Guys I need your advice! If you were in a (live-in) relationship for 3 years and the girl decided that you?

Question

shouldn't live together anymore and kicked you out, would you still date her? I kicked my boyfriend out because he hasn't proposed in 3 years and I am no longer content with our stagnant relationship. He wanted to continue to live with me but not commit. Also, I've had many talks with him about my feelings. We went out to look at engagement rings 2 weeks ago, only for him to say, 1 week later, he did it because I pressured him! Who's right, here? Where do I go from here? Serious replies only. Thank you.

Answer 1

If you want to be married you absolutely did the right thing. Pressuring someone in to marrying you is a dire mistake and wrong in every way, however moving on because you aren't getting what you want out of a relationship is absolutely the right thing to do. No I wouldn't continue dating him, you know its not going where you want to go. Thats like getting on the wrong bus and then being disappointed because it went the wrong direction. The sign on the front of this one says I'm Not Marrying You, that is where that ride will take you. Take a different bus!

Answer 2

I think you did the right thing, I have a sister and I don't want any slacker beating around the bush either.



Even though they say the world is now a equal. It's not, guys may have up to a age (Maybe late 30's) where they then want to settle down and more often then not they don't have trouble meeting another lady.



But for women to do the same thing, it is much harder for them to find the right partner at that age. Sure it's okay to live together and not get married if and only if both parties agree to it and understand.



But if one person wants to commit and the other feels pressuried then they are not ready to commit. And this is basically a fork in the road where you both must make your decision. Some people grow apart like what you may have just described.

Maybe one or two years is fine.... three is touching it.... (but is okay if finances is a problem) .... but once you are in that point of the relationship of being together for a long while... there must be a commitment process.



Normally if a woman wants to be with a man, a commitment will be on the table further down the line unless they both understand that it's just dating but when it turns serious it will most likely turn into a marriage down the line or what choice pleases you. Some guys are oblivious to this and just needs a wake up call.



Talk to him to see if his serious, if he just wants to date longer thats his choice... but if you can't wait for his commitment then you can't wait.

It's just indifferences and you have to do what you need to do.



Even if that means leaving him for someone willing to settle down. No ones getting any younger.

Answer 3

ok honestly this guy is just not into you seriously the only reason i think he wants to stay with you is because he feels eighter an obligation, is afraid to be alone, or for someother stupid reason, in situations like this a girl always ask why why no marry me dont you love me enough and the answer is no why he may love you but he is not inlove with you the way he use to when you to just first met my advis e is cut him lose, go out, dont commit at least not yet, get out into the dating scene for a while and maybe after he sees you dating he'll realize what he's been missing maybe you'll get back together maybe.

Now from a guy's point of view, I think that your just convenient and he gets free sex. If he really cares for you and after seeing you dating other guys, he just might realize he lost someone special. Does he take you out or are you just at home watching movies? That's a good indicator of your relationship being stale and stagnant. You really should consider moving on after 3 years.

Answer 4

Pressuring someone isn't really a good thing. Although, he should be proposing by now. I think there are many things to consider also. Maybe he is planning on a new career or maybe there's something that he needs to do before committing fully. There's also a chance that your boyfriend do not believe in marriage. There are many people who thinks marriage is overrated or just a paper you sign infront of a priest or judge. I was in the same situation as you a year ago. My husband and I are very much in-love with each other. We lived together for 2 years. I have been constantly asking him about marriage but he insist on not doing it because he thinks marriage is just a piece of paper. He also said it will never change our relationship. We finally decided last year to get married, although he still believes that. Anyways, if I was in your situation, I would not date him anymore, maybe you love him, but if he isn't giving you what you want like the marriage thing, or fully committing to your relationship, then maybe he's not for you.

Answer 5

I think that he did only do it because you pressured him. He obviousy doesn't want to marry you right now. He may never be ready. So thing is you have to decide how important this is to you- you don't want a marriage based off a fight/pressure. So, if you are fed up with this enough to kick him out of the house, I would say kick him out of your life.

Sex and the City described a guy proposing like a taxi cab. When the light goes on, the next girl that gets in gets the ring (this granted she's not crazy or horrible)- if everything in your relationship is fine than his light just isn't on, so you have to just weigh your want to get married with your want for him in your life.

Answer 6

I know you said guys only, but I felt like I had to say something. You cannot keep a man that doesn't want to be kept. I don't know whether you get that or not...if a man doesn't want to be in a relationship, you can't successfully hold them there (meaning: he'll probably stay, but he won't be a good partner...he may cheat, or not work, or not pay bills, or not be honest with you, etc.).



Never accept a marriage proposal from a man under duress. It's not a genuine proposal, and it won't do either of you any good. Some men don't know how to voice this, but this is really how it will be. Do you want a genuine partner who really loves you or an imaginary husband who is just appeasing you?

Answer 7

If you pressure a man into marrying you before he's ready, it will more than likely end in divorce anyway. Three years is nothing. Some people live together or date over a decade before a proposal. Living together is a commitment in itself. If he's not ready to marry, he's not ready and there isn't really anything you can do to make him get there faster. So, either wait, because you love him or let him go.

Answer 8

I applaud you for being so strong. You did the right thing. As far as dating him, I would avise not to. What is the point? He has made it clear that he does not want to get married. I say move on with your life. If after some time without you he shows up with a ring and a changed heart, maybe give it some thought. If not, then so be it, better to find out now than to waste another 3 years waiting for him.

Answer 9

Maybe you should take a break from each other and date other people. If you guys end up back together then it was meant to be. You can't force someone to do something they don't want to do and if you did you would hate life with this person b/c they would be unhappy. A break from each other will tell the truth rather or not you are meant to be. If they miss you enough.....they will have time to think about life without you and may decide to get hitched after all. If not then move on.

Answer 10

baby some guys are afraid to commit. I have a son the same way. He is on the 30 year plan. His gf and him will live together for 30 years before they get married. They have been together for 4 years now. The question both pardners need to ask is, "Do I really love you?" Don't fight about it, but talk about it with each other. Take time to think about what life will be like once you have gone your separate ways. The biggest thing is, don't fight about it, talk about it. good luck

Answer 11

okay. i can tell u love the guy. i feel that in a sense ur right and in a sense ur wrong.



Wrong because u kind of pressured him into it. Maybe he was lookin for a perfect time and place to propose. But i mean after 3 yrs id be pissed 2.



Right because if he didnt love u the way u loved him then he wouldnt have moved in with u. he should of proposed long time ago.

Answer 12

U know what . it is as old as the earth.. u lived with him there goes some respect about yourself and strength.. you let it happen he took it why not? why buy the cow when the milk is free. men marry girls because they want to .. he doesn't want that.. he is comfortable getting his needs and not committing .. he can alwasy say well were not married it dont count or babies hm.. he wotn have to support it u aint married. this is the hardest thing in a relationship.. u date u get close u want to be with them livign toegether but it takes the respect away and your morals and ur ethics. so u made it ok by agreeing to be in that situation .. now if u dated all this time adn take turns spending the night at each others home it wouldve been easier for him to want to marry .. hes not ready go on throw him away the jerk before u spend more of ur time on him.. life is going by fast.. who needs that? you want to grow he dont ..

Answer 13

I doubt that I would live with a woman unless I was married to her, but if she dumped me no way I would be seen anywhere close to her. He sounds a little undecided about where he wants to go in life, in general. If he hasn't packed everything up yet, do so and put it out the front door. I'm not sure one who is wrong or right in this situation but I don't think it would work. Leave him and find someone who will fit you and your life.

Answer 14

The thing about this is that u shouldnt hav kicked him out just bcuz he didnt propose to after all this time. When the time is right, he will propose to u. I knew a couple who dated for 7 yrs bfore the guy proposed, the time just has to be right.

Answer 15

Probably not.



It seems that you want the commitment and he's happy where he is.



Obviously that's not a compatible relationship and you're unhappy because of it.



You should consider looking elsewhere for someone who is more compatible with your goals in life instead of trying pressuring someone who isn't to marry you.

Answer 16

If your desire is to be married, and this guy isn't ready after 3 years, then I'd bail. Marriage is not only a civil contract, it is a social expression of love and public committment. It says we are a team, and it says that our children come from a union of committment. If you want marriage. he ain't it, tell his so, and get on with your life. Watch and see -- he'll marry the next lady he dates!!!!!

Answer 17

I think first you need to find out the reasons why he is not ready to propose. Maybe they are valid and the two of you could try and work something out until he is ready. 3 years is a long time to throw away.

Answer 18

Honestly you never should have started living with him but what's done is done. You found out that the guy is scared of commitment. If you can kick him out of your place then you can get along without him. Finish him off by dumping him and get on with your life.

Answer 19

You have the wrong man. If you spend that much time with a person, I think three years is enough to know whether to move on or not. I hope you didn't support him too (that's a different story). You can find someone else who will show you the emotional support you need and cares about you. Good luck, you can do it!

Answer 20

you did the right thing, you stood up for what you believe in and now he will see that there is no one else out there for him like you, and when he comes back I bet it will be with a ring and a proposal but you'll have to make the decision whether or not you want to take him back.

Answer 21

if you don't want to be with him, don't be with him on any level. if you continue to sill date him, he is still getting what he wants without the commitment. 3 years is not that long. it takes some people longer to make serious commitments. if you think he's worth keeping, try to be more patient. if not, kick him to the curb and move on.

Answer 22

I have never wanted to commit to any of my past girl friends. Retrospectively, I realise that it is because I did not love them enough for that. I think you are right to kik him out if you are after a life long commitment.

Answer 23

You made the right decision. He's not ready to tie the knot and you apparently were. If he felt like you were pressuring him, just say you released the pressure by letting him go.

Answer 24

Girl don't even waste your time with this brother, he clearly doesn't anything from this relationship, if you had to convince him to go ring shopping with you then he's not worth marrying. It will only get worse for you. Cut your losses and move on.

Answer 25

I think you did the right thing. If the guy doesn't want to marry you, and you have strong feelings about it, then you really did the right thing.

If he cannot commit, then why should you keep on living together?

Answer 26

you have to realize that marriage to guys means no more hanging out with the guys,it can be real scary.but i think you may have done the right thing.if he loves you more than his Friends,he will go through with it.

also you must realize,after you are married you go into a new tax bracket.not as much money at the end of the year

Answer 27

He should not have proposed if he didn't want to. That was rude of him to say to you. You should wait to live with him again until you get married. If he leaves good riddance.

Answer 28

I wouldn't want to date you and I would tell you to get back out to dating other people after you give yourself a month or two.

Answer 29

well, you should not pressured him....but after 3 years...it should not have been pressure...should have been something he had been doing for a long time.......sounds to me like he was getting what he wanted, and that is all that mattered to him....you are better off without him

Answer 30

Been there done that! BYE BYE. ADIOS ,etc. He is not ready and is NOT the the one! Why should he " buy" when the milks free? Good Luck!! Get out. It will hurt, he will be missed... or move on.

Answer 31

You did the right thing. Now what to do?....Move on girl, find your self a real man that you can have a future with. I'm sure you won't have any problem finding a man... you hot sexy thing!!!!

Answer 32

If you wanted to get married then you did the right thing. You have waited long enough.

Answer 33

and action

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1





wow it as right what u did

hes a ***, just get a guy that can treat u right

and that he would not be a cheap biatch 2 not buy u a engament ring





and CUT

thats a rap

Answer 34

You were practically married already. You need to be bound in a legal contract to feel like you're in love? That's sick. Call him back and ask for forgiveness.

Answer 35

My wife and I " Dated " for 6 years before we got married....give it a chance...he'll come around

Answer 36

Tell her to get a life and that shr lost the best thing she will every have,There more fish in the sea.

Answer 37

if u get married, b prepared 2 make a lot of his decisions

Answer 38

Yes......... you did the right thing.... sounds to me like he was free loading off of you..... he will no doubt try to find a new mama to sponge off of. You will find a new man that appreciates you.



.........sometimes the "O" Wise One..........knows

Answer 39

Dumb the loser. He probably has a white girl on the side.

Answer 40

why buy the cow when you get the milk free?