Doomed marriage what should I do!?

Question

I am 31 years old, and have been married for almost 4 years. I am contemplating divorce. My psychiatrist thinks I should. My husband has put golf first in our lives since we started dating. It got to the point that I felt neglected and lonely. It was like he was having an affair with the golf club. He also can be very condescending and belittling. We had a conversation about it FINALLY, and he said he wanted to work it out and that he loves me, but I think it is too late. I don't feel I am in love with him. This has been going on for most of our marriage and even before hand. Having sex with him repulses me. I am afraid however to be alone and afraid to stay in this marriage and be miserable the rest of my life. I am scared that I am 31 and will be alone the rest of my life. I want children and a family very much. I don't know what to do. Risk being alone to hopefully find true happiness or settle, stay comfortable in a loveless marriage. PLEASE HELP!

Answer 1

NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, settle! Everyone deserves to be happy and you are not. He has put golf above you all these years and still wants you to stay? Convenient for him I would say. He may say he still wants to be with you and loves you, but has he actually done any actions to show you that? There is someone out there that can love you, make you feel loved, and make you happy, it may take some time to find him, but it will be well worth the wait. Good luck.

Answer 2

Leave him for sure! Please you deserve so much better. Don't be afraid just because you're 31 and afraid to be alone. 31 is not even old .. you are still young. Trust me. Get yourself together, go out with friends, exercise, eat healthy, pick up a hobby, go back to school, work more, anything .. do things for yourself. You need to get your self-esteem up and your confidence back girl. F*** him - life is too short to short change yourself. Please ... you know in your heart he is not right for you and that you're miserable. It most likely wont get better. Don't waste 5 years. Look at it this way .. people make mistakes. Get a divorce and it's done and over with. You learned from it right. That's life. People everyday make mistakes .. take it as it is .. and move on. You still have the rest of your life ahead of you. And there are some HOTTIES your age too....don't ever let him bring you down ... dont let anybody make you frown or upset ... who are they .. NOBODY if they make you unhappy and treat you like crap! That's some BS. Divorce his *** so fast and move on ...there are good men around your age that are probably feeling the same as you and would love to find a woman like you and start a family. It's a big *** world out there .. don't make your ****** husband your world.



Good luck - keep in touch if you like and update me.

Answer 3

In my opinion, divorce him if you are unhappy and theres no chance of working in through. You should be #1, not golf. There are plenty of 30 yr. old singles and looking for someone too. You will be fine alone and you will get through the rough times. Pick up an activity you like to entertain your time.

Answer 4

Girl get out. I know how ya feel my ex put his work before me and never wanted to spend time with me and when I told him i was leaving he cried and said he love me. BE STRONG. You CAN do this! I did now I am re-married as happy I can be and Had a baby 8 months ago!! Good Luck Girl!! Remember Women are fighters and they are strong!!

Answer 5

Run, and don't look back. I am 33, divorced last year, I left because i was not happy. Trust me you will find someone who deserves you. If a man can't be with you and show you his true love then he isn't worth it at all. Run Hun, run!

Answer 6

Maybe try separation first and see if he is willing to get marriage counseling with you...sometimes time apart makes the heart grow fonder...have you ever played golf with him...

Answer 7

GET OUT OF IT NOW !!