What to do when "I'm sorry" becomes meaningless?

Question

How would you deal with someone who routinely ignores you, tunes you out, disregards what's important to you (because it's unimportant to him)?

I'm well-aware that all of us have much too much on on plates (and minds), and I don't expect people to hang onto my every word or deed, but it is so hurtful to me when things I say are clearly tuned out. I stop speaking mid-sentence to see if he's really listening; he has never, ever noticed.

Yes, I've tried many, many times to sensitize him by telling him how hurtful it is to me. He apologizes -- genuinely seems contrite -- but unfailingly repeats the insulting, demeaning behavior.

I'm sick of the I'm-sorries, sick from being ignored, and just don't know what to do.

Answer 1

I say take that adorable orange kitty in your picture and cuddle with it. That will make you feel better

Answer 2

Hello Macguffin.I am sorry to hear about your delima. I think we all have , at times , felt as though we were being ignored and chances are , we we right. I'd like to add that there are people , and many more than you'd believe , that are mentally multi-tasked . Where as , most people have difficulty talking and chewing gum , these folk can accomplish numerous tasks as they prepare dinner. First off , Is Mr. Macguffin , one of those people ? I mean is he abled to accomplish much more that you thought he'd be abled to do in most situations. I don't mean , his organizational skills. Anyone , with some managerial skills can deligate and appear as though they are a genius. What I'm asking is about an extended period of time. For instance , over a month or so , as daily conversations continue into many subjects and some involving chores...etc that must be accomplished , do they suddenly happen ? Again , I'm not speaking about simplistics , like the garbage or the garage. Important issues that will impact some lasting endeavor ? Is he somehow abled to pull these things together in an almost miraculous fashion ? Please understand that I am in no way attempting to discount your concern nor am I trying to make excuses for his behavior. I believe that an apology ought represent ones sincere desire to verbally guarantee that every attempt will be made to assure that this apology won't have to be repeated. If it is encountered again then those efforts will be greately increased to make certain they never become problematic. For a problem to become a habit , means that no effort has been given and the meaning of the apology becomes useless. The worst case senario into this catagory are the people that blatantly offend you with an apology that goes something like this :" Hey Mrs. Macguffin , I am really sorry for my actions. I normally don't act that way but when you ......ect." Heard it before ? As if you had somehow had the power over that person to cause them to act irrationally . So , to answer your question ,If he is not the mental genius I spoke of in the beginning then he must be without feelings. This is especially true if you have told him about the way you feel and it has fallen upon deaf ears. I'm sorry to say that the recommendation is not good but chances are that he is not willing to change for you or the relationship. Unfortunately , this is probably the way he has been for a long time and until he faces up to it , then nothing you can do , or say , will matter. You need to seperate yourself from this behavior before you are emotionally scarred. The world is full of cold , callosed and uncaring people but we aren't required to become one of them. Good Luck. I hope this has helped.

Answer 3

You have tried your best and it has not worked, things seem to not matter to him, Since this question was posted in the marriage section I assume you are married? You may want to seek some kind of counseling, OR try to sit down with him and ask HIM what the deal is on his end, what are his feeling, needs and wants and then if you guys are not on the same page, then it is definatly time to move on.

You mention "repeats the insulting, demeaning behavior." That sounds like an emotional abuse kind of thing happening and he is being hurtful and disregards you, there is a lack of respect and afterall, couples need to be a team, 50/50 or it will not work. You can hold different roles and different positions but in the end you should have the same common goal and desire for life in general.



Respect needs to go both ways, seems he is shutting down or shutting you out and there may be a bigger reason behind that, Are there problems with his career? Or maybe his family? Depending on your ages and place you are in life, you may be more mature than he is and more ready for things that he is not ready for... or he may be more of a career minded person and only thinks of those kinds of things.

Communication may help get into it a bit more as far as his behavior and actions, there may be a way you can work things out and come to a middle where you will both be happy.



If not, and if everything has been exhausted then unfortunatly it is time to move on, life is far too short to waste on a dead end thing.

Answer 4

Dude, crying does help, only figure others are not helping yet you do not apreciate being observed. Love will teach you so much, let your feelings go, say what you have left to the hurting person and truth will dawn to you: she loves you, what you are is important and no matter what, after this lonely time everything is the way you like it and the way others work it out too. Apologizing is never meaningless because there is always someone you love on the other side, if that person does what he or she does is because of being confortable and amiable. Take a joke and blame the devil. It is hard sometimes, do not take the examples, they are never worth it.

Answer 5

When sorry becomes meaningless it means its high time step ur foot and move on,becuz its not working.

When someone routinely ignores U or disregards U it means that that person is a piece of ****.He doesn't share that feeling for U as U do.He seems to be having personal affair issues with others which has been kept secret from U and his mates do know it.

Well,when he is getting his cake to eat why should he bother.Deaf ears is a method of not caring and lack of empathy from that person towards U.

He seems to not have found that spark of love feelings either from his end for U.Shows lack of interest.

Well your last question is simple,how do u want to live your life and get yourself treated?

You got to talk to your guy with the help of parents or close friends help or personally your'll both have to discuss your issues and come to terms & resolve.Or the next choice is what & how wud U do things to make U happy.Only U can decide that.

Remenber u r born to deserve the Best becuz u r the best!!!!

Answer 6

One word: Boundaries!



Start coming up with "Plan B's" by writing notes and leaving them there where they can be found, ask him to repeat back what you said, take them to have their hearing checked (my husband is actually partially deaf!), and treat them the way you want to be treated. If none of those work, see a Therapist, and if that doesn't work, just go on with your life!!!



Do you honestly can't function your own life without him? Have you instilled you identity upon him? Look up the definitions of "Enabler" and "Co-Dependency". Once you can remove yourself from those definitions, get over him and move on. Don't terminate the relationship, just get out and enjoy life. However if you should decide that you are a prize to be won, then find someone who will give you the attention you deserve. There are much more better choices and options out there for you!!!



The frequent sorries mean as much as the paper they are written on. Saying it and meaning it are two different things. He knows he can say it without it bringing about change in his mindset! If he was sorry, he would do the changing and not expect you to accept an empty sorry.



God bless you!

Answer 7

I love this question, and need to say how badly I feel that you are being ignored, by someone who can behave a little nicer toward you. Have you tried to explain to this person what the difference between "I'm sorry and I apologize" are many people don't know the difference. I'm sorry is that you willfully and without any care for that persons feelings caused them emotional or physical pain. An apology means that you were in error but it was not willful, accidental. It seems that this person doesn't care about your feelings, that is not fair to you. You need and deserve someone who will listen and care about your feelings. If you want things to change, then lay it out on the table. Making sure the person understands that you aren't playing around. Things need to change is a good starter.

Answer 8

Communication is important for any relationship. But just like everything else in a relationship it has to be a two way channel and both of you must want it. Try to find out more about what sort of things he might actually find interesting to discuss and try to be interactive as much as possible instead of just chirping away (I mean it in an affectionate way). Once you know if it is an issue of if he is not interested in what you are saying or simply he is not interested in you at all no matter what you talk about then it is time to really evaluate if you should go on with your relationship. But make sure you get down to the roots and facts and don't jump into conclusions at the heat of the situation. You say we all have a lot in our minds, so why don't you start by finding out what is in his mind so important or drastic that could cloud your words out?

Answer 9

Even if your common interests are on the short side, the things that are truly important to you should not be ignored. It's forgivable for an occasional slip, but constantly ignoring you? Right after being "apologised" to, tell him what you wanted to talk about earlier. If you get tuned out, then it's time to be independant and move on.

If he genuinely pays attention, follow up with agreeing to spend a couple minutes every day to specifically talk to each other about what's happening. Wait until that time to talk about the important stuff. Also, be sure to give him his chance to speak. If things still don't start improving even then, you really need to move on.

Finally, only go to counselling if you're both interested. Forcing him would only make things worse.

Answer 10

If you get tuned out, then it's time to be independant and move on.

If he genuinely pays attention, follow up with agreeing to spend a couple minutes every day to specifically talk to each other about what's happening. Wait until that time to talk about the important stuff. Also, be sure to give him his chance to speak. If things still don't start improving even then, you really need to move on.

Finally, only go to counselling if you're both interested. Forcing him would only make things worse.

Answer 11

Well it seems that you have exhausted any options that you yourself can do. The next step to someone who is so unresponsive would be to go to couples counseling or marriage counseling if this is in fact your husband or bf which I think he is.



That is the only option left - find someone, make an appt and take him with you - if need be don't tell him where you are going. If he is totally not willing to this may be the end of your relationship. He is not giving you what you need at all and relationships are based on communication, trust, and respect and it sounds like maybe all or at least 2 of those are not present in this relationship.



It sounds like you have been patient and I feel for you - I am sure you are hurting. You have to give yourself credit for trying so hard over and over again. Things will get better but you have to find some way to get through to him or give him some space and maybe he will realize it himself if you stop mentioning it -

Answer 12

An apology doesn't mean a thing unless the same actions are attached. He evidently doesn't care and is just saying sorry to get you to hush up! If he cared he would say sorry and change the behavior that he is sorry for. You either put up with it or get his attention in a big way and tell him that if his actions don't change in that area then you will have to do some adjusting on your own! If he is listening he will ask what your plans are. If he isn't listening -walk out! You can find someone who will love you and respect you. You do not have to live like this. Best wishes!

Answer 13

Hi Dear,



I am sorry to hear about your hurt. Well, what you're seeing or feeling is a signal that it is time to do a countermove. You've got to turn your back on what is causing you harm. It is basic instinct to preserve youself, whether emotionally and psychologically, from anything that is not contributing to your well-being as a person. You are the most important person on earth. Love yourself and don't put up with the I'm sorries because it is obviously not genuine. For all you know, he or she is having fun doing you harm. Don't give him or her the benefit of the doubt. It is a bad behavior he or she has chosen to act out toward you and you shoud make it clear to the other party that you know it and won't be fooled by any fake contritition. Strive to focus on other people, instead.

Answer 14

Is this person your spouse? If so get counseling, now. You shouldn;t be treated like that and the apologies are getting old. Actions speak louder then words. If this person is a friend or a girl/boyfriend you may want to consider the affects on your self confidence. You have a great deal to offer and deserve to be respected and heard. It doesn't sound like a two way street where each party is giving to the other. I would guess this isn't the only area the person is selfish in. Good luck.

Answer 15

The question is, do you really want to be around someone like that?? Maybe you should take a piece of paper, write down all the positives about him on one side, and negatives on the other, if there are a good amount of negatives more than positives then that makes it obvious, but maybe you shouldn't even have to do that at all. This doesn't sound like a good relationship and it might just get worse. Find someone who will treat you right, someone who will say, 'why did you stop speaking mid sentence!?!' :)

Answer 16

When answering a question, I try to look at all sides and this is what I've come up with:



1. You haven't mentioned your partner's age. If he's elderly, it may be that he's suffering from dementia. If he's young and truly seems genuine about these episodes of "not hearing" you, he could be suffering from a form of epilepsy or seizures. In either case, he needs to see a doctor immediately.



2. Is he like this with others or just with you? If this happens only with you, then you without a doubt you have a problem that needs to be addressed with a marriage counselor. Discuss the facts with him and give him an ultimatum... either he goes to counseling with you or he leaves. Relationships can't exist without being nurtured nor can they continue with one person doing all the work. One way or another this can't continue, so find out now what your future is going hold, (life with him or without him).



By the way... if #2 is the problem, just remember, you deserve so much more than he is giving you right now.

Answer 17

I just ended a 4 year relationship that was almost a carbon copy of what you describe. It was the most painful thing for me to let him go. But it was more painful to be with him. If you see the "signs" already as what you describe and the one that stuck out the most to me was when you wrote, "disregards what's important to you (because it's unimportant to him), That says a great deal of where you stand in this persons life. Please do not sell yourself short for the sake of having someone in your life. You don't deserve the crumbs he might throw your way. You are entitled to be treated with dignity and respect. I learned the hard way to finally let my someone go, because he showed me time and time again how very "un" important that I was to him. Life is too short to spend it jumping through hoops to please someone who is obviously not in tune with you on any level. I have had those same apologies and time and time again, the same behavior would occur. You write very well, come across as a highly sensitive and caring person and you deserve a hell of alot more than you are getting. Go for it.. Have the courage to move on. You can do it. It just takes that first step. Move on and don't look back. Good luck!!!!

Answer 18

Wow! you got a lot of answers to this one. Well.. here's one more with a little different twist.

First of all what ever you do don't nag! That turns every ones receptors off.

Now, It sounds like you are describing a teenager. If he is your son, don't take it personal, it is normal. But that doesn't mean you have to accept it. A councilor once told me to hand some of the responsibility back on the child. They need to help out in their own upbringing, you know handling their own laundry etc. If not, hold them accountable by saying no to all those little favors they ask of you. Be creative. And stick to your guns politely but stay firm in the "no". Reward good behavior with a few "yes"s.

If this is an adult, you can still handle it the same way and then continue on with treating yourself good. Keep yourself busy with positive hobbies etc. But again stay firm in your "no" s.

If it is a boyfriend and there are no kids involved, dump him. He may wake up and change, or not, but you deserve better than that, don't you.

Answer 19

From someone who is a little older , probably....I know that feelings can be hurt all too quickly, however , is the problem that you are ALWAYS "tuned-out" ? or perhaps maybe you have felt the need to manipulate every conversation to the point where the other person has gotten to the point of "uh-huh" ing you so that you will eventually see that there are others in the room with just as important issues that they may like to have you listen to as well ?

"Testing" someone is a sure way to make sure that you succeed in doing the EXACT thing you are trying NOT to do.....getting ignored...

Answer 20

Hmmm.....Here I am afraid I will sound a book nerd. You lack Presence. Presence? What is it? Look into a good psychology book. If he is ignoring you this means you do not have enough presence. His apologies only implies that he still is interested despite this serious weakness of yours!

How to increase presence? Look into a interesting psychological book like "You've only got three seconds : how to make the right impression in your business and social life" or may be "The mind Gym". Try it. If he don't listens to you then most probably no one will.

It may also be due to the simple fact that you want to be with him so bad that you humiliate yourself before him. You should start taking a little stand here. Stand up for yourself. Learn to say no. As simple as that!

Answer 21

Being a minister and a husband who is sadly familiar with this extremely common issue I would like to say this.

The source of this issue is usually when one person feels nagged by his / her partner all the time, that feeling leads to tuning out because of the negative reenforcement of verbal interaction always being him / her thinking that no matter what they say in response to you will always bring about a negative response from you.

My wife practiced a great amount of long suffering here because I tuned her out quite often without even realizing it. This continued for a long time until we came up with an amicable solution.

We decided to find certain times in the day to communicate with one another while no other distractions were around ( I.E. TV, Kids, etc. ), and agreed to listen without thinking of anything else at the moment.

The more we practiced this the more I learned to like my wife again, and communicating with her, and vice versa. Now we no longer need scheduled communication sessions, we are extremely interested in what each other has to say.

Both parties have to realize its not about just themselves here, both hold responsability and these things don't happen overnight. These are learned behaviors and built up walls of self defense and must be unlearned and torn down. GOOD LUCK

Answer 22

Thus far, you've been given some good answers. And I agree that if this is a non-marital relationship with no kids then it may be time to walk. If you want to try something different, try waiting until he willing gives you his attention. When he is focused on you, then its time to talk. Give him three chances to change. If he doesn't then you may be looking at a lifetime of this. Now, as the single mother of a nine year old boy, let me tell you something. I've noticed as he gets older he listens differently. Its like he just listens to key words or something even if this makes his own life harder. "Son will you go in the garage and get me some bleach"? He comes back with dryer sheets. It may take him three tries because his internal focus is on something different. So if he just got off work and is just trying to relax, this is not the time to discuss anything important.

Answer 23

For some, the words "I'm sorry" come easy and mean very little. I think I would be tempted to write such a person a longish letter expressing my frustration at such behavior. Something on the order of "it's not just a polite formality. I really want to know that you've come to regret what hurt me, and not simply the fact that I was hurt."



See, when some people say "I'm sorry," it seems like "I'm sorry you found it necessary to mention your offended feelings to me. I am sorry I have to be bothered by your hurt." And those are just the people who, when confronted, will respond with "OK, then; I'm NOT sorry! Do you like that better?"



Wouldn't it be nice if people could really talk about these sorts of things, instead of just having conditioned emotional responses?



[Now I'm sorry I am starting to sound like a scientologist here. I assure you I am anything but.]

Answer 24

Hi, although I don't know how to help you, I could tell you jokes to help you feel better. The jokes goes:



-Doctor! I have a serious problem, I can never remember what i just said.

-When did you first notice this problem?

-What problem?



One more joke:



A guy calls his vet and says "What should I do with my cat?Vet says "What do you mean? Guy says "I had a leak in my lawnmowers gas tank and the cat drank the gas. Then the cat began to run around and around the yard, climbed a tree. then fell out of the tree stiff. Vet says "Is the cat dead? Guy replies "nope he ran out of gas.



Last of all just want to tell you that whatever you do, just don't give up. Also you must love and care for the people around you. In that way they will also show you the love that you show to them. Just be yourself and happy everyday. Wish you all the best and good luck!!

Answer 25

You need to love yourself first before being able to love him, do smthing that will make you happy and try to show him that you can do much better without him nWay, don't push any more you will end up hurting urself, He will step to the plate when He finds out that u can do without him. When u want to bring up an issue never direct it to him and in a negative Way,instead put it like' I like it when you give me your opinion' that Way He won't feel guilty which will bring affection. You can try this too 4 more http://lovingrelationship.org/com/ hope it will help

Answer 26

Now, as the single mother of a nine year old boy, let me tell you something. I've noticed as he gets older he listens differently. Its like he just listens to key words or something even if this makes his own life harder. "Son will you go in the garage and get me some bleach"? He comes back with dryer sheets. It may take him three tries because his internal focus is on something different. So if he just got off work and is just trying to relax, this is not the time to discuss anything important.

Answer 27

Okay, I'll help you with some market research. :-) I look for a brand of paint that is as non-toxic as possible. I decide on matte, semi gloss, etc. Then I try to get as large of a color swatch as possible, looking at it in different types of lighting, both near and across the room. I try to imagine the color on the whole wall. If I have a towel or piece of clothing that is similiar in color, I will also hold that up to the wall. If I'm in doubt as to which shade, I go for the lighter one. I sometimes buy a small can and try a sample first, particularly if the color is not neutral.

Answer 28

why don't u try and cut off from him?not permanently but just for a little while to see exactly what standing u have in his life and whether u are important to him at all.it will be very tough and u'll probably feel urself breaking down but trust me if u are just a little strong it will do u a world of good.if he comes back to you and asks for another chance give it to him for the last time and this time he'll take it seriously coz he'll know that u are strong enough to leave him since u've already done it once.if he dosent then u will have ur message loud and clear.he doesent want u and neither should u in such a situation coz it dosent help to waste ur precious emotions on someone who has no regard for them.heres wishing u all the best for the future.

Answer 29

It sounds as if you and your significant other may need marital (joint) counseling. People who act selfishly or are inconsiderate don't seem to notice they are making someone else unhappy unless being told they are doing so. As the behavior is repetitive, it does not seem that the person you are dealing with is taking responsibility for his actions-which is a sign of immaturity (no matter what the person's age). You deserve to be heard and respected, treated as someone loved and cared for.



If he refuses to seek counseling with you, I suggest trying counseling alone and let the counselor help you decide what to do next. People only change when they are ready-he may unfortunately never be. It is then up to you to decide what you're willing to put up with and whether or not you need to walk away, albeit a difficult and complex decision.



Speaking of counseling, there are many affordable options available: some providers often receive payment on a sliding scale, based on your financial situation and/or insurance options. If you have health insurance, call your provider to see what can be covered. You may need to seek indivdual cousneling first, then have your significant other attend in order to recieve the insurance assistance. Most places or worship offer counseling as well, especially when concerning couples and/or families. The person doing the counseling usually has a degree in counseling and may use a faith-based approach to help solve your dilemma. I suggest searching "couples counseling and your state" for the best provides in your area. I have linked the pastoral counseling directory from Yahoo below.



Remember, you deserve to be heard and respected, treated as someone loved and cared for.



Good luck to you.

Answer 30

I think you do know what to do. You are realizing that this relationship will not be one that you can live with for the rest of your life. Remember the old saying "the definition of insanity is repeating the same thing over and over again and expecting different results".



The kindest thing to say is that he is just not capable of being there for you as you want. That's cool - you just need to update your list of things you want in a man and move on. Have no fear - the new is always greater than the old.



Peace!

Answer 31

Is this person your significant other??. Heaven help you. You are being treated like crap. If he is either your " significant other", or a "friend" you need to value yourself, and remove yourself from the situation. If he does not have enough respect for both himself and you to even attempt to listen to you when you talk; you can certainly talk to yourself by yourself. Constant apologizing does not mean anything, if he is not learning to listen to you with respect; and change. When you feel insulted and demeaned, it is because you are being insulted and demeaned. That is not something that we build up within our own selves, it is placed there by others. Remove yourself from this situation, you are not really there in his mind anyway. There is nothing worse than feeling alone with others. It might be a good idea for you to get some counseling, just for your own health and mental will being. Good luck and have a good night.

Answer 32

Do you know that what you think about your bring about? I am not saying in any way this is your fault. What I am saying is that you think about this so much that more of it is happening. Try this...Start thinking of his GREAT attributes. I know it is hard but try. You are with him for a reason or many reasons, concentrate on those and you will see how more of THAT will happen. It is the Law of Attraction. Go right now and pick up the movie "The Secret" you will learn how we hold EVERYTHING in our heads. Make a "happy" story of your reality. Remember we all live in perceptions of our reality. What you see does not mean that is what it is, I can see the exact same thing and because I have a different perception of life see it completely different. Humor yourself, try to view everything around you even your husband in a beautiful, positive perception and WATCH how great your day will be. I can promise this, you will see life with clear eyes and at the very least feel confident to make important decisions :) Good Luck.

Answer 33

Then if you are really that sick, do something to change it now and stop complaining!!!



Plain and simple! You were not created to be a doormat, unless you think so.



You need to teach him a lesson, he no longer respects you, and he is not willing to change, how about you? Do you respect and have enough love for yourself to leave him and stop having a dysfunctional relationship? If so, then do so, what's holding you back?

You need to mean business, if you don't things always get worse, especially if he is insulting you, obviously he has major issues and baggage, so why don't you work on yours alone and seek counseling, your church or therapy for this, if you leave him, he will have a chance to evaluate things and take inventory of all his actions, behavioral patterns, nastiness, and sick demeanor, it is all up to you.



I don't understand how women such as yourself continue to destroy themselves in unfit relationships, that assures a low self esteem and minimizes them as women, where is your integrity and dignity, but most of all self respect and love? If you still have an ounce of any of these left then do something and do it now. I've seen many women who let men control them, mistreat them, manipulate them and ultimately destroy their lives, I have seen it and I'm not exaggerating. So you have the answeres they are within you. Come out and be free!!

Answer 34

It sounds like you need someone who is more communicative, more interested in what you and people in general are saying. If there is a huge temperamental difference, it may be best to end the relationship decently and look for one that suits your needs better.



The behavior may not be intended as insulting or demeaning. Some people are very good with friends or lovers who need a lot of attention and input, and some people are not. Maybe he's not.

Answer 35

Until you're in a jail cell with this man, there is a door that opens at your will. It's time to use it. Start making plans. Start separating yourself from this person financially, emotionally and then physically. He considers you a possession that has been bought and paid for just like the furniture. This will not change no matter what you do. He will say whatever is necessary to make you conform to his comfort zone and as soon as you do he'll go back to the same old pattern. Save yourself lots of frustration, kiss his guy good bye and go make yourself a life.

Answer 36

If he's your BF, I'd move on. He's not husband material. If he IS your husband, I'd leave him alone for a while. He may be thinking you're too sensitive and has tuned you out and doesn't realize how hurtful he's being b/c you want him to constantly pay attention to your needs.

Answer 37

The average man, I read in a study, has to be told something three times before it registers to him. This is not a lack of intelligence or concern, it is just how the male brain works. Men are just less tuned into words than women.



Before anything else, have his hearing tested If that is OK, then follow this procedure:



First you have to get his attention, then look him squarely in the eye and tell him what you have to say. Do this three times.



If he still doesn't hear you, he just doesn't care.



Put up with it or get ridda da bum! He ain't gonna change.

Answer 38

Do you want to stay in a relationship with this man? You are only going to hurt more if you stay. He is not going to change. He is not into this relationship like he should be. I would leave and find someone who will listen to me and be there for me. You have done your best and tried your hardest. Now it's time for you to heal and move on. Take some time for you before jumping into another relationship, though. Pamper yourself and get to know you all over again. This way you will be more aware of who you fall for next and remember what Judge Maybelline always says "Look deep before you leap".

Answer 39

Try couples counseling & get a final answer. If the other party doesn't want to participate, then you know where their head is at & you can continue counseling on your own for yourself because it takes time to heal after you have been through an abusive relationship. I know, I was in one for 17 years & this type of man CAN change, yet rarely does. You need to be around people who can relate & get you on the right track again because you have become as much of a victim as he has in this relationship. Be prepared for the best & be ready to accept the worst. You may need to get a divorce & this will be almost as painful as the relationship has been.

Answer 40

Well perhaps try a different approach.

Rather than assuming that he is listening to you, and you should therefore share your feelings, think about whether he is currently in deep thought about something else.



He could be in the garage thinking how to solve a problem, and therefore didnt realize that you walked out to speak to him.



Maybe he is watching something on television that he finds very interesting, and is therefore not aware of anyone around him.

In this case, if you were to wait until a commercial, he would have stopped concentrating so hard.



As far as his apologies to you, he may be sincere, but it does not mean that he is capable of controlling how engrossed in a subject he may become. He therefore will do it again. Apologizing should not be understood as a promise to not repeat his actions.



Lastly, you just might be the type of person that requires more personal attention on a daily basis than he is capable of providing. Some men may refer to you as "high maintenance". Thats not necessarily a bad thing, it just means that you need to be with someone that is capable of providing you with the attention that you require.



You may need to evaluate the pros and cons of your relationship to determine how important this problem is to you. This will ultimately help you decide whether you should continue this relationship.



Good luck.

Answer 41

You mention "repeats the insulting, demeaning behavior." That sounds like an emotional abuse kind of thing happening and he is being hurtful and disregards you, there is a lack of respect and afterall, couples need to be a team, 50/50 or it will not work. You can hold different roles and different positions but in the end you should have the same common goal and desire for life in general.

Answer 42

I'm sorry can only go so far. As a man, I make a mental note to not do w/e it was I did to have to say it. I know its hard to even think of divorce, specially if you have been married a long time. After 22 years, I took the leap. Yes it was hard, Yes I still think about it, even after 2 years, But I know when I filed, It was the right thing to do. Someone loves and respects you out there, Let go and let them find you. GL

Answer 43

To start with the name you have choosen(Macguffen) to discribe yourself as questionaire may be a key to the advice your seeking.

Of course it's always possible that's simply a coincidence but somehow I doubt it.

Anyway, it sounds to me like your somewhat of an enigma. You sound like a bright girl dealing with someone who's much more willing to watch a good football game than to sit and discuss world peace or global warming and it's driving you nuts.

But he doesn't want to, not only not with you but not with anyone. He's an equal opportunity non provider of non attention to uninterested interests.

I have news for you, thats about 98% of the planet.

So. You can't fight city hall.

The oddest combinations of people often make the best of friends. Look for the things that attracted the two you in the first place. Get a girl friend to talk too.

Maybe he's solid as a rock and loves you to death and probably wishes he had the interests you want him to have.

By the mear fact he tunes out , obviously they're things unimportant to him. He has you for those things. He relies on you and your all he really cares about. Taking you for granted may be his security blanket. Be careful, if you really disturb that you may not be happy with the results.

And, to get back to his likes. Let's assume it is football. Are you ready to do the same, throw out some your interests?

You wanna get all warm and interlectually cuddily over the stratergies of a football game.? Well, are you?

You know whats good for the goose is good for the gander...

or something like that,

OK,so, maybe he's not all things. Hey, guess what, none of us is.

And even if that were possible, and he was, you'd probably make a very boring couple.

If you guy's have this much time to talk to each other and watch football, your really missing out on which room you should be spending more time together in.

Probably not a hell of a lot of help but what the hell, it's free

Answer 44

No deep philosophical or psychological answer here: you just shouldn't be living with or around someone who routinely ignores you.

Even if you did something bad to him, there's no excuse for it.

Either he's using this behavior to punish you emotionally for some wrong you did, or he truly doesn't care about you anymore (never did?).

I don't know your relationship with him, or other details of your life, but it's time to move on and find someone you can really share your life with who will also share his life reciprocally.

I hope you find Mr. Right before this guy traps you in this relationship (with a child, residence, financial support, etc.).

Answer 45

I am in a similar situation and understand that it is not as easy to rid yourself of the person. This morning I woke up and laid in bed trying to figure out how to get this person out of my life. I have already figured out that he is not going to change and that he does not care. I plan to make a list of all the hurtful things he has said and done. Then when I begin to feel like I want to be nice to him again, I plan to read the list and remember why I want this person out of my life. I also intend to find some new hobbies by doing stuff I have always wanted to do but never had the chance. Good luck with the difficult man in your life, I hope this helps.

Answer 46

There are many good answers here. I'm sure this won't be the best one you read. Just ask your self this question.



What's got his attention? Is he on the computer? Watching TV? Is it possible he has a hearing problem he might not be telling you about?



I was ashamed to tell my (now ex)girlfriend I had a hearing problem, In part because I was in denial myself. We almost broke up over it. But then she noticed that I kept ignoring her while watching TV, but would pay attention to her when the volume is muted. She forced me to go to a doctor and have it looked at.



Now I wear a hearing aid. And she is still a good friend. Only we live on opposite sides of the country

Answer 47

Unless you really like the abuse,(and you must). Kick his butt to the curb, learn to love yourself, set specific boundaries of what you will and will not tolerate in a relationship, then maybe you can get into another relationship. Until you learn to love yourself, you are going to be an open target for every scumbag. Stop trying to think you can change someone, why waste your time?Do you really NEED a boyfriend so bad that you are willing to compromise yourself. Come on girl, get out the gutter and move on.

Answer 48

What does your heart tell you to do? What part of the relationship are you in? Do you love him? Does he love you? I'd say if it were a marriage or deep relationship (2 plus years) and you are living with each other and he really does want to be more in tune with you, then you need to seek couple counseling.



Divorce is so heartbreaking and men quite honestly don't communicate like women do. They think we talk so much that it's hard for them to discern what is important versus what is not important. Plus, what is important to us, is not necessarily to them. I am the sister of three brothers and the mother of three sons and I have been married twice. Once divorced, once widowed. I don't have all the answers, but if he really loves you, he'll go to counseling with you.



Will you?

Answer 49

Lady been there and I know what your dealing with...it can go on and on till you have invested say 10yrs of your life and its like flogging a dead horse.The thing is and we dont want to go there but they dont love us..in fact they are so self absorbed they are likely incapable of having a meaningful relationship with anyone except themselves,and as hard as you have likely bent over backwards give it up...asap cause all it will do is drain the hell out of you and you are more than likely much too good for the type of character you are dealing with and if you are looking for appreciation dont hold your breath...I`m sorry cause it hurts and it is frustrating but you cant fix him and at this point you need to save yourself.

Answer 50

Being with someone doesn't mean you rely on them to fulfill your emotional needs. Let him be and think w/o you constantly harping on him on how insensitive he is. Instead of changing, he'll move on to someone who doesn't constantly need reassurance, which, BTW, translates to "needy" or "nagging". He'll be curious to know what you're up to (since you're not bugging him anymore) and realize that you are a human being that has interests and doesn't NEED anybody to reassure her that her feelings are valid.

Answer 51

I think I have been in similar situations. I think the only sensible thing to do is to get away from those people. I have done that myself, although it was really hard.



Seriously, there are people out there who are uncaring, who do not listen, who are inconsiderate, self-centered...



I do not think people cannot change. I think they can change if they really want to. But a person who repeats the same behaviour over and over and over again is not going to change... it is obvious he does not give a d*** about what others are saying. And if he does not care, then he will not change.... Move away.



Best wishes.

Answer 52

I'm not sure what situation youre in , is it love, frienship relation, colleagues or employer/employee. But I can sum it up this way. First theres no mutual acceptance and trust. Either way its going to fail the relationship. Secondly there is negative perception here. Once you perceived your partner as negative , and yourself refuse to acknowledge this , and remedy your mental status , then its futile to even try to ask for an answer to solve. Finally if you are true and not self-indulgent , realise the self weakness of being judgemental on others.

Answer 53

Try to develop some outside interests that don't include'him'. Maybe if he knows that you have a life that's important to you regardless of his involvement he will find interest. Then again, it could be that he is suffering from depression, which causes some to just tune others out. Are there issues not considered in this case? (By the way, I love your avatar name. We had a childhood pet dog named MacGuffin.) Good luck.

Answer 54

Sounds like you're married to him? And have been for many years? He IS genuinely sorry that you're hurt, but a leopard can't change his spots.

Face it - that's the way most guys are. It doesn't make them bad, just wired differently from women. Find your conversation and companionship with your female friends. Share activities with your husband that you BOTH enjoy, and don't expect him to fulfill all of your needs.



If it bothers you so much that you want to divorce him, don't think you will find another guy who will fill your emotional needs no matter how hard you look. They only do it for a short time while they are trying to "win" you - then you'll be right back in the same boat when the novelty wears off.

Answer 55

Probably u r talking with a meaningless person. God had made u a complete person,

a compassionate

a human

a reciprocrative person.



If the person in question ignores you, you too can ignore him and try to do the job in hand for which you are assigned, by ur parents/by your company/by your school etc.



IMPROVE ON YOUR WORK SO MUCH SO THAT U ACHIEVE PERFECTION, AND ALSO MASTER NEW SKILL/TASK. HE WILL FEEL LET DOWN,

THEN U CAN PLAY THE SAME GAME WITH HIM OR BEST IGNORE HIM.



WHEN U R DOING UR JOB THINK THAT U R SERVING GOD.



"" WORK IS WORSHIP""

Answer 56

WELL FIRST OF ALL I DONT KNOW IF YOU ARE A WOMAN OR A GAY MAN. HOW IGNORANT ARE YOU TO THE FACT THAT WHATEVER IT IS YOU HAVE TO SAY , WHETHER EMERGENCY OR NOT, IS STILL IMPORTANT ENOUGH FOR HIM TO LISTEN TO. GET IT TOGETHER HONEY .HE IS SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR BETTER HALF, ASSUMING THIS IS YOUR MAN. IF IT IS YOUR CHILD, YOU NEED TO WHOOP HIS A**. FLAT OUT! BUT BACK TO THE MAN THING, LEAVE HIS SORRY ***. A REAL MAN KNOWS HOW TO WATCH A FOOTBALL GAME, DRINK A BEER , CHANGE HIS SONS DIAPER AND LISTEN TO HIS GIRL/WIFE/MAN ALL AT THE SAME TIME. WOMEN ARE NOT THE ONLY ONES PROGRAMMED TO MULTI-TASK. FIRST DO A TEST BEFORE YOU UP AND LEAVE, TALK LIKE YOU USUALLY DO ABOUT WHATEVER IT IS YOU TALK ABOUT AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS, WHEN HE STARTS TO IGNORE YOU SWITCH IT UP AND SAY SOMETHING LIKE, IM FUC*&% YOUR BROTHER/COUSIN AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS THEN , IF HE HEARS THAT , HE IS AN AS^%$E AND DESERVES TO BE WITH A DOG, LITERALLY. BECAUSE THAT MEANS HE JUST IGNORES YOU AND HEARS IT ALL. IF HE DOES NOT HEAR THAT COMMENT THEN YOUR MAN IS OBVIOUSLY DEAF OR RETARTED BUT AT LEAST HES NOT AN A$#&*E!

Answer 57

You need to move on before your self-esteem disappears.

If he seems to tune out on purpose, this is total disprespect.

Some men (and women) can only focus on one thing at a time, and maybe it is just that he isn't the right one for you.

From your tone, it does seem time to break it off.

If it is meant to be, he will wake up and smell the coffee. Otherwise what have you really lost?

Answer 58

If one truly realised anything he will not repeat the stupid thing again and again.Why r u begging him to listen? if u cannot share your thoughts with him what is the use of talking to him? Instead u can talk to your pet dog or cat.It will immediately respond to u. Don"t u have any close friends to share your thoughts?Husband can be a good friend., but if he is not like thaT , U Just do your duties and IGNORE him. U cannot share everything with one person only.Some of the things u can share it even with your servant maid.And some to your mother or sister ,Do not try to share your thoughts to a neighbour or a stranger.Lastly u can share it with God.He is listening.

Answer 59

He is just being a Male.We are all like it,to a degree.

If its really important to talk to him about something.Take him out of his native enviroment.

Maybe a restaurant or quiet pub.

Men can not multi task !So if he is doing anything other then talking to you.You got no chance.

Another approach would be to unzip his flys then he will be all ears lol.

So we all know thats not going to happen so when you get him out to a quiet pub.Dont let him bring his cell phone or any gadgets he can play with.When you are out make a one day a week an our time day.





Good Luck.

Answer 60

I'm the 188th person to answer this question which indicates that there are a lot of hurting people over this issue. I was married to a man who paid no attention to me. When I would tell him we needed to talk, and I would pour my heart out to him, he would say, "you done?" and not say a single word to answer me...just go on watching TV usually, but never communicate with me to resolve what was bothering me. After 10 years of this, I emotionally divorced myself from the situation, made a life for myself, had many friends, and let him be the hermit he wanted to be. I took care of him when he became ill and stayed the course until he died. But I didn't allow myself to continue for those 24 years to emotionally die because of his attitude.

Answer 61

When the Im sorrys become meaningless than its time to go. I know thats easier said that done. Because even though he's a lousy good for nothing he is the man that you love. Remember this, what one won't do another will. Men are like trains if you miss one you better believe theres another one coming around the bend.

Answer 62

Are you married? If you are you really need to work on it. Tell him it has to stop and that if he can't change you need to try counseling. Or ask him how you should get his attention. Make it his challenge. Maybe there are times or signals he can tell you in advance that are good times to talk. My husband has this problem too. In someways I applaud his ability to focus and block everything out. At other times I want to beat bumps on his head when I end up repeating everything over and over again.

Answer 63

I recommend you to act as a mirror for a couple of days, treat him the same way he does then say multiple "I'm sorries" and show him how terrible being ignored could be. If he comes to some kind of understanding and thinks about his behavior then U R the winner, if he fails to understand you should decide whether being ignored for the rest of yr life or finding the proper person. I wish u success.

Answer 64

Oh you know, I totally understand what you mean. I've never faced anything that extreme, but the thing is, I really like listening to people, I do. But it pisses me off when they talk and talk and TALK and never return the favor by listening to me too! And because they don't listen, its no use telling them you have an issue with it (because they won't even hear you!!) So it's best to just move on and find someone else, whether it's a friend or boyfriend.

Answer 65

Get rid of him. He obviously doesn't care. You are worth much more than some @$$hole ignoring you. There are many more caring guys in the world who would actually care what you have to say. I know it's scary, but you are worth so much more than that. Do something for yourself. Dump the loser!

Answer 66

First off you are only giving us your side of the "He is sorry for........ this or that" and that does not help us give you an appropriate answer, if we were that good at reading minds we would all have the PowerBall lottery numbers and be millionaires tomorrow. It sounds however that you already know the answer to your question and that is, " It is time to move on down the road". Life is too short to be unhappy and if He disappoints you that much just imagine how much you must disappoint him.

Answer 67

I hear you. As I always say actions speak louder then words. I feel there is really nothing you can do except leave the relationship. Maybe that will wake him up. I have known people who say I am sorry just to make you happy at that moment. But sorries do not mean much if what they are sorry for keeps happening.. Like I said at the beginning actions speak louder then words.

Answer 68

Do to that person, what that person is doing to you.



IGNORE him.



DISREGARD him.



Treat him like the most UNIMPORANT person on earth you know of.



But don't say or do anything hurtful.



And he will certainly realize his mistake and correct his behaviour. If he doesn;t change even after you treat him like this, CONTINUE treating him like that, make new friends, look for new ways to keep yourself busy, like reading, surfing the intenet, chatting on the internet, taking deeper interest in things like cooking, gardening, maintaining a home acquarium, etc. all of which take up time and do not need anybody to talk to. And did you know that plants grow healthier and better if you talk to them? Make friends with plants and try this. And most important of all, do not rue the one who treats you like dirt. Treat him likewise, forget him, and get on with your own life, and you will find real happiness.



(While continuing to treat him like this, if he occasionally responds positively, do respond positively too, and encourage him to do so in the future, and then continue with your strategy of ignoring him, till he responds. This way he will know that you will respond to him only if he responds to you. And that will encourage him to respond to you more frequently when you talk to him.)



(If you are too talkative, you will have to correct your ways and limit your talk and its frequency. Also, if your partner is a very busy man engaged in intellectual work, an author, a professor, a computer programmer, a lawyer, etc., you should co-operate with him and remember not to disturb him at work. Because at such times he is bound to ignore you.)

Answer 69

God. This totally sounds like what my roommate went through. She kept trying to make this guy who she loved deeply work at their relationship. The more she talked, the more he turned away. Most if their moments together where heartbreaking and sad, but she lived for those few precious times when things were wonderful.

She finally had no fight left in her, and broke it off. At that point, he tried to change, but it was too late. She was just tired of working at their mess of a relationship.

Relationships can be work. But for the most part, if it's a good match, it's just, well, easy. Not fights and talks and I'm sorries.

Answer 70

I'm assuming this is a boyfriend or a husband. The problem is you 'talk' to him about it and that means nothing to him. What men, well people in general really, understand is a taste of their own medicine. I'm going to assume that when he has something to say you are expected to pay attention, and you probably do just because you aren't that rude but as you can plainly see that isn't working for you....so don't. If you change nothing, nothing wil change.



Do the same thing to him as he does to you. Nothing will clearly demonstrate to someone how it feels to be treated a certain way more than be treated that way themselves. You will see a sudden and clear understanding dawn on him. Mine was in the habit of saying things that cause lasting damage because he 'can't think straight' during an argument, me realizing the damage words can do repeatedly bit my tongue UNTIL I got sick and tired of it (just like you are) then I let him have it! I said awful things that I knew would bother him, just to let him know how it feels and that I am just as capable of behaving badly and hurting him as he is of hurting me but that all those times I CHOSE not to. That I could be just as viscious and childish as he can. Now he has magically developed the ability to THINK before he speaks. Next time he wants to talk about something hum a tune, or walk away or let him finish and then say huh were you saying something? sorry I am going to do my nails so we'll chat later. Don't do it once, do it for a month or two just to drive your point home. Men just don't 'get it' unless they experience it, they do not have the same sense of empathy as women do and view your 'talking' about the situation as something they have to endure once in a while in order to get laid. Scary but frankly true.



If this doesn't work then he's never going to get a clue and you should just quit wasting your time on him, he will never be the person that makes you happy. It isn't a very 'girly' way to fix a problem, but then again you are dealing with a man. You have to 'speak' to him in a language he understands. If you told your kids to clean their rooms in japanese would you be surprised if they didn't listen? Well 'talking about feelings' to him is as good as japanese, he won't understand it. THIS he will understand, guarantee it.

Answer 71

1st he is a man

2nd set a time limit for what you are going to say and let him know. Get to the point and make sure it's really important.

3rd start taking interest in what matters to him. He will start to take interest in what is important to you.

4th find some friends to hang with, that incourage you in life.

5th go to church.

6th get the book Help Me I'm Married by Joyce Meyer at www.joycemeyer.org

Believe me it truely helps!!!!!

Answer 72

I could say what everyone else has said....time to move on, but if your posting this question, you know your not ready to move on. Maybe this is just a small (yet annoying) flaw in an otherwise enjoyable relationship. My signifigant other had that exact habit. He would talk about his day, his team, his bad toe, anything. Beacause I loved him I would hang on his words offereing advise and encoragement. When it was my turn, he would tune me out, focusing on the game or movie at hand. One day, I stoped talking to him. I would write notes and leave them taped to the TV. When he called me, he would get notiing but dead air. After about 2 weeks (yes he is stubborn) he realized that he would rather have the sound of my voice and learned to pay attention to it.

Answer 73

I don't know, but I don't thing you should look for ways to "force" him to pay attention to you. If he doesn't care enough to do it on his own, then any attention he does pay you is just going to ring hollow anyway. Maybe my words, "if he doesn't care enough", should cause you to take a good, hard look at your relationship with this man. You said yourself that you're "sick of the I'm - sorries" and "sick from being ignored". So, maybe it's time to seek whatever "tonic" it might take to make you well.

Answer 74

I am in this same situation but don't even get sorrys and cannot even get her to church with me but have read my Bible thru and have no proof of sexual imorallity so as Christ says if I divorse her then her sins will be upon my head have wanted to move on but love her whole heartedly and 18 years is a long time to start over there are so many selfish hurtfull things she has done and broken promises by the 1,000s so who know Be patient and ask in prayer constantly for God to give you direction.

Answer 75

Hi McGuffey,

It is the pits, isn't it?

But to everything there is

a solution, so don't despair.



Not knowing all the details,

it makes it harder to share

advise, but it seems to me

you need to take drastic

measures here.



If you are ready to leave,

then do, move along and

start 'your' life.



If you are not ready to

leave, then, start doing

things on your own, with

friends, and concentrate

on yourself.



I suggest the first option.

It seems if you have already

made him aware of how much

this hurts you , and he does

nothing to change, sorry

doesn't begin to cover territory.



He is not worthy of you,

you deserve better, even

if it entails drastic measures.



Please look after yourself,

and be well!

Answer 76

This is an unfair question. I mean, girls will kind of ramble on about anything and everything, whether or not its of importance.



Remember, guys want the who, what, when, and where, maybe the why, but not too often. If he is doing this, chances are you've shown him that you don't know when to stop talking, or sharing meaningless stories. Guys don't want to have to constantly be thinking about social relationships. We want silence most of the time. That is not asinine behavior, its simply different. The fact that you are so into yourself tells me that you probably do drone on like a record player.



Give the guy a break and let him relax for a bit. Practice not talking so much, or find a woman to chat with. I doubt he bores you with sports and car talk 24/7. I doubt he brings up inconsequential stories everyday. Guys want to hear about stuff blowing up, or fights, not how the Nordstrom's girl pissed you off because she gave you a mean glare, and you think she spit in your foundation, and is now plotting ways to kill you.



Sounds like you're a boring person, make yourself interesting, and maybe he'll start listening.

Answer 77

Politely show him his suitcase, the door, and give him his walking papers. It's not like you haven't been patient enough with him. He's preoccupied -- and not a participant in your relationship. He needs a jolt to reasses his participation with you. Be bold, because you are worth it. When you set and enforce your guidelines for a healthy relationship, you will find that there will be many eager people waiting in line. See him off, and maybe he will get a flavor of what's really out there for him. Save yourself, because nobody else will. Love is tough, but if you love too much, it will kill you. Sorry.

Answer 78

I dont kow why people are that way but it is not a good feeling. Its like they dont care. maybe he doesnt know enough to care. You need to ask youself is he worth all of your pain. No one should have to feel the way you feel and if he really loved you when he says he is sorry you should see that he means it. Relationships are never easy but they really dont have to be so upsetting and if they are then maybe you should consider moving along. I wish you the best with yuor decision.

Answer 79

My honost opion. If you love him nothing will change that. But act to him how he is to you. But of that doesn't work move on. Or so him how much he means to you and that he hurting you some much. Or mess with his head by flirting with other boys. Or most likely find someone else that will notice and every thing. But then when he sees you with someone else he will know the mistake he made.

Answer 80

As soon as one realises that the 'sorry' from a person is not meant - insist that the person makes 'amends' for the wrongful words or deed.

Do not be apathetic or accommodating as regards the matter as it would only embolden the troublemaker to harass you limitless - just with that word'sorry' !!



[e-mail]

Answer 81

Do you love him? But you don't like him.Forgive him until you feel that you can't. Remember why you love him. If he can't change perhaps you can. Sometimes you need to find out why you feel hurt, and then



tell him.



Tell him, that "I have been hurt by you."



Something might be occupying his heart and mind now, he might be going through a crisis that you do not know of. Try to find out.



If all else fails, pray.

Answer 82

If you truly are sick of it you would do something about it and stop being a doormat - move out and move - on. Start liking yourself and stop worrying what he thinks of you - since he obviously doesn't think enough about you to even pay attention to you. Don't even bother trying anymore. A relationship doesn';t go anywhere if only one side is trying. LOVE is a two way street.

Answer 83

Sounds like there are a couple of things going on; Obviously, he has a passive/aggressive personality, is a control freak and possibly a Sadist as well; on the other hand, you're staying around/with him makes you a Masochist; you let him get away with it! Get away from him now and go see a Therapist as soon as possible or else history will repeat itself!

Answer 84

"Son will you go in the garage and get me some bleach"? He comes back with dryer sheets. It may take him three tries because his internal focus is on something different. So if he just got off work and is just trying to relax, this is not the time to discuss anything important.

Answer 85

Forget this person. They do not have respect for you and you deserve better. If they aren't treating you nicely than find someone else to talk to and do things with! Respect yourself before otheres you are to strong to let other people hurt you. Just d o what feels right to you. You'll know what to do when the time comes! Good luck!

Answer 86

Hon, it's clearly a case of "I don't cares". The question is, what do you think you should do? Get out while the gettin's good or make him take you seriously by doing something that he would least expect from you. Like not coming home one day.

Answer 87

I don't know how long this relationship has been going on but it sounds like it's time to move on, you're being taken for granted. Pull up your socks and get those soccer boots out of the closet, something needs to be kicked to the curb.

Answer 88

Respect needs to go both ways, seems he is shutting down or shutting you out and there may be a bigger reason behind that, Are there problems with his career? Or maybe his family? Depending on your ages and place you are in life, you may be more mature than he is and more ready for things that he is not ready for... or he may be more of a career minded person and only thinks of those kinds of things.

Answer 89

Just stop trying he's not worth the pain your putting yourself through. Sometimes guys can be real jerks and from the way you make him sound he's obviously one of them.

Answer 90

I would say you really need to stand up to him, and do something drastic to let him know how unacceptable his behavior has become. For example not calling or talking to him for a few days, let him wonder where you are and what you are up to, and not answering the phone when he calls. This will make him think and wonder if you have found someone else, and will make him appreciate you more.

Answer 91

if u can't accept the behavior, leave him,but if ur love for is enough to cover up ol his insulting then hang on.

ur the only one hu can say what is the ryt thing to do. bear in mind also that a relationship is a way for us to grow as a mature person n have someone to encourage us and lift our spirits up. if ur relationship is making u the least person ur not then its not working anymore,ok

Answer 92

What you have described is emotional abuse. He is disrespectful of you as a person, he is miminizing your views, he is treating you as if you don't exist. That is emotional abuse.



I suggest you rock his world and let him know you are totally fed up and it is time for counseling. If he refuses, give him his packed suitcase and show him the door. Until he agrees to counseling, don't let him back.



Ask yourself this; why have I allowed myself to be treated like this?



I suggest you go for counseling yourself to get further help. Living with someone like that has taken it's toll and you need to take care of you...no matter what the abuser does. Take care. Respect yourself and don't let anyone treat you badly again.

Answer 93

If you are a girl, I'd listen to most of the answers provided, if, however, you are a gay guy, then my answer is to just face it, and move on. Gay is abnormal, and therefore cannot be satisfying for a life span. I feel in your question that you are male, or if not, you have taken on the male role. Just get over it and move on. Ron

Answer 94

I don't know how to solve your problem but generally when you apologize all the time it become more meaningless and sincere. To give your apologies more meaning you have to start apologizing less of the time. If he continues his behaviour you are going to have to threaten him, and punish him with out remorse so that he resects you. You have to get him to respect you, show him that you do what you say, and say what you mean.

Answer 95

Once, I went out with girlfriends all day and didn't call my BF (I usually call twice and sometimes he wasn't always thrilled to hear from me...no longer my BF, BTW). I got home and saw my caller ID and noticed he called at least a dozen times. When I finally did call, he was like, "Where have you been? I've been trying to get a hold of you." I asked him if there was something urgent, and he said no. So, he was "concerned" with where I was b/c I wasn't trying to track him down for a change.



If he's your BF, I'd move on. He's not husband material. If he IS your husband, I'd leave him alone for a while. He may be thinking you're too sensitive and has tuned you out and doesn't realize how hurtful he's being b/c you want him to constantly pay attention to your needs.



Being with someone doesn't mean you rely on them to fulfill your emotional needs. Let him be and think w/o you constantly harping on him on how insensitive he is. Instead of changing, he'll move on to someone who doesn't constantly need reassurance, which, BTW, translates to "needy" or "nagging". He'll be curious to know what you're up to (since you're not bugging him anymore) and realize that you are a human being that has interests and doesn't NEED anybody to reassure her that her feelings are valid.



If he still is a jerk after you've left him alone, I wonder if he really loves you. He obviously doesn't care if you exist if he doesn't even realize what you're up to.

Answer 96

He was like this before you married him. Perhaps you ignored it or hoped it would change. Now he has not changed. Guess it can't be fixed. Time to consider moving on.

Answer 97

He sounds like a jerk. But could it be possible he doesn't really understand what he is doing. I'm the type of person who will give a person a taste of their own medicine. Let them see how hurtful it is.



An example... DH had a habit of when we went shopping he would just walk ahead of me. He didn't want to waste his time waiting for me to look at something. So, once while he was looking at something. I walked ahead and kept walking. He came up to me wondering why I didn't wait for him. I turned around and said that since he thought it was okay do that to me, I guess it was okay to do it to him. He nows waits for me.

Answer 98

First, remind him the meaning of "I'm sorry" which is "I wish I hadn't done it and I'll never do it again" Second, and this is what I did, Leave. My man did'nt ignore me that bad he just didn't value my opinion thought of me as his cheerleader not his partner so I left, and he came running after me, all together we have 18 yrs. So good luck.

Answer 99

Show the person that sorry is not enough. They need to make promises not to do it again and also show you that they are willing to not do hurtful things to you. If they continue and all they do to try to appease you is say sorry stay away from them because they do not mean it when they tell you they are sorry.

Answer 100

I didn't read that you are married? If you aren't I would suggest that you move on to better things. It isn't worth it to be hurt this much, especially if you've tried to talk about it.

When someone loves you, they want to hear what you have to say, they want to know what you think, they want to correct behaviors that hurt you, they are concerned about your happiness. They are unselfish, they put your needs ahead of their own, they ask your opinion, they have manners around you, they treat you with respect, they tease, they have fun with you. They want you to be happy and have all that you need. Love forgives, love is patient with you. This is what love does.

Answer 101

a have been in this situation where a person i cared for is only noticing his and not us/me i just grew tired of what was happening eventually i stop worrying what he feels and think and i start to ignore him which lead to a break-up. It took me a while to accept that his sorry are meaningless- love makes people blind.

Answer 102

he may have a listening disability, or did he just start not listening to you?my mate and i are kind of the same way. alot i dont like to talk about what he talks about and he is the same with me!i found my self pretending to listen to him and he has called me out on it and he would find out im not listening to him. i love him with all my heart, its just that some things dont catch my attention too quickly, or i have alot of other things on my mind about life in general.maybe his head is full of other things does he talk much?dont take it to offens. start being quiet and if he notices just let him know you were giving him a chance to talk about something.good luck, im sure he is not tryin to be mean to you, at least thats the way it is in my relationship.i need to become a better listener!

Answer 103

The same thing has happened to me, some of my relatives ignore me and they treat me badly, they have a scornful attitude toward everything that I say or I do...for no reason....My cousin comes to my home and never great me, as if I wasn't there. She is very mean to me and she is very obnoxious. She's the worst person I have ever met (no kidding).

Now, I do the same to her......she's not worth my time.

It bothers me so much...so.. months ago I decided not to lose my time with them because they do not worth it. If they do not care about me, why should I care about them?

Do not have considerations with them which they do not have with you, do not invite them to your events neither celebrations, do not call them when it's their birthdays only greet them politely. As I tell you, there are people that do not worth the effort and time .I only say "hi" to them when I see them, nothing else.

Answer 104

It sounds to me like he doesn't really care for you and it's time to move on; that is if you have sit him down face to face and told him your feelings. Some men just want a woman around to do laundry, cooking and dishes, and lot's of sex and don't care for the one-on-one relationship. If he's this type, get rid of him.

Answer 105

well when i was younger..my dad would say i am sorry and he would turn around and hit, or scream or whatever he wanted to do we call this the honey moon stage when they say there sorry but no one knows when it ends..just one day he would wake up mad at everything and take it out on anyone..and that is no way to live your life



It is my feelings that if someone is sorry they do what they can to change it or they take steps to help them work on things or they just dont mean it..i feel very strongly about if someone says there sorry in order to mean it they fix the problem..for good

Answer 106

The situation being as you claim-then it's time to move on. Why keep beating up on yourself because of another person's insensitivity? People who love and care about us are interested in us. It is not a chore to them to hang on to our every word, hear about our day, share our dreams and disappointments. If someone isn't giving you this basic need then you should dump them.

Answer 107

The whole cycle you are describing will continue FOREVER...and it gets real tiring. If you stay in this relationship, be prepared to live a sad, lonely and sickly life. I know it sounds harsh, but it sounds like you are starting to feel contemptuous feelings towards him and honestly that is no way to live...It only leads to physical ailments that are somatizations of your emotional state with this person. My grandma always tells me "take care of you, because no one else will". Put yourself first and be true to you. And if you are truly "sick" of the sorries then its time for you to distance yourself from this person. Good Luck and God Bless.

Answer 108

You've already apologised so many times n u dont need to anymore... stop hurting urself n stop makin urself feel insulted infront of others who dont understand the meaning of ur words... be it any1, ur bf/ bro/ frnd whtever just be normal to him from ur side dont act unusual... keep goin with ur life u have better thinz to do instead of stressing urself by thinkin abt such people who do not try to understand others

Answer 109

it's time to say goodbye !there is no cure and nothing in the world will make him turn around.it's the bitter truth sad but true!You are only lying to yourself in believing that this relation MAY work. You are only tiring yourself out in this process.Don't try too hard,and don't expect him to change.Your outlook should change and maybe just maybe things will look up! Good Luck!signing off with great sympathy to your situation!May be you will find solace in meditation ,so try it!

Answer 110

How do you know if it's unimportant to him,your honor,if it may please the court,i submit that some people have a crtain disorder associated with hearing loss where it seems like they are not paying attention but really are lost in a world of their own because of the hearing loss,i myself happen to have a relative with such.So i think a hearing test might be in order.

Answer 111

I was ashamed to tell my (now ex)girlfriend I had a hearing problem, In part because I was in denial myself. We almost broke up over it. But then she noticed that I kept ignoring her while watching TV, but would pay attention to her when the volume is muted. She forced me to go to a doctor and have it looked at.

Answer 112

Sometimes if words don't work, try communicating to him with action. Different people are impacted by different means - perhaps you need to take some other approach with him to make an impression.

Answer 113

Assuming you are not married to this person, it's time to go. Or at the very least, tell this person that you REQUIRE this of them, and that if you don't get such a little thing, then it's over.



Try telling them to look at you, put whatever they're doing down and look at you.

Answer 114

Time to move on, how did you two get together in the first place? Meaning; it seems an odd combination, what was the attraction in the first place?

Answer 115

well is this from a lover or child? if it's from a lover or husband i suggest giving back to him in kind. when he see's how hurtful it is, maybe it change his behavior, may need to do this more than once. if this doesn't work, i would suggest counceling, if he refuses, i suggest considering getting out of the relationship. if it's a child i suggest the first 2 suggestion's. hope this help's.

Answer 116

it is very easy to hurt others, not to keep your promise, to ignore & then just say sorry. not only that they expect u to forget & behave naturally with them. even i have gonn thro' this upteen number of times. if he is just your boyfriend Then pl forget him. say " sorry, i have forgotten u long back " & start fresh. i am not able to do even that as i am married to him & now it is too late to do anything. so, i am tied with this " i am sioory, this is the last time, believe me " .for life long.try tit for tat business & see how he takes it. if he takes it lightly then it is his nature. either u leave him or put up with his nature. like how i am going thro' but i tell u it is not worth it.

Answer 117

When sorries become so meaningless to the point that you are repulsed by it then you need to cut that dead weight loose.

Your problem is he takes you for granted and you let him. You need to stand up to him and tell him that enough is enough.

That if this keeps up you are letting him go.

You know what to do you are just to scared to do it.

Answer 118

Man, this is so easy. If "I'm sorry" looses it's power the trick is to start blaming something else. "Sure, I was late, but an old friend stopped me on the way to work and I couldn't lose him."

Answer 119

Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

You talk too much!

Do you know how to go silent on somebody else?

Give it a try; you might like it.

Ignorant and mean-spirited people tend to 'perform' when they know they have an audience.

QUIT the whining, QUIT the complaining, QUIT the nagging, and by everything holy, QUIT the talking!

Shut up! Shut! Shut up!

AND...if you find that this tactic doesn't work..then...move on and NEVER look back!

Answer 120

A lot depends upon the kind of relationship you have. If it is a non-binding relationship (like a boyfriend), you might as well drop him and go on.

If it is a more serious relationship, then you've got some work to do.



First: You must be honest - do you prattle on mindlessly about things of no importance to him? Even if you do no more than 1/2 the time, he's going to stay in this routine of ignoring you. If you are highly dependent on him, start becoming more independent.



Second: There is a point (say after the second "Sorry"), where "Sorry " just isn't good enough. Its just a put-off at that point. You need to wait for the next "Sorry" and then cut him off, telling him that that is an unacceptable response. If he cares, he'll probably come back with "what do you want me to do?!!" At this point, you've got to tell him what you expect.



Third: Even after the second step above, he'll probably slip back into ignoring you at some point. At this point, you can do things like telling him critically important things when he isn't listening to you. "I'm going to be out of town for three weeks." or "Honey, I'm picking up our new car tomorrow." Then do what you need to do, regardless of him.



Lastly: If all else fails you need to decide whether this relationship is important enough for you to maintain it. If it is not, break it off. If it is, get more friends and get THEM to listen to you.

Answer 121

I doubt he will. It may be sad and heartbreaking to leave him but itd be even more tragic to stay in a relationship where youre not heard. Two way communication is VITAL to have a strong ,healthy, satisfying relationship.

Answer 122

I am unsure whether or not this is a spouse or what but I only want people in my life that make me feel better about myself so if I were you I would get rid of this person ASAP no matter what relationship he is to you. Good Luck!

Answer 123

When you realize that the person apologizing is only doing it to get out of trouble and only wants to spare themselves the further bother of you being mad at them.

Sorry is rather hollow at this point.

Answer 124

This problem everywhere exist, those people want to cover their mistakes and selfishness they point the finger to others, so that he escape, but in fact every one knows this kind of people and ignore them..

Answer 125

LEAVE HIM....I dont care how much you love him it will not get better...he just has to say a couple o words and it is all better...he will not change....If it was meant to be then you guys will meet again, If not then tis better to know now, then to waste any more time just to find out down the road......

Answer 126

Seems like a case of wit-level incompatibility. Both communicate on different levels with different frequencies.

Answer 127

Give him one more chance to prove himself. But let him know that you no longer trust his words. If he wants you to believe that he is sorry, he needs to SHOW you with his ACTIONS. You can even help him out by telling him one more time what exactly you need him to do differently. If he doesn't do it, then you'll know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it is time to move on.

Answer 128

Give him the silent treatment. All men hate the silent treatment. You can talk to anyone else, sing or laugh, go about your business, look at him, whatever- just don't say a word to him for however long you want...not even if he asks a question or tries to trick you into talking. If he doesn't know about the "silent treatment", he soon will. It's very effective.

Answer 129

Maybe u should write a letter explaining how u feel r just take sometime for both of u to be alone and have some self-time.

Answer 130

Survive, move to a higher level of human relations by leaving him behind.

Answer 131

You have to keep in mind that only you can make yourself happy. Don-t expect from others... try to bring yourself to a leveled point of agreement with yourself. He maybe just tired of himself... look for new horizons.

Answer 132

Do what he does, ignore, possibly then he will wonder what is wrong with YOU? Then tell him, this is how you make me feel, every single dam!! A little bit of his own medicine? Could actually do the job?

Answer 133

Well if you're really desperate, make it even more meaningful than just saying sorry because when you say sorry, it really doesn't mean much. but if you will accept anything, just don't think about the person that is ignoring you.

Answer 134

Get this guy out of your life.If it's a work situation go to a superior and file a grievance.

Answer 135

He sounds self absorbed and self centered. You are probably just something to do, someone to listen as he rattles on only to hear himself speak.

Get moving and get on with your life.

I'm sorry won't cut it.

Answer 136

Simple..,leave

Answer 137

give him one more chance--just one and then it's.....

but unfailingly repeats the insulting, demeaning behavior.



oh may be just one more chance.





he has never, ever noticed.



this is the last ... well just one more chance



Wow , when will YOU learn?

Answer 138

Leave and don't look back!

Life's too short to spend it getting someone's attention!

Find someone who will willingly listen and be interested! If he doesn't listen and doesn't care you are not fit for one another!

Answer 139

This is the point where you just need to move on. It will be hard, but you can't be ingored and told sorry and then they do it over and over again. Its okay to move on. You should be happy.

Answer 140

Perhaps you can find out what is bothering him. He may be taking out on you things that are happening to him at work.

He could be at his max with dealing with everything and needs help to deal with it. He obviously has a problem and it needs help... Maybe he is to afraid to discuss it with you. You could seek a friend to talk to him and find out what is going on with him. what do you think?

take care

Answer 141

You leave-get on with your life. He is obviously not interested in what you have to say or your feelings. He is immature and self absorbed. He will never change.Trust me-they don't.

Answer 142

Never pay attention to those who don't pay attention to you! If you really matter to someone, they will come around and pay attention.



Trying to get attention from someone who doesn't care is a waste of life... use your time better.



Have fun!

Answer 143

Sounds like your in a relationship with this person. Should you really have to put up with having to hear "I'm sorry" over and over if he doesn't mean it. I mean, really, he isn't being sincere if he has to say it over and over. If he truly did regret what he did, he would not do it again. Sounds like you need to move on to someone who will respect you enough to actually be sincere. If you are not happy with him, that means he is not the one for you.

Answer 144

I know exactly how you feel and can sympathize. I don't believe that there is anything you can do about it, but move forward and leave him behind. I'm sure you care deeply for this man, but you deserve so much more. You should have someone in your life who can love and appreciate you for the person you are and the things you do. Good luck. Letting go is the hardest thing to do, but once you do - you'll find that it's easier to do.

Answer 145

no one is ever really sorry until their ACTIONS show otherwise. maybe you need some time out for yourself to stop worrying about whether or not what you say gets through to him. clearly it's HIS issue and not yours.

Answer 146

I think you do know what to do. What you may be seeking is permission to do it. So, I hereby grant you permission to stop being a doormat for a man who cares NOTHING about your feelings. He has shown you who he is ... believe him. And move on.

Good luck!

Answer 147

Well, you don't want to break up if or get a divorce if you have kids, but he/she has beten you or your kids you go to court or theropy cause you don't want your kids to end up that way if any other questions contact my e-mail address, but if this is a friend or relative you work it out or tell a friend who you can trust

Answer 148

most people say the I'm sorry sentence because it's the easiest thing that comes off the tip of the tongue, and no one knows that it's meaning less when they say it. But unless you make him know you have had enough of him with what he's doing. He will just continue with. It's time for you to take action and move on with your life make him think about what he's losing.

Answer 149

Time to clean house and get rid of him - he's not a friend - he's self-centered and you can't change people. Good for you for at least recognizing it.

Answer 150

Evidently you aren't letting him know how you really feel. If he is really sorry, he will try to listen to you. Are you married to this guy? You both may need to work on your communication skills. :)

Answer 151

Run, don't walk. It's nice that you see the problem. Of course it is yours. Not in a bad way. I know what you are dealing with, trust me, run if you can.

Answer 152

The next time he seems to ignore you and says "I'm sorry" afterwards, just tell him that the next time he does that you are just going to slap the cowboy sh*t out of him and see how he likes that!!!

Answer 153

It sounds like you really are not the most important person because he can care less about how you feel and what you think. Its clear ,cant you see? Well obviously you like it

Answer 154

If all else fails you need to decide whether this relationship is important enough for you to maintain it. If it is not, break it off. If it is, get more friends and get THEM to listen to you.

Answer 155

my man is the same way!i love him very much!but he is exactly the same as you described!when he says i am sorry,tell him that after a while sorry doesnt mean anything,unless he backs it up with action of changing!

Answer 156

Lifes too short to spend a moment sacrificing what you need. If he hasnt got it yet, I doubt he will. It may be sad and heartbreaking to leave him but itd be even more tragic to stay in a relationship where youre not heard. Two way communication is VITAL to have a strong ,healthy, satisfying relationship.

Answer 157

Why are you even with this person to begin with? Are there any redeeming qualities? If so, you have not listed them. Obviously, there's gotta be a good reason for you to hang on - and without knowing what it can be, I'm not in the position to tell you to leave. But seriously, if you don't want to be treated like this for the rest of your life, you need to find another man. This one's not going to change.

Answer 158

I'M SORRY WHAT DID YOU SAY? I WASN'T PAYING ATTENTION.

Answer 159

Sometimes in a situation like this, the best thing to do is the hardest...leave...move on, move out...

Answer 160

Wow a lot of people answered your question... Don't you wish they gave you points based on the number of people who respond.

Answer 161

your probley not even going to get to this answer , i told him that he was his own worst critic and , yes he is "sorry" almost pathedic , and i am done hearing it , dont need someone like that and when you get out im sorry will drive you crazy every time you hear it .stick to your guns girl

Answer 162

Break out the hand-cuffs and a whip.

You can certainly get a meaninful "I'm sorry."

Answer 163

Taken from a popular book and 4 "Sexy" women, HE IS JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU. He is mentally abusive. You deserve better.

Answer 164

Then it is time to move on. I wouldn't give such a self-absorbed person the time of day!

Answer 165

Just walk away. You're right, "Sorry" loses it's meaning when you know he's just going to do it again. Now he has to prove he's genuinely sorry.

Answer 166

hey u dont need to hear the i am sories any mor . just think u have had enough . it is tat he is just nt sutable 4r u .sory is said once 4r one thing not every time 4r the same thin

as 4r ignorance try not kepin any contact 4r 20 days nd see how u get notised

Answer 167

i definitely think that you should tell him that your fed up wit him and his little game. and tell him its over until he can fix it. and if he cant and says that hell try harder then too bad for him. he had a chance but blew it. thats his problam if you decide to stay with him tell him that you only will if hes serious. and if he cant do it then breakup

Answer 168

Have you ever heard of ADULT A.D.D.??



I bet that is what he has got!



Have him checked!







THERE ARE SO MANY ANSWERS, I AM AFRAID YOU ARE NOT EVEN GOING TO

READ THIS ONE!!! IT IS IMPORTANT.









Adult Attention Deficit Disorder

Original articles on Adult Attention Deficit Disorder, practical advice, diagnosis, treatment ... Adult Attention Deficit Disorder: Diagnosis, Accommodation ...www.ncpamd.com/Adult_ADD.htm -

Answer 169

Dump him and get a much better boyfriend. From what you said, he's very selfish, a jerk, and incapable of loving.

Answer 170

did you ever think the person in question might be truly sorry

BUT suffers from Attention Deficit Disorder

Answer 171

leave him, it doesn't matter if he is a friend or something else, I experienced that situation for five years with my boyfriend and it was hurtfull and useless. I finally end the relationship and his actual wife is divorcing him for the same reason.

Answer 172

get rid of him and find someone that wouldn't make you feel like you are no one to him, he is the one that should be saying "I'm sorry" to you, not the other way around

Answer 173

you can accept his apology, but tell him its not enough anymore. life is too short to stay in a relationship where you are always left feeling badly.

Answer 174

Life is too short to be unhappy. Only you can decide what to do, but it is better to be alone and happy than with someone and miserable!!!!!!

Answer 175

TELL HIM SORRY ONLY HAS MEANING WHEN HE REALLY MEANS IT. IF HE THINKS THATS THE ONLY ANSWER THEN HE DOESNT MEAN IT! AS FAR AS BEING IGNORED, STOP TALKING, HE WILL WONDER WHY AND START TALKING TO YOU. IT DOES WORK...BEEN THERE DONE IT!

Answer 176

"I'm sick of the I'm-sorries, sick from being ignored, and just don't know what to do"



Perhaps you should let him know of this part right here...

Answer 177

y r u still giving this person the time of day

Answer 178

stop doing stuff that you have ot say sorry for in the first place. i think people say sorry too much (espesh here in england we're always apoligising) for example i was playing tennis the other day and they scored a point against me and apoligised??? i think we should only really say it when we actually have something to say sorry for x

Answer 179

so start ignoring him cos i think he'll come to know wat is being ignored and unlistened then how u feel, so i think u should let him also feel how u feel by letting him feel the same so i think its just only the way to feel insulted for that He'll either apologize back to u for his previous behaviour or just dump and i think as u got to think that he is going to dump u,so dump him before he dump u if u want me to help u just as frnd my id is [e-mail]

Answer 180

"I'm sorry" is never meaningless if its heartfelt. Apologizing in person when possible is something that shows you truly mean it.

Answer 181

If this person totally ignores you, just don't stay around him anymore

Answer 182

Sometimes it is nice to think that at least he knows that he should apologize. most guys don't even try to. you should appreciate this, but i know it is tough. try to act like his mirror, " eye for an eye" .....

Answer 183

Dump him. It's not going to get any better. It's probably the way he was raised. You deserve better, RUN!!!

Answer 184

Keep saying I'm sorry and apologizes.



Good luck.

Answer 185

Have his hearing checked. He may have a problem and need hearing aids like I do.



Miracle ear will check them for free.



I am serious. hearing goes gradually, and you don't really notice it at first. Then you start misunderstanding, and consonants start to drop out... It seems like you are being ignored, but what you are saying is heard but not understood or misunderstood.

Answer 186

it'll just take time.



show the person. actions speak louder.



this is your penance. let him be angry. let him go through his process.

Answer 187

At least you get an "I'm sorry" Meaningless or not

Some of us don't get that much

Answer 188

Try relationship counselling.

Answer 189

You can't be with someone you can't talk to.

Be careful with your own feelings and stop trying to get him to notice them if your attempts are repeatedly shot down.

Answer 190

how far are you willing to go? are you prepared to leave him? i suggest doing some soul searching and think about what it is that you really want and how far are you willing to go to get it.....afterall you only get one chance at life...so make a decision to be happy!....remember you only get out..,, what you put in...(life)..

Answer 191

Actions speak louder than words ..My Dad always said . And I have found it to be very true.... Give him some of his own medicine...See how he likes being ignored. Thanks Happy Labor day! <:3 }~

Answer 192

Forget the (I'm sorries) In regard to ignoring or tuning out,I go through this with my woman often. I have come to the conclusion that it is an attention span thing.I have learned to shorten up what I say to her and if I have something lengthy to tell her I will ***make an appointment*** " tell me when your able to pay attention to me for 15 mins." There is a chance he just does not care but I doubt that. ** A.D.D **?

Answer 193

time to move on toward someone who is sensitive to your needs.

Answer 194

Dump them. Get them out of your life.

Answer 195

If your referring to a man. I understand. It's called selective hearing. Only Men have it. They only hear what they want to hear. "It's a man thing"! Than again. Maybe he's really deaf and won't admit it.

Answer 196

Time to move on!!

Answer 197

Same thing for my young brother...meaningless apology:-P

Answer 198

Talk to him/her, step into the person's shoes, see why he/she doesn't care. Maybe its self-esteem, maybe he/she doesnt think it matters if he/she tries.

Answer 199

Stop believing them. To say & mean what you say is what makes A TRUSTWORTHY PERSON.

Answer 200

If you can...leave for a while. It'll snap him awake...or it is move on time, even if married.

If you are not ready, grow a callus.

Answer 201

you're just gonna have to forgive him everytime, from the bottom of your heart.. if you cannot do that, it means you started to love yourself more than you love him... and that what you had is about to die...

Answer 202

Offer sex. Plain and simple. That oughta solve everything.

Answer 203

Do nothing. Sometimes things are better off left the way it is.

Answer 204

I recommend relationship counseling. My guess is that he realizes that you're upset, but not what you're upset for.

Answer 205

you know what, have you ask the LORD WHAT YOU SHOULD DO,, THE BIBLE (OK, I'm sure you do not want to her hear nothing about the bible)OK,, you need to PRAY, and ask the LORD TO help you, in this situation,,even he says "I'm sorry" pay no mind,, forgive me, you need almost to play REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY. TAKE FOR WHAT IS WORTH.. what ever you do do not challenge anybody.. I'm sure is harm-full to you, I'm sorry..have you look for counseling

Answer 206

Answer #1 is right on.

Answer 207

He is soooo taking you for granted....time to move on hunny....men [or women] like this just never change. Find someone who really cares.

Answer 208

Only you can stop his insensitive behavior toward you...except YOU!

Answer 209

Disappear for awhile and see if he misses you.

Answer 210

the only thing i would suggest is to leave and sea if that gets the reaction you are seeking

Answer 211

I just want to tell you your picture of that cat really really really looks like my cat.

Answer 212

tell him you have decided to become a lesbien that shoud get his attention

Answer 213

I think you know what to do without us telling you.

Answer 214

i'm REALLY sorry if you don't forgive me then plz just talk to me once in a while like say hi or something.

Answer 215

sit them down and have a heart to heart talk with them and be honest with them about your feelings and what you want and expect from them

Answer 216

It seems like you are in a relationship all by yourself...since it seems that way maybe he needs to pack his things and go...this wake up call is long over due....if you wish to remain go to marriage counseling and see if there are any changes...

Answer 217

Start talking to someone that will listen!! If he is not changing his ways the I'm sorries are just to keep you happy beleive me I have played that game..A true I'm sorry is a mistake someone TRYS NOT to make again!!

Answer 218

grl--ignore him right back--get him out of ur life

Answer 219

Nothing.

Answer 220

ignore him.....that way he'd know what he's saying is just full of BS!

Answer 221

No one ever accepts my apologies & it hurts my feelings.

Answer 222

don't say sorry anymore.

Answer 223

Do pratikraman

Answer 224

get into family counseling

Answer 225

just trust him. He wouldn't say "i'm sorry" if it was just to say. He really wants to change, give him some time. Nobody can't change in a day, we all need time to forsake bad habits!

Listen to Celine Dion "That's the way it is"! Don't give up! Trust him, love him!

Answer 226

try to tell him that you don't wan't to play this game any more and do it to him if he doesnt stop

Answer 227

One question, are you married to this guy?

Answer 228

persuade until agrees never leave him and it get bored.

Answer 229

If he doesnt listen to you don't listen to him. If he can't respect your opinions don't listen to his.

Answer 230

It doesn't sound like a loving relationship I'm not a therapist so i don't feel comfortable telling you what to do ,If it were me I would move on and find someone who appreciates me

Answer 231

If I were you, I would leave and never return.

Answer 232

If you're sick of anything you should call it a day.

Answer 233

sorry is all he can say

and being mad is all you can do

dont talk to him anymore and see if he cares

grow up

Answer 234

babe. there al like that just dnt bother! ignore him instead see how he likes it!

Answer 235

Just say... you will be sorry... and see the reaction..

Answer 236

no choice, tell him straight in the face....



"saying sorry is meaningless now"....

Answer 237

he's a man. get used to it. if you truly love him just deal with it. you can't make him change. fwi, EVERY man will ignore you if he's watching tv or involved in one of his hobbies.

Answer 238

start giving them th treatment they giving u...wat comes around goes around

Answer 239

Ask him if he loves you and if he wants this relationship to work....if he does then ask him what his expectations of you are.

Answer 240

kick his a** out of there! tell him to change or it's over! it's just not worth it!

Answer 241

just put ur head down and apologize slowly.

Answer 242

wen such a situation is encountered the best way to make things fine is give time n let the person realize the meaning of wat sorry means.

Answer 243

hmm...dats the problem??

well..u shud just igrore him also, for him to feel wat u r feeling evrytym he do those things to u.

but, if he never noticed that u're igroning him..mybe he's absent minded all the time!!

i hope i answered u're question correctly.. :)

Answer 244

Move out, or move him out, if you are not married.

Answer 245

He has completely devalued you. You need to reclaim your life and find someone who will treat you as an equal. You and me both, honey.

Answer 246

find an appropriate time to talk. he may be stress, tired, or busy.

Answer 247

well i dont know what to do. but he sounds really mean.

Answer 248

Leave him.

Answer 249

uh girlfriend you gotta move on. unless you want to keep getting ognored move on!!!!!!!!!!!!! Find someone who actually listens someone who actually cares!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't waste time get a new guy!!!

Answer 250

Walk out. What else can I say. Women should be cherished. Find someone who is worthy of you.

Answer 251

Give up on this loser

Answer 252

say yrros

Answer 253

.... huh?



did you say something?



i'm sorry you'll hafta repeat that i wasn't paying attention.

Answer 254

put poison in his coffee

Answer 255

time for you to move on....

Answer 256

Eliminate the TV, dinner, and any other attention distractions when you decide to open up to him. It sounds like it is a matter of timing, and sometimes fatigue and stress can allow someone to "tune out".

Answer 257

It could be he has more than much to much on this plate. Ask him is their something bother him. If he says nothing then say will I have something bother me. Then tell him what you have to say.

Answer 258

Dont say anything!

Answer 259

'im sorry is already meaningless'

Answer 260

go to a counselor.....that would be my advice.....no one ever said that marriage would be easy....perhaps ther eis somethign wrong with him and he is trying to be the tough guy...or perhaps it is somthing else....i say counseling NOW not later.

Answer 261

Put things in the reverse.eg. if u normally ask how was his day when he comes in dont do it any more..... in that way the moron would want to know y the sudden change of attitude if he's that observant!!

Answer 262

it's probably you're boring and he...what was the question?

Answer 263

Ditch him. That's what you should do.

Answer 264

Save yourself. Move on.

Answer 265

Then it's time to move on. When you no longer matter, it's time to find someone who appreciates you for the person you truly are. You deserve much more than this.

Answer 266

slap him and he will remember

Answer 267

LEAVE DONT WASTE LIFE

Answer 268

it is like saying I LOVE YOU these days!!!!!

Answer 269

when it won't be heard

Answer 270

Sounds like you already answered your own question...... listen to your self, you dont need justification or approval for your own feelings.

Answer 271

let him go, he cannot be tamed... LOL

Answer 272

If your not married and have kids, you need someone who will give you what you want and need (just leave). If you are married, try counseling before you decide to leave. If he is not interested, just leave or except that he will not change.

Answer 273

Do not say it.

Answer 274

give em the

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Answer 275

"I'm really sorry".

Answer 276

best advice i have for you dear... is please stand up for yourself.. be strong...

Answer 277

If you truly mean/feel you are sorry, then "I'm sorry" will never become meaningless.

Answer 278

follow your heart............and Pray to God for him to give you the answers your looking for...........Good Luck

Answer 279

Start to ignoring him. Like no meals and no laundry done. He will noticed. When he starts to talk to you. Act like he does to you.

Answer 280

shock him by not being availible for a couple of days, let him come looking and while you got his full attention tell him how you feel.

Answer 281

I WOULD SAY: "I APOLOGIZE"....................lol

Answer 282

say i apologize

then "move along move along like .........even when your hope is gone move along"

Answer 283

If he's your boyfriend, you should get rid of him. Maybe you can have a long talk with him, with lots of crying involved, give him a few angry punches and shout a lot. If that doesn't work out, just don't pay attention to him anymore.

Answer 284

My answer is a question: What do you think you really ought to do? What would you like to do?

Answer 285

Because you have no personal boundaries and no self esteem.



Go with it, don't fight it, you are a doormat.