationship with this young woman is appropriate or not. I really wish my husband had done the same thing before he crossed over that line. Basically I feel if you wouldn't tell your spouse about it then you probably shouldn't be doing it. And please, for your wife's sake...if you think this relationship with your co-worker is going to go further then just end your marriage...I would have much preferred that kind of pain rather then the trust issues and all of that comes with a situation like this.



Is it worth it? No. Is it cheating? Very nearly...yes.



Good luck.

Answer 4

It has gone too far the moment you have to ask this question. You already know that it has, so man up and cut the string. Love and cherish your wife, she is the one you are promised to. You do not have to ignore this young lady, but you certainly have no business getting that close. I do not mean to come across as "holier than thou", I just am passionate about what I know is in store for you and your wife if this doesn't end. You obviously don't want it either or your wouldn't have posted the question. Be the man God called you to be, and nip this in the bud!

Answer 5

Id say you are already cheating BUT each couple has their own definitions.

My husband and I consider 'anything you purposly dont tell the other one about'... this applies in all areas of our lives.... anything we would hide from eachother is cheating... keep in mind that some forms are more acceptable then others... eg. Kissing another man vs. paying $100 for a pair of shoes but telling my hubby they only cost $40.... both are cheating .. one is easily forgivable once Ive come clean the other....... is not.

Answer 6

it doesnt matter if its technically cheating or not, its terrible and should not be happening. you are at least emotionally cheating, by being close to eachother. you need to confess this all to your wife and you need to do whatever you have to to avoid this other woman, even if it means quitting your job. your marriage is your top priority and we must do everything in our power to avoid the chance of becoming tempted, because marriage is that important. If your wife has trouble forgiving you, which I wouldnt blame her for, get marriage counseling together. do not walk the line any longer with this girl from work, its one of the worst things you could be doing and i honestly feel really sorry for your wife.



Im with Ms. R. on this one. If I was your wife, we would be over. regardless, your wife still deserves to know the truth.

Answer 7

I think you know the answer to your own question but hope someone here might say sure go on ahead and enjoy.



However, you are already enjoying the attention and the intimacy. This is grossley unfair on your wife particualrly as there is clearly a sexual content to this "friendship" simmering below the surface. If you value your wife and your marriage then stop it now. Don't pretent to yourself any longer.

Answer 8

CHEATER, LIAR, PANTS ON FIRE WHEN THE WIFE FINDS OUT.



you have already crossed the line with too many lunch's, phone calls at work, not to mention the fact of holding hands.



hope your wife takes everything from you.. then you get to sleep in a cardboard bx for messing with a co-worker bet you already have just a afraid to write about it.

Answer 9

You are cheating emotionnaly right now.

It's okay to have friends, but when you said that you almost kissed, that's where you know there's something wrong. If you love your wife, you will think about this friendship who might not be good for your mariage.

If you have a little respect for your wife, you'll stop seing this woman "just for fun"...

Answer 10

your past the point, you either need to stop your bullshit behind your wifes back, or tell your wife and be done with her. The grass isn't greener on the other side, I know, I have been there. You like the new attention, and eventually it will wear off. Then you be divorced and miserable. If your wife hasn't done anything, besides being a good wife, she doesn't deserve this.

Answer 11

I think you are almost at that point right now, close to kissing? yes you are now at that point, so back off, and be a good guy, stay true to you wife and yourself it feels much better in the long run, you really don't want to hurt your wife or yourself it's just not worth all the heartache.

Answer 12

You are treading very very dangerous water. Stop lying to yourself and stop hanging out with this woman so much. If you're wife was as gaga over some male co-worker as you are over this chick, how would it make you feel? Decide what your priorities are and stick to them before a crisis occurs. You're fooling yourself and very possibly destroying your marriage without a backward glance.

Answer 13

This is simple.



Would this kind of relationship be okay with you if it were between your wife and a male co-worker of hers?

If so then fine. If not then you need to rethink what you're doing and decide if it's worth destroying your family for.

Answer 14

You are emotionally and socially cheating on your wife. If you feel like you have to keep this relationship secret from her, then you obviously, subconsciously know in your heart that it is wrong. I feel sorry for you when (and she WILL) she finds out. If you are not in love with your wife anymore, than divorce her. Don't become a lying, cheating snake.

Answer 15

In my opinion, you're about to get some sweet young tail soon. One thing you need to be sure to do is COVER YOUR TRACKS. Come up with good alibis whenever you are with her. Maybe tell your wife that you got a promotion that will involve more business trips. You may want to even ask your wife if she wants in on the fun but thats probably taking too much of a chance. Good job man, it sounds like you are in for some fun!

Answer 16

You are right on the line with cheating on your wife. You need to back away from your "girlfriend" before you take the next step.

Answer 17

Would you think its fine for your wife to do what you are doing.Yes you are cheating emotionally on your wife plus spending money on her and talking about forbidden subjects.Come on what you are doing is wrong.

Answer 18

anything you wouldnt do infront of your wife is consider cheating ,, and why do you have this girl holding your hand you alll are practically dating ,, u all men like find ways of stating that you are not cheaters drop the girl and go home to your wife...

Answer 19

the fact you are hanging around with another woman you are heading for distruction. how would you feel if she was doing the same thing at work. well stop this now before you loose your family.

Answer 20

Did you tell your wife any of this? If you can't tell your wife, you have already crossed the line.



And to keep this up is only going to make matters worse.

Answer 21

i am a wife... and if my husband did what you are doing, it would be over.



you are cheating in your heart with thoughts of being with another woman.

Answer 22

Seinfeld said it.



As soon as the n**ple makes an appearance.

Answer 23

you are a grown man right? well then u know that it is cheating!

Answer 24

I bet you know the answer!

Answer 25

Cheating is wrong ..Don't go there..

Answer 26

it isn't cheating until you get caught