If I marry someone who is OK, but am not in love with him, would marriage "create" love?

Question

Does the very fact that you are married & he is your husband now (or spouse) create love?

I have never been married so I don't know how "feelings" change (or if at all they change) after one enters matrimony with someone.

I understand, if we already love someone, then our love might increase with the marriage-bond, but what if we are not in love with the person? Suppose they are a friend who likes you, or suppose it's an arranged match where u r OK with the person, & there is not much time to know the person, and u are not in love yet.

What are the chances of falling in love after marriage.

Answer 1

I suppose it could happen, but do you really want to take that chance?

Answer 2

I'm sorry, the chances of falling in love after marriage happens in those books with Fabio on the cover. Why are you marrying this person anyway? Are the circumstances or the benefits of this marriage way better than the lack of love? That is for you to decide.



Marriage doesn't make you fall in love with the person. If anything else, marriage strengthens what is already there. If you don't love this person, just get to know them first. maybe you will fall in love then you can get married. If not, then move on to the next person and find that love.



By golly, when you meet "the one", you will know. Now imagine if you finally meet "the one" and you're stuck in a loveless marriage..with kids.

Answer 3

Marriage creates nothing! It is a state of being.



You create and control your own feelings. Arranged marriages have about the same or a lower divorce rate than marriages between people in love, but that may be because of cultural bias in the countries that regularly practice arranged betrothals.



You must establish common bonds of trust and mutual goals for a marriage to succeed. Love will change. You determine who you love and I don't mean the infatuation that most of the western world calls love, but true love. It is an active and changing creation that two people have to work at. Arranged or otherwise has nothing to do with that.



~D

Answer 4

Arranged marriages are different than love marriages for one major reason. People grow up knowing that their parents are going to arrange their marriage. They have spent many years accepting their fate and hoping that their parents picked well. Usually those people want their marriages to succeed because failure reflects on their parents and divorce is not an option.



Love marriages on the other hand require proper understanding. A successful love marriage is based upon two best friends who trust, respect and love each other in that order. Notice that love is last.



By the same token, your example of marrying a friend that you are not crazy about is not going to work. The trust is there, but the respect is not so clear. There is a chance that you will not respect your partner because he has feelings for you that you do not share.



Take care,

Troy

Answer 5

Slim to none. If this person is is a good person all around, then you may grow to love and care for him in that way-and vice versa. Just because you are married, feelings don't just grow into love. Its just a piece of paper...you have to work on and build a relationship and be compatible. I was butt crazy in love w/my husband at one point while dating. Not so much anymore. We had a kid, we had to start planning and budgeting... it shows you the kind of person the other is, and if they aren't rational or if they are selfish and handle things WAY differently than you would...that can create resentment, which DEFINITELY doesn't foster a growing love.

I would say you should get to know the person VERY well... just being OK isn't good enough at all.

Answer 6

You have only met once, you talk at least once a week, sounds like you send "love" or "romantic" cards. How do you know she loves you? How does she know you love her? Why don't you see each other? If you are to be married in 10 months I would think you should spend more time together to learn more about each other in person. Then the words I love you are said without questioning it.

Answer 7

It can happen, but most often than not, it won't. It used to work that way with arranged marriages, in time, some of the couples would start to really care for each other. But back then, divorce was not an option. Now that it is, it is hard to keep together couples who love each other, let alone a couple that doesn't love each other.

Answer 8

Arranged marriages seem to work great so marrying someone youre not crazy in love with initially maybe isn't so bad, but as long as you genuinely like him and care for him and as long as he genuinely likes and cares for you. I think love grows based on how the other person treats you. If he's kind and caring and giving and faithful and helpful than you can't help to fall in love, but it won't be the kind of lusty love that you see in young marriages (the kind that always fades away) or the kind that you see in stupid Hollywood movies.

Answer 9

Some marry for love. Some for money. Some are lucky enough to have both. If you are not in love, and think that marriage will change that , you are prolly wrong... if anything, you will wake up one morning and say to yourself"What did I do?" If this happens, you become divorced and possibly seen as used goods.



Avoid it by being absolutely sure of your decision, follow your heart, not your head.

Answer 10

Marriage creates many things. Falling IN love is certainly NOT one of those things!

PLEASE do NOT marry ANYONE on such a premise. Think of marriage as a garden. And the garden you expect will be weeds, rather than a beautiful array of colorful flowers........

Keep this person as a good friend, and see where it goes.

Answer 11

I don't think the chances are good that you will fall in love after marriage. I think you would get comfortable with the situation and mistake it for love, if your just OK with the person than they are not the one for you.

Answer 12

Sometimes love can grow out of this kind of relationship, but at that point so much depends on background and other factors. Typically, Americans do not fall in love after they get married. They fall out of love.

Answer 13

I wouldn't count on it. Marriage isn't easy and going into it without love might not be a good idea.



It takes a real partnership to make a marriage work.

Answer 14

If I marry someone who is OK, but am not in love with him, would marriage "create" love?













NOPE

Answer 15

lots of arranged marriages work. they tend to have a lower divorce rate than non-arranged, but that might have a lot to do with other cultural factors.

my opinion--

it could happen, but i wouldn't want it to happen to me!

Answer 16

A wedding has no change on how you feel.



TIme and genuine commitment to a life together and building passion might.

Answer 17

50/50 you could fall in love with him.Or you may see that you have made an mistake and then you will question your self thinking do you even still like the guy.

Answer 18

More likely it'll "create" divorce.

Answer 19

NO NO NO Only resentment

Answer 20

no it is not likly don't do it