If you were married 22 years and y/man cheated w/someone that looked like ms. piggy but said he loved only you

Question

If you were married 22 years and y/man cheated w/someone that looked like ms. piggy but said he loved only you

Answer 1

22 years is a long time with a lot of bonds and a lot of memories, It is going to take a long time to heal from such a betrayal, with a lot of work from both of you. Only you know what is best for you. He needs to prove to you that this will never happen again and once trust in a marriage is broken it is very hard to fix. You have to weigh out the pros and con's. Counseling is good, but both of you have to be willing to go. I feel for you. Good luck in whatever you do.

Answer 2

First off, I wouldn't entrust a potentially life changing decision to complete strangers to give you the answer to that. We all don't know you or your spouse and we don't know the facts of the history of your relationship. Even if one of us has been through something of that nature (with been in a relationship that long and then the partner cheats), you have to realize that every circumstance is different. Are you spiritual/religious? If so, maybe you should pray about it. If you're not, maybe you should take some time to think about what's right for you. If your kids are almost grown, don't you think that they'd rather you be happy?

Answer 3

Well, if you can learn to trust him again and don't think he will cheat on you anymore. Then stay, alot of wome have done that, and it could be the best thing, maybe he really is sorry.

Answer 4

Prayer is your first place to start.

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Ask them to buy there 6 CD's on Making Marriage Work"



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Answer 5

How long has it been? Have you tried counseling? You need to find out what went wrong in your marriage. Blaming and insulting the other woman is not going to help. He was the one who cheated on you not her. She never made a commitment to you he did. It may take a while to earn your trust back. Only you know if the love you have shared in the last 22 years is worth enough to forgive him. Give yourself some time. I, of course, am assuming he was faithful for the first 22 years of marriage. If he was then I don't believe the whole "Once a cheater-Always a cheater" comes in to play. I think it has something to do with his own emotional state. If he is a repeat offender drop him and try to focus on you and what little time you have left with your children. Make that your first priority.

Answer 6

be gone!!! think about it..if he cheated on you with ms. piggy just think what he will do if an attractive woman shows him attention..and your kids are almost grown..you shouldn't even ask...you should be packing !!!!

Answer 7

apparently he is not one for judging people because of their apperances. i think you have more of a problem with the lady he choose to cheat with over the fact he cheated. thats whats wrong with women now they believe its all about your apperance...did you ever sit and consider maybe this lady opened her heart and ear up to him. men or just liek women they also need some attention.

Answer 8

who said start over......Just go on without him.....that is not starting over just making changes....something that is done daily...adapt.

Answer 9

I would cheat too to give him a taste of how you are feeling, then dump his ***.

Answer 10

I don't think what she looked like has anything to do with anything. If he cheated once,and ya found out,you KNOW he's done it before,ya just didn't catch him. Leave,or live with a cheater,your choice

Answer 11

XXXXX cheating is cheating nomatter what she looked like. I'd rather do bad alone than to put up with infidelity. Women stay with cheaters for fear of being alone, married men become pathilogical cheaters because they know their wife will be there kissing there feet afterwards. Glad I'm not you. He would have been kicked to the curb with Miss Piggy.





Leviticus 18

1 The LORD told Moses

2 to tell the people of Israel: I am the LORD your God!

3 So don't follow the customs of Egypt where you used to live or those of Canaan where I am bringing you.

4 I am the LORD your God, and you must obey my teachings.

5 Obey them and you will live. I am the LORD.

6 Don't have sex with any of your close relatives,

7 especially your own mother. This would disgrace your father.

8 And don't disgrace him by having sex with any of his other wives.

9 Don't have sex with your sister or stepsister, whether you grew up together or not.

10 Don't disgrace yourself by having sex with your granddaughter

11 or half sister

12 or a sister of your father or mother.

13 (SEE 18:12)

14 Don't disgrace your uncle by having sex with his wife.

15 Don't have sex with your daughter-in-law

16 or sister-in-law.

17 And don't have sex with the daughter or granddaughter of any woman that you have earlier had sex with. You may be having sex with a relative, and that would make you unclean.

18 As long as your wife is alive, don't cause trouble for her by taking one of her sisters as a second wife.

19 When a woman is having her monthly period, she is unclean, so don't have sex with her.

20 Don't have sex with another man's wife--that would make you unclean.

21 Don't sacrifice your children on the altar fires to the god Molech. I am the LORD your God, and that would disgrace me.

22 It is disgusting for a man to have sex with another man.

23 Anyone who has sex with an animal is unclean.

24 Don't make yourselves unclean by any of these disgusting practices of those nations that I am forcing out of the land for you. They made themselves

25 and the land so unclean, that I punished the land because of their sins, and I made it vomit them up.

26 Now don't do these sickening things that make the land filthy. Instead, obey my laws and teachings.

27 (SEE 18:26)

28 Then the land won't become sick of you and vomit you up, just as it did them.

29 If any of you do these vulgar, disgusting things, you will be unclean and no longer belong to my people. I am the LORD your God, and I forbid you to follow their sickening way of life.

30 (SEE 18:29)





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Answer 12

This Site Might Help You.



RE:

If you were married 22 years and y/man cheated w/someone that looked like ms. piggy but said he loved only you

so anyway, you stayed but can't get over the fact that he had sex with someone else, I don't know what to do. I am not ugly, but can't imagine starting over even though our kids are almost grown.

Answer 13

The biggest question is if you want to stay with him. You are going to have to get it out of your system that he slept with another person (ugly or pretty). The reason he did it was because of the attention he got from her. Plain and simple, right or wrong. If you decide to stay with him, you will need to tell him exactly how you feel and then not bring it up all the time during future arguments. That can kill whatever is left of the relationship. If you do decide to leave, then that is already a given as to what you will do.



Only you can decide if you want to forgive him. Remeber this, though. Nothing is worse than being forgiven and then having that mistake thrown in your face when it is convenient.



That's my best answer for you. Good luck with it. Sorry he cheated on you.

Answer 14

the same thing happened to me about a year ago and it took along time to get over it i think all men are fuckups and cant control thierselves, so of you move on mabe expect worse from someone else cause my husband is the last person on earthi would expect to betray me and he did with a crack head looking chick and im not ugly at all, i just think they feel that after being in a relationship for so long they want to see if they still have it if you know what i mean, but like i said men all assholes and i stayed because he truly said hell never do it again and i believe him i also go out on 2 strikes not one not 3 because if they do it once 3 times seems too many and one time seems like a big mistake i always give a second chance but not a 3rd keep that in mind, good luck and if he says hes sorry and truly means it than forgive im not saying forget that will take time but everyone deserves a second chance

Answer 15

Is this the first time your man cheated? If so, then I would forgive him if he said he'd never do it again and he loves you. However, if this is a repeat, then, I'd think twice. My hubby cheated on me a few years back too (another Miss Piggy) and I gave him the boot. He cried for 8 months before I took him back. He hasn't cheated on me since, and its been 4 years. I always told him that when a man doesn't come home or sits in a bar without his wife, then hes doing something wrong. I've been married for 23 years myself, and I too, couldn't imagine starting over! Marriage is full up ups and downs and sometimes we just have to learn to forgive. God bless you both!

Answer 16

This is a decision that only you can make. Would you be happier without him? Everyone is different, you have to decide what is the best decision for you.



My husband knows there are two "deal breakers" in our relationship that would cause me to divorce him and not look back. No second chances, no counseling, nothing. I would be devastated but I know I wouldn't be able to put it behind us so the best thing for me would be to end it. Those two things are infidelity and violence. I can't think of anything else that we couldn't work through...but personally I could never trust him again if he ever cheated on me or hit me.



I know a lot of couples work through infidelity issues and I applaud them. I just couldn't do it myself. You have to decide for yourself if you can forgive him or not.



Good luck with whatever you decide. I've been married 17 years and I can only imagine how sad this must make you feel.

Answer 17

This happens to a lot of people, I was lucky enough at the age of 7 to catch my dad cheating on my mom...this is a choice you have to make. If you think you can deal with this in any way then try that first. A lot of people will stay married but lead completely seperate lives. I'm young enough that I would go out and do the same thing...even things up a bit. Anway, good luck with whatever you choose!

Answer 18

Sadly, men do have the ability to seperate sex, and love. Sounds like he went through a mid life crisis. First thing, if you love him and are going to try to work it out, Make sure you don't sleep with him again til he is tested for every STD out there. Talk to your doctor about how many times he should be tested before you have sex again. (some diseases may not show up the first time, (like HIV) and you'll need to be tested again 6 months after that. In the meantime, you both need counciling. If he truly loves you, and wants to work it out, he needs to be very open to having you know his every move. For example, no out of town trips. No nights out with the boys. No staying late after work, unless he know you can stop in at any given moment. (and do it!) No computer usage in the home behind closed doors. (e-mail, IM, and P**N access) no phone calls w/o you in the room. etc. No errands to the store w/o you. And you do this as long as it takes for you to feel you can trust him again. Then you still do it from time to time, just to be sure, cause let's face it; when men cheat, we never truly, completely trust 100% again, do we? So, once he's proven you can trust him, and he's been going out on his own to the store, whatever, and he says one day "I'm gonna run down town; I'll be back in a cpl hrs. Say, great! I'll go with you! and watch his reaction. Watch to see whether he suddenly needs to make a phone call before you go, or check the PC. Then once you are out, watch his behavior around you. Does he seem nerveous, or does he try to get away from you at all? Or do you go somewhere other than where he said he needed to go? Little things say a lot. If he is not willing to follow the restrictions to re-establish even a little trust, it's because he'll do it again, and you'll be better off w/o him. But men who love their wives properly will find ways to avoid cheating in the first place. If he says he loves you, make him earn yours. How did you find out he cheated, anyway? Did you catch him, or did he tell you? And if he told you, why did he tell you? Is she pregnant, was she going to tell, and how long did the affair last? that will also tell a lot about him, and whether it's worth trying to save your relationship. Do your kids know about it? if so, what do they feel? If not, are you planning to tell them? WB, okay?

Answer 19

The appearance of the woman he cheated with means nothing...if you cannot and/or choose not to forgive, then take the steps necessary to end the marriage and move on...he certainly wasn't showing love for you while he was having sex with someone else...



The decision is yours though...you have to weigh the reason(s) he gave...decide if you can trust him again...decide if you are willing to put it behind you or not...



Don't look at it as the idea of "if I leave him I'll have to start all over in the dating/relationship world"...that should be the furthest thing from your mind...focus on whether or not you will be happy to continue to be married to this person...if not, will couples counseling help? if not then why stay? why settle?

Answer 20

Get over it lady. All men srew up. You have a wonderful husband and kids and 22 years of history. Don't let Miss Piggy take that away from you all for one night. Even if your husband cheats on you twice, I would not automatically divorce him. Being single and divorced sucks. Not only that, it can make all parties a lot poorer.

Answer 21

It's always hard to start over when you've been with someone as long as you have. Let me ask you this, do you love him? If you answered yes, then drop it. If you truly love him and don't want to lose him, then forgive and forget. If what he did is going to be a constant reminder to you, then leave. You don't need that in your life. You need to think about you and your feelings because he sure didn't. What do you really want? Don't waste your life on someone who doesn't know how to appreciate you. You deserve better and can certainly find better. I hope I could help.

Answer 22

well first of all im sorry for what has happened to you, i could only imagine the pain that this has caused you. sometimes men can be so stupid, they surely dont always think b 4 they act. and honestly the outcome of this relationship is your call, do you love him enought to forgive him? i myself would not stay with someone that cheated on me, only because i watched my father cheat on my mother time and time again and she satid with him because she wanted us to have our father, she finally left him after 25 yrs of marrige, and i vowed not to ever let that happen to me. you have to sit back and think about this one, do you truly love him or are you with him because you are comfortable and since you have been together for that long it seems to me like if you are comfortable, a man dosnt just go out and cheat, some other problems in the relationshio might have led to infedelitty, which i know that marital problems are no excuse but thats how men are. evaluate everything and you do whats best for you not for anyone else. your never to old to start over, and honestly i dont think that anyone could ever forgive their partner for doing that to them but thats my opinion. good luck and i hope you leave the a$$hole!

Answer 23

Marriage....Thats one thing your not suppose to mess up with. I'm kind of in the same situation...My boyfriend cheated on me with a very ugly and fat girl. And like you I am not ugly and I do get told I am beautiful all the time. I felt like s*** when I found out. And the only reason why I forgave him is because I truly believe that the incident happened only once because of how he told me what happened and just by the way we talked when we talked about it. He even went talking to my dad on how bad he felt. And I can truly believe that he won't do it again! So maybe you need to lok at all them factors!

Answer 24

In this case you really have to set the cheating part aside and analyze what you and your husband have. Does he still show you affection,love,respect do you do the same for him? If aside from the cheating the marriage is salvagable-give it another chance. Make new exciting memories together to override the one of him cheating. Talk to him and make it clear that you will divorce him if this happens again.Men cheat off of impulse.If a woman shows him attention or is loose,he may just give in-However most of the time will never think of leaving his wife for this type of woman.If your husband makes it clear that you are what he wants and he loves you-try to make it work! Good luck!!!!

Answer 25

Relationships should be built on trust. If it is a missing factor someone is getting the shaft put to them. Marriage is a two way street. If he loved you, he would not have cheated on you. Starting over will be difficult. Ask yourself the old question: Am I better off with him or without him? Respond accordingly.

Answer 26

You either let the past go or you can't. I know from experience that if you aren't willing to forgive then move on. The relationship will work only if you make "peace" with the fact your hubby messed up. Personally, I believe in second chances. God has given us many second chances. But only once does he mess up. Not twice, then it would be over. But if you can't forgive him... time wont change that and you are only making yourself misrable. It's hard letting go but ask yourself if its worth living with a constant bother of your husband's affair?

Answer 27

That's something only you can answer... but I think more marriages than not involve infidelity at some point in time. Weigh those 22 years against his indiscretion... maybe take some time apart. You may learn to live with it in the long run if you can take a step back.

Answer 28

Either forgive and forget and don't bring it up as a weapon,

or move on, don't stay in a relationship out of fear of not knowing, something you may never have imagined could happen and you find yourself happier for having the courage to do so.

Answer 29

I would bust up laughing and ask him THAT'S who you cheated with? I'd call him Kermie and tell him to kiss this marriage goodbye as he's lost his damn mind if he thinks I'm keeping his cheating butt around. Sorry, but I would put more emphasis on starting life anew without him more so than I would for a cheater that has a fetish for pig look-alike.

Answer 30

If u know that this will keep on bugging u, then the best thing to do is to move. Just because u have kids w/him shouldn't force u to stay. But if u truly love him and want to make it work, well then stay.....

Answer 31

you dont hurt or betray the ones you love. And if he loves you so much then why is he cheating? May be he needs help! If you love him and can find it in your heart to forgive him, and he is sorry and willing to talk openly and honestly, or maybe even seek proffessional help, then I would probly stay. A few I'm sorry gifts wouldnt hurt either

Answer 32

that fact that you were married for 22 years says something. Try to work thru this. I know it's hard. Maybe some councling may help. Good Luck

Answer 33

have you ever? should talk more about it. sometimes us men have a moment of insanely. most of the time i think its just a moment time you was not plan out you know now that might be a differant boat. if it was a plan meeting then id say hit the road but if it just happen let it slide

Answer 34

it is human life. situations are changing in the world due so many factors.we don't the future of family system.put a poll to men about their feelings on this topic.i suggest you have to adjust for the sake children and at the same time you have to take care of your partner.

Answer 35

both of you need to get into some serious marriage counseling or some deep intimate talks with each other and solve the underlying issues.....

Forgiving is a process and will only be achieved when you have spoken what's lingering in your heart...

Answer 36

try counseling to deal with the trust and respect issues that are certain to come up after one cheats. try it...if it doens't work and he doens't change his cheating way... BAIL ON HIM, hold your head up woman, starting over isn't the END of things

Answer 37

WOW....was there booze involved, drugs???? well i guess the reason doesn't much matter....kick ms. piggy's ***, stand your ground.....forgive but don't forget and if you notice he's up to no good, take half and run.

Answer 38

you will never forget,get your **** together and move on! spend time on your own,when the times right get someone who will treat you better, you will never get over him cheating on you, trust gone and that changes everything, believe me!

Answer 39

if I allowed him to stay-- it would be a looooonnnnnggggg time before he touch me again & then he would have to have every test that the doctor could give him

Answer 40

Suck it up and if he does it again leave him. He just used her for sex I am sure he still loves you.

Answer 41

send him back to miss piggy

Answer 42

Leave, If he has done it once he will do it again.

Answer 43

have you seen the movie waiting to exhale???? well, sell, burn and ruin his ****! and kick him out!

Answer 44

go and get somabody of you own

Answer 45

that sux, im sorry. dont know what to say

Answer 46

cut your loses. move on

Answer 47

divoce that bastard