First date woes - talked about another girl on our first date, then 3 day ruled me after the date?

Question

Me: Mid-40's, divorced for 15 years, lonely and would really like to meet the right guy.
Him: Mid-40's, divorced for less than a year, very cute and lives in my complex.

We both lead busy lives, but we went on a first date last weekend. The conversation was amazing, until he brought up an old high school romance, and said he might look her up on Facebook, even though he claims to detest Facebook. After dinner, he invited me to his place. I said no thanks. I'm not going to a guy's place on the first date. Then, he didn't talk to me for 3 days, and now he is texting me again.

Was it bad taste on his part to bring up the old girlfriend that he wants to be in contact with again? Is it bad taste for a guy to not talk to a girl for 3 days after going out with her? I don't want to ruin this chance, but I also don't like the way things have started out. What gives?

Answer 1

weird is you mention lonely in your description and that you want to date someone in your complex...that's like dating someone at work...both are huge nos in reference to it being awkward when it doesn't work.



weird is him asking you back to his place...on the first date (GOOD CHOICE ON YOUR PART)



weird is you wanting to date someone who has just been divorced for a year...BIG NO!



weird is him talking about a hs sweetheart and looking her up on face book why in the world would anyone say that...odd don't you think?...odd that he didn't have something else to talk about..



ok texting after 3 days...he didn't want to seem too needy.



I would kindly text back...thanks for thinking about me...thanks for the amazing date...I am currently reconnecting with an old guy from hs we connected on facebook after our date...I wish you the best thanks again



*(*

Answer 2

Bringing up an ex girlfriend from high school when he's in his mid 40's isn't really an issue. If he was talking about his ex-wife of less than a year ago then that would be a bit of a bigger deal. That being said, saying that he'd like to look her up on Facebook just makes no sense to me.



Try not to make too much out of this. Give him at least one or two more chances before you rule him out. No one is perfect and let's face it - you're in your mid 40's. If you go around with the "I'm holding out for the PERFECT man and won't settle for less" attitude that all the hot little 20 somethings are doing, you will be a lonely woman. Life experience should have taught you by now that you have to be somewhat realistic and even first impressions aren't always accurate.

Answer 3

you went on a date, you did the right thing by not going back to his place, he took 3 days to contact you again, you can take as long to respond. He is fresh out of a marriage and really not ready to be monogamous. I do think it was crappy of him to mention looking up another girl while on a date. Give him some space, don't sit around and wait for him, get yourself out there and have some fun.

Answer 4

It doesn't hurt to go on a few more dates, you're not marrying him. Eventually you will figure out if you really like him or not. Someone who follows the dating rules too well, ends up being a little manipulative and secretive anyway. When I date someone I want the real person, with no rules.

Answer 5

Yes it's in bad taste to talk about his hight school girlfriend, and he is in his FORTIES! He needs to stop living in high school!



If someone started talking about a woman he was thinking about contacting, and we were out on a first date, i'd feel as if i were second choice, and i wouldn't see him again. I might be a platonic friend, but nothing more.



Make him eat your dust.

Answer 6

He lives in your complex...don't date him unless you can easily, and are prepared to, move.



You aren't "ruining a chance", you're dodging a bullet.

Answer 7

Grow up- there are no more dating ruless after like age 17.

Answer 8

Yes it is on his part stupid

I say no sex

Go on dates ...but don't settle or get despetate