Hubby hides how much he spends... how do you handle that?

Question

My husband loves computers. He likes to talk about them, help people with their problems (say on forums and such) and keep up with the best technology.

Then thing is, once you buy a computer component, it literally is 1/2 it's worth when it arrives at your door-step. New and better things come out all the time.

My problem is, he lies as to how much he paid for an item. I've never given him reason to feel he needs to lie. I've never told him that he CAN'T buy it, but he also knows we can't afford it either right now.

So, after a few weeks of new packages at our door stop and new components being installed, I finally get the bill... it's OVER $900! WTF! He knows we can't afford that... even if it's on credit accounts [paypal buyers credit, and newegg.com credit (which I cannot close - because they are in his name).

I don't know what to do, besides blowing my top off. We're trying to pay off debt, and he just keeps adding more!

Answer 1

Talk to him about this. He obviously doesnt understand your need to pay off your existing debt. He just sounds extremely obsessed with computers and while theres nothing wrong with that, he needs to be mindful of taking care of his family.

Answer 2

If he knows you can't afford it, then that's why he's lying to you. Some men can be so selfish (and women, too, for that matter). But when you're married, it's suppose to be a "Partnership"; although some don't think so. Sometimes people have to learn the hard way; when the day comes and they realize they can't make the payments. Alot think that will never happen to them.

Answer 3

Simply because he knows he is wrong and can't justify to you or himself so he'd rather lie. Also it's the mother syndrome. Even though you are right in what you are doing, they play the i have a mother "card".



I am not sure what your situation is. If talking doesn't work you'll have to get creative, to put things back into prospective again.

Answer 4

It's just a compulsion. My fiance is the same way but it's his money, so I don't care. But he still lies about it. I think he feels stupid afterwards & that's why he lies about it. In any case, since you have combined credit & debt, you really need to talk to him about it, because the less you say, the worse it will get. You need to have a major sit down over this one.

Answer 5

I think you need to separate your money - if you are working then take your paycheck and get your own accounts. Stop trying to pay off debt. Let him worry about it.



If you are not working then you are up a creek without a paddle and will just have to ship it all back..

Answer 6

You better watch that sh!t he could be hiding hotel bills or supporting a on-line prostitute.

Answer 7

You asked all this earlier!