how do my wife and i approach another woman for 3 some?

Question

my wife is bi sexual, and nice looking. she is totally commited to me, but we did agree to bring another woman into the bedroom to have sex with us bith at the same time.you see, i do not want to deny my wife her natural cravings for the touch of another woman, and she likes to have sex with me and says it is a turn on to see me with another woman. we wont cheat on each other, but how do we ( or rather she) approach a lady without angering or offending her and let her know that tho we will be having fun with her, she isnt cheap, or a bad person? serious answers please

Answer 1

You could try the frontal approach....



"Hey, we were just wondering if you'd like to be a sexual party favor in our bed tonight?"



My guess is, no matter how you phrase it, most people are going to react badly.



Good Luck!

Answer 2

Go to a swingers club together and together meet someone there. I doubt that you'd offend someone unless they said no and you kept pressing them. People are there because they're either open to the lifestyle or curious about it so I'd doubt that someone would get angry because you approached them.



The problem with one of you approaching a woman without the other person being present or involved in that initial contact, is that you increase the chances of that 3rd person wanting one of you but not both. The 3rd person should get to know you both on the same level and not one before the other. By approaching the woman together, you show 1. that you're a solid unit out to have fun and nothing more, 2. that you're honestly looking for a 3rd and not being undercover about stepping out on the other.



As far as denying your wife a natural craving, I don't get that as being a reason to do a 3some. In my opinion, the ONLY time you should be considering it is when THE TWO OF YOU want to take your sex life to another level. It shouldn't be about either you or her solely. So, if you're doing this to satisfy one of you while the other simply doesn't mind, it wouldn't be a good idea. With my husband and me, swinger activity is something we were both equally interested in because we both had engaged in swinger activity long before we met each other.

Answer 3

We see this question or a variant about once every couple of days. Half the time, a couple has had one of these three-some deals. Here's a rundown of problems caused by them I've seen posted here: 1. Wife runs off with the woman. 2. You both get herpes and/or genital warts. 3. Other woman gets pregnant, sues you for child support. 4. You wife decides she wants to have second guy for a change. The guy wants to poke YOUR butt instead of hers. 5. The people you work with find out, and turn a cold shoulder to you. 6. People that engage in this stuff are on society's fringe, and are deviants. Some become stalkers. Some steal your identity and stick you with huge bills and messed up credit. The biggest problem of course is it totally changes the dynamic of the marriage. The next question we will get from you is about your divorce. Don't be another stupid guy, doing stupid things to mess up your life. You didn't mention if you have kids, but if you do why not ask if this is OK with them? After all, they are the ones that are going to really pay the price. The purpose of marriage is to create a stable environment to raise children in. You will NOT have that if you engage in deviant sex with strangers. You will not be able to control where it goes, and it will go somewhere you don't want it too. Grow up, use your brain. Kent in SD

Answer 4

I think you need to be up front and honest with the other woman about your likes and dislikes. Don't assume that she knows what your wife likes or what you like. Also, make sure you have that "safe word" that if any of the three of you feel uncomfortable, the word is said and everything stops, no questions asked.



As a woman, I have a hard time believing it would be a turn on for her to watch you have sex with another woman. Are you sure about that? Even if she says it's okay, be prepared that there may be feelings of jealousy arising out of this encounter.



Also, I would make sure the woman is tested for diseases and stuff first. Agree on birth control beforehand too.



I have never heard ONE person who's had a threesome who said it was an awesome experience and they can't wait to do it again. Most people say it's awkward, someone always feels left out, and it's not nearly as sexy as porn makes it out to be. Hence, the reason why I usually advise against it.



If you're going to do it anyway, just make sure the lady is clean and into safe sex as well. I would try the internet for what you're looking for. I'm sure there's plenty of people out there looking to be the "other person".

Answer 5

You have achieved what most men will only fantasize about. Congratulations. There is a great blog post about this (see resources) on this topic that is a riot!



There are plenty of swinger sites and clubs you can check out. Search for alternate lifestyle, polymory, swingers clubs, etc. You'll probably need to be near a major metropolitan area for these.



I would also suggest Jenny Block's book, "Open" about this lifestyle. She managed to have several girlfriends during her very solid marriage and a few of them weren't even bi-curious before they met her!



Patience, selection and giggles usually work. Your wife's eye contact with her potential partners is all she will need to know if there is potential or not.

Answer 6

First of all how you all know that the other lady is even down with a 3 some. You need to find that out first before you even ask her about having one. Just because that is something that you guys want doesn't mean that is what she wants. And I never understood how a man can fall in love or even marry someone that is bi-sexual. Because these type of issue are always going to come up in the relationship.

Answer 7

craigs lists are the source for the contact. But before you arrange remember majorities of people disapprove of open sexual activity. Critics have put forward moral, medical, and psychological objections to open relations. The lack of social acceptance places pressure on couples to hide their open sex from family, friends, and colleagues. This may limit their social support network, resulting in a loss of psychological and physical health benefits. There is no guarantee that you will try and stop it, most likely if both will like it you will repeat experience. If only one will like it, what will prevent him or her to try on his/her own with the remaining spouse suspicious and feeling hurt. Do not open a pandora box.

Answer 8

I think you should leave close friends (unless they are aware) out of the picture. I've seen ads on craigslist. I would also suggest looking up swinger parties. I knows it's just for another woman, but many single women might come. No one will reject you because you don't want a couple. If you were to see one at a bar or restuarant, i would simply walk up to her and say my wife and i seen you sitting here and would like to know if you would care to join us for drinks..

Answer 9

They have sites and classified for this. Use those.



PS adding others to your sex life may be asking for disaster. Your wife may be bisexual, but if she is commited to you, having sex with another would not be a concern or issue, but it seems its too late, or is it? What if she enjoys the woman much more than you? What if she decides she likes that better and that is what she wants? Its alot of things to consider, babe, think about it long and hard.

Answer 10

This is a stupid idea. Most threesomes are simpy a prelude to divorce. Women aren't capable of meaningless sex like men are, and tend to find "new love" after they have sex with another person.



If you want to stay married, it's much better if you simply cheat and don't involve your wife.

Answer 11

I wouldn't approach anyone. I can't fathom not being offended if someone asked me and I can't understand wanting to share my spouse...

Answer 12

SHE should talk to the women she is attracted too! Once she has a good relationship with them mention the fact that she has had bi relations in the past and see what the woman's reaction is!

Answer 13

Bringing a third person into your marriage is NEVER a good idea. Guaranteed, six months from now, one of you will the other for the third woman or somebody completely different.

Answer 14

I would approach this subject very carefully with whomever you meet

Answer 15

I stole my 3rd from my friend. She was his girlfriend... now she's MY girlfriend...LOL



But seriously, I don't really know any other way. I wouldn't do the whole craigslist thing.. that's just gross.

Answer 16

Line up a good doctor and divorce attorney first.

Answer 17

I'm sorry, but if you are having sex with someone else-- or She is having sex with someone else it IS cheating.

Don't do it.

You're marriage will be over.

Trust me.

Answer 18

sorry but you are disgusting. If she's committed to you, don't mess things up.

Answer 19

oops - that time of day -

the 3 some questions are on now

Answer 20

Hate to sound like a parrot, but



"Not a good idea, not a good idea"



*caw caw*

Answer 21

maybe try swinger clubs, or bi-sexual clubs that have people in the same situation, so everyone is sure to be cool with it.

Answer 22

she will drop you and dump you soon after.....no woman wants to see her man touching and loving another woman.



go to a party, a bar and meet anyone you want...

Answer 23

Oh yeah, it's all about YOU baby!



LOL!!!



What an azzclown....dudes like you crack me up....nice fantasy you got there, "Oh my wife is soooo hot, and she wants hot sex with other hot women and they will ALL just want ME ME ME ME ME as I am such a stuuuuuud......." LMFAO!



Keep DREAMING!

Answer 24

I just vomited...what a disgrace

Answer 25

craigslist or adultfriend finder.

Answer 26

www.sdc.com