A little help here please! Maybe a little lengthy, but please read.?

Question

I thought I'd ask in here being that I plan on marrying this girl and I'd rather not have a 15 year old try to give me advice.

So, let's get started, shall we...
My girlfriend (Gemini) and I (Pisces) have been together a little over 5 months now.She is a few years younger than me and in some aspects I can notice it, but for the most part she is very mature. It's been great so far, we've had our little disagreements and misunderstandings, but we've worked through them. I am very in love with her and have never felt love this intense and her with me. She is a very guarded person and she has been able to tell me things she's never told anyone aside from family, which is huge for her. She says she is so comfortable with me and loves spending time with me and I, with her. I know she is the one I want to be with for the rest of my life. I have never been so certain of something along the lines of this in a relationship.


Now, to get to my inquiry for a little help...
She is usually a distant person when it comes to matters of the heart, but with me she is very loving and affectionate, where she hasn't been in the past, but the other day I noticed her being very distant and detached. We were supposed to hang out a few times and she decided she didn't want to. I let it slide a couple times, but it happened again. She would call me, but when it came to seeing each other, she would turn me down. I found it a bit peculiar, so I called her out on it, I might have gone about it in the wrong way by saying "Why are you avoiding me?" She got a little upset and said she would talk to me later. I apologized through text and she responded that she's just wanted "me time" and she's ok and she loves me and appreciates everything I do. The me time thing is understandable, I get that, but it came out of nowhere, especially since she loves to be around me. I haven't talked to her at all today and I really don't like that. I'm just hoping it's "me time" she needs and she's not breaking up with me or found another guy. What should I do?

Answer 1

With patience comes understanding. I am really good at reading people, and she is stressed about something meaning: something has happened and you need to find out. The best way to do that, is just be with her, and reassure her that no matter what you will be with her, and that you will do whatever she needs to help her out. Dont be pushy, she will tell you if you listen to my directions. You could have summarized that in two sentences... Anyways you owe me big time...

Answer 2

How old are you two? You yourself don't sound very old - and more importantly, you don't sound very mature or very experienced in relationships. Five months is about the time that that the "initial romance" starts to wear off, and whatever weirdness is going to emerge from a relationship starts to emerge. YOU sound excessively romantic, and it seems as though, based on barely knowing her, you have invested her with all kinds of characteristics that she may not have. This is why it is a good idea to take it slow and see what happens.



A lot of times people who are introverts (what you call "distant"..) will start to get very squirrelly when things become Super Serious and when the loved one is constantly constantly THERE. The fact that you are talking about her with such certainty as "The One" may be scaring the stuffin's out of her. The fact that you are older than she is does not change the fact that she is NOT in the same place as you - and frankly, it sounds as though the style of relationship that YOU want may not be the same as what SHE wants - and she may not really be able to articulate that very well.



I'm sure it is just "me" time that she wants. But you need to ask yourself why you are so clingy and why you don't believe her. I mean really, "you don't like that"? that you haven't talked to her today? Ick. Why are you so untrusting and insecure? My guess is that you want to be surgically attached to her - there just about all the time, just sucking her dry like a wornout old sponge - and she does not like this, and is feeling smothered, and you will wind up killing the relationship because you need/want/demand more than she is willing to give. She needs space - and space without your having a heart attack wanting more from her and getting all clingy and insecure on her, every time she gets space. There is nothing wrong with her wanting space. I just think that you want someone who is more needy and clingy than she is.



Back off.

Answer 3

She may have just been moody. She didn't say anything to show that she wants to break up. It just seems like she doesn't want to loose her individuality, which is healthy. I don't think there is any need for alarm.