Did my boyfriend just cheat on me? Is this considered cheating? Should I be upset?

Question

So, two night ago I was bored and the only person awake in my house. I decided to make a fake myspace profile and message my boyfriend to see what he would say. So I got some fake pictures of a girl that I thought was really pretty and I made the whole profile. I then sent a message to my boyfriend saying that I thought he and I had a lot in common and would he like to get to know each other better? He responded by saying sure... I was very flirty with him after this. Last night while he was talking to "her", I asked if he wanted my number so I could send him some "naughty" pics. He said he was considering it. He then went onto to say that he and his girlfriend were living with his parents and he moved in with them to save some money to buy a ring, but now he wasn't so sure that he wanted to. He was asking how long it had been since she'd had sex and everything, also. Then he wanted her to download instant messaging because he would rather be able to talk to her instantly. We live together and he was in the game room "playing video games" with the door shut while I was in our bedroom and answering him over the internet with my cell phone, so he had no idea that this was me. He did tell me that he was talking to a girl on myspace but assured me it was completely innocent and I asked him directly if I read his messages would I be mad? He said no that they were talking about Star Wars and video games. I let this go on for a while. About 2 weeks ago, while he was drunk, he admitted to me that he flirts with his co workers while he is at work. He has told me everyday since then that he never says anything to them that I would be mad about. But last night while he was talking to "her" he told her that he has "had a couple of slip ups". When he said that he was considering giving her his number for some naughty pics to "enjoy himself with later", he told her that I was not in the room with him but that when I get bored I will be back in there bothering him again. This is very disturbing to me. I then got so mad at his responses, I went into the room and told him he was a lying bastard and that I was "Lauren". He then followed me outside saying that he knew the whole time it was me and he was just seeing if I would admit to it. He then finally admitted he wasn't sure it was me but thought a friend was playing a joke on him and he was talking to her only to find out who it was. I find this very hard to believe given that when I asked to read the messages, he practically broke my hand trying to get the computer away from me. (this was before he knew it was me). So what do you guys think? Am I overreacting?

Answer 1

i wouldnt say that he cheated really, but that he was thinkin about it pretty dang hard....then it makes ya wonder exactly what kinda 'slip ups' he had. and the fact that he lied about knowing for sure it was you proves that he's willing to lie to you to keep himself out of trouble.



i dont think youre overreacting, i'd be flippin out a lil bit if i were you. [not psychotically of course, but you certainly have a reason to be upset]

Answer 2

it's very obvious you feel you cannot trust him or you would have never done this to begin with. Do you want to stay in a relationship you know has no trust, at least on your part ? Yes he is at fault but now he knows that you believe he would "flirt "and possibly cheat, but yet you stay ? What message does that send to him other than he can do what he wants and even if he gets caught you won't leave. If he really wants to cheat he will , you know that right ? Maybe you should come out and admit to him that you cannot trust him and because of this incident you really want to be up his a$$ and see what he says. If he is really not doing anything wrongh he won't mind.

Answer 3

well obviously you didnt trust him in the first place so you made a fake myspace to lead him into "internet cheating" or what have you....



honestly... have you ever talked bad about him? Said you needed a break, that he was driving you crazy by doing something in particular, to one of your best friends?

we all talk about the good the bad and the ugly in our relationships to someone at some point in time...



it sounds to me like you probably opened his eyes enough that, he'll probably be the one to leave you.... I'd never want to be in a relationship with a spy. Then again... when i'm in a relationship.... i dont have conversations like that with the opposite sex.... soo



no this isnt cheating... every man does this... a lot do worse... maybe he is doing worse, he's obviously a liar...



good luck in what ever you choose to do

Answer 4

There is a story I wrote called Cell Block 54. Synopsis....it's about a woman who has her husband charged with murder when he is innocent, but to prove he is innocent and get a new trial he must get his wife to admit that she knows who the real murderer is and she was a conspiracy for Insurance fraud. She was having an affair with a rich man and wanted his money and then planned to leave, but needed to get her husband out of the picture so she plans it on him.



So the husband knows she is computer lover and had affairs on him while meeting people on line. So what he does is pose as guy that falls in love with her on line and calls himself cell Cell Block54 They kick it off so well that she finally lets him on the secret, but the authorities need more than a printed computer chat line.



So he must now talk to her by disguising his voice and get her to admit over the phone and when she does all hell breaks loose.



The husband gets his revenge and she goes to prison for conspiracy in a murder and Insurance fraud.



I think you should not have to go behind your husband and try to hamstring him because that is grounds for a divorce.



Your situation is impulsive and makes me wonder why you can't be happily married.

Answer 5

If my fiance did this to me I'd full on kick his ***. Then again, he is a known liar. If your boyfriend hasn't lied to you before I'd believe him when he said he thought it was a friend playing a joke. Guys aren't stupid, they know when things are too good to be true. And in all honesty, if he's flirting with co-workers it's probably completely innocent otherwise he wouldn't have admitted to it. Follow the don't ask don't tell rule. You honestly do not want to hear that he's flirting, so just don't ask.

Answer 6

I think you are overreacting.he's a guy, of course he's going to flirt with a pretty girl online. You should be happy it wasn't worse than that. He could have asked her for her number, or asked her to send him naughty pictures which he didn't even say YES to when "she" offered to (he only said he would consider it). He wasn't cheating at all, he didn't ask "her" to meet up with him, and he didn't try to have cyber sex with "her". Plus, he mentioned you when he talked talked to "her", and talked about marrying you. If he was really going to cheat on you he would have told this girl he was single. Plus, it wasn't really nice of you to trick him like that. Like I said before, he's a guy and when a pretty girl messages him saying "she" thinks they have a lot in common, he's bound to respond and start a conversation. He probably didn't want you to see the messages because you would throw it out of proportion like you did. I say you go up to him, apologize for tricking him, tell him that you trust him because he did nothing wrong, and make up.This guy that loves you.

Answer 7

firstly i think it was wrong of u to have made those fake myspace profiles and stealing peoples pictures (u probably will get slated on here for that) but he does sound like a cheat. i would go bonkers if my bf was talking like that to someone else. i really think the trust has gone between u two (maybe the reason u made the fake profiles in the beginning) a relationship with no trust cant work.



have a serious talk with him and good luck hun ^__^

Answer 8

It's a yes and no answer.



You asked a question you already knew the answer to but didn't really want to hear. You do not trust your boyfriend; that much is clear.



So you set him up. That was dishonest, and he responded dishonestly.



Are you overreacting? Maybe. Maybe not.



The question you SHOULD be asking, if you don't trust him and he's unsure about your relationship is: Why are you still there?

Answer 9

there are trust issues in this on both parts...you are lying to him,pretending to be someone else to get him to slip up,,and he is lying to you and telling you he's not slipping up...this is not a healthy relationship,and neither of you needs to be considering marriage...if i were you,given that you cannot possibly trust him right now,,i would take a break from him for a while..if you live with him,move out and go stay with your parents,or a friend,or if you can get your own place,,stay in touch,,but keep a distance for a while..without trust neither of you is ever going to be happy....good luck.

Answer 10

I think what you did is very high schoolish of you. Relationships should be built on trust, which you obviously don't have since you constantly talk to him as this other women. You were trying to caught him.

You need to both reconsider this relationship because it doesn't sound like either one of you is ready for a commitment.

Answer 11

I think you owe him an apology. You knew exactly what "buttons" to push to entice him into this E-romance. He resisted your wiles for a long while and didn't initiate any thing. Weather he knew it was you or not, he was "flirting" with your persona. He ain't guilty of anything, you however are guilty of trickery and entrapment. Please be reasonable an look at his side of it. Play nice now. That wasn't fair.

Answer 12

It's not cheating...But hell yeah you have a right to be upset but then again on the phone # thing(if this is true) he could've seen if it was his friends.but talk to him and say what made you think it was me??And ask him more questions I don't know if you should forgive him or not....

Answer 13

Are you overreacting?! No way! Get rid of the asshole! I had to deal with someone like that..and trust me just get rid of him now. You'll be SOOOO much happier in the long run.

Answer 14

yes, he is a lying bastard...you would be surprised at how many guys fall for the fake myspace page

Answer 15

I think this is something you guys can work through, but you need to ask yourself if you feel it's worth it. If not, then try looking elsewhere.

Answer 16

Well you did kinda set him up for failure but at least you know now how he would react in that situation.

Answer 17

He is obviously no longer interested in you. You should send him packing. While what he did does not constitute cheating, it does mean that he is not in love with you.

Answer 18

Woah! That's a big story, good luck to anyone who gets passed the first sentence.....and good luck to you finding an answer.

Answer 19

i don't know what to say... this is a very tough decision for you good luck.. i hope you make the wisest decision...

Answer 20

i would have to sy u hve trust issue but u never know

Answer 21

dude just kick him the **** out he is not good enough for you! piece of ****.

Answer 22

snapped big time. i would b mad if i was u

Answer 23

You are WAAAAAY over reacting, and shame on you for cheating him by lying to him.

Answer 24

you should give him a break, go out to dinner tomorrow, I recommend the OUTBACK STEAKHOUSE, their steaks are delicious