How do i get back to normal after a 2 year abusive relationship?

Question

I was in an emotionally, verbally and physically abusive relationship for the past two years. And I finally worked up the courage to finish it 6 weeks ago today. I have depression and serious anxiety problems from all that he put me through.. But everything still feels so fresh and I am going to start counselling next week. But I just want to know if anyone has had any similar experiences or even if they havent and would love to hear some advice as to how to get myself out of this depression and back to the happy girl I was 2 years ago. I am only 22 years old and I am trying to maintain a positive outlook on life but it gets soo hard sometimes.. Any advice would be appreciated thanks .

Answer 1

Give yourself a makeover for starters. I'm talking new'do, new clothes, the whole 9yards. That way when u look in the mirror u don't look@ the person who was abused anymore.



Get w/girlfriends or family& have some fun nights out. Try meeting some other guys. Don't move extremely fast but befriend some& hang out, go on group dates& what not.



Get rid of anything that was a symbol of the old relationship. Clean out your house/apartment or wherever u stay. Change your cell phone number as well so he doesn't have any means of contacting u. A restraining order won't hurt either. Do all u can to NOT fall back into his arms. He is trash& u do not need him.

Answer 2

Recognizing that you're in an abusive relationship is the first step in getting out of it. You will have to be happy with yourself. Don't use your son as an excuse to stay. Your son loves him on the grounds that that is who he is aware of now. It's you and his father who he spends most of his time with so, logic stand he's going to be nearly both of you. You ought to consider long term. How will staying outcomes your son? While you go away and his father is now not in the snapshot, you need to supply him double (or a hundred times extra love). Find individuals to be close to (your loved ones or associates) as a way to provide him the love that he's going to now not be getting from his dad being around. Now, i'm not announcing to head run to the subsequent man who offers to take you in. If something, stay clear of relationships until you believe better about your self and except you have got reached a stable floor in your lifestyles along with your son. Exceptional needs. Be strong.

Answer 3

I haven't been in your situation. I respect that you have left after 2 years and didn't go through your life being abused so well done. I'm also glad your getting counselling.

Everything is still fresh, give yourself time to heal and with help you will be ok but it will take time.

Please don't rush into another relationship, get to know yourself again, my best wishes to you and good luck xxxx

Answer 4

Hey Girl,



Sorry, I am a guy.

My present Wife went through the same as you and I can repeat what She told me.

First of all you are aWoman, no Man has a right to abuse aWoman, and I as a Man hate Men that do.

Take time out Girl, mix with your friends as before and if not mix with them.

They will give you great support, talk to them, be open.

Get out the house, give yourself a routine, walk the dog and so on.

If you do not have aGog buy one and then walk it.

Forget the prick you were with, do not even think of going back as you will be treated even worse, in Men it is a sign you have given up, do not give up to a arsehole who treated you badly.

Woman should be treated like a Lady, the way I do to my present Wife.

Nothing more is not accepted and a Man that abuses a Woman is not a Man.

Move on and good luck for the future.

I hope my little note helps you.

Answer 5

I have been through the same thing. You need to get back to the real you the person you were before you meet him cos he has taken that from you. I know everyone says it but as time goes by it will get easier. Just think you can meet someone who will treat you nice and what a refreshing change that will be! Give yourself time and spend time with any family

ly or friend you trust. Counselling is a good move. Good luck!

Answer 6

Keep positive it does take a long time to go away and you still never completely heal. Just say nice things about yourself and hopefully things do get better for you. I never got over the things that happen to me i just started to learn how to live with it. But everyday is a struggle, but don't ever let someone who has problems that they have to lower people to make them selfs feel better get you down. No the person you are and go towards the person you want to be good luck. I really hope every thing works out for you.

Answer 7

Therapy. Yeah I know it sounds so cliche, but it's the honest truth. Before you can move on or even "get back to you" to need to address what happened and recover. Do not seek professional help from friends or the internet, this could actually do more harm! Your friends and family maybe a great tool in the recovery process, but you need to get professional help. Even if you are financially strapped, there are many many outreach centers all over this nation that are willing to help at little to no cost. It's your life now, you must do what you have to so you can "get back to you".

Answer 8

The cause of any abuse in a relationship is the victim. If you notice abuse first time and you call police and get him arrested, you save a lot of others from abuse. If you stay with him for two years, you get him to improve his methods and get ready to abuse another woman more efficiently after you. You also damage yourself for life.

Answer 9

Time is one thing, as well as some therapy, support groups, etc.

My fiance helped me escape an abusive ex-husband and he helped me reclaim my life. I felt lost and unsure when he told me I could do what I wanted, wear what I wanted, etc. I actually had to look to him for reassurance that I had my life back. I'd say the best way is reclaim your life, do what you've always wanted to do. Change your hair, your clothes, be selfish for a bit while discovering yourself. It helped me a lot.

Answer 10

Well Laura, that's something I've also contemplated but will answer with the following: The counseling will help. Other than that, you need to surround yourself with good people. Our environments are very important to our growth and development. You will Hope you find the answer you're looking for Laura!

Answer 11

Right now you're adjusting to being on your own - this can be difficult, especially if he was the controlling type who called all the shots for you. You need to start to re-engage with your friends you may have lost touch with, and the things you liked to do on your own. You may want to get counseling to sort out the anxiety issues. But whatever you do - don't go back.

Answer 12

Therapy. You are out after 2 years. I'm on year 3 of therapy and fresh out of 23 years of it...



Just be patient with yourself.

Answer 13

Laura yes I would advise you to open your heart in prayer. Mother Teresa of calcutta has a healing prayer called "Jesus My all in All" found on line. I was in my twenties and coming from heart break and an abusive childhood, I was looking for love in all the wrong places girl. When I made Christ Jesus my priority daily my life became so much more happy and on course. Please join a church and go to services on Sunday. I am rooting for you!

Answer 14

i was in a abusive relationship for 3 years, he lived 2 hrs away and he would drive places but if he got mad he kicked me out of the car, once when he was still driving. and left me there not knowing where i was. he would always kick me out of his house if i didnt want to have sex. he would always hit me, kick me, pull my hair, slap me. and one day i called the cops on him and he said nothing happened it was just a joke, and when they left he really started hitting me,. his dad would always tell me,,u know he is bipolar u cant make him mad or he will keep doing it. and its just like well u see ur son hrting me and u say its my fault, so i always believed it was me.

when i would go to school he would get mad at me for being on the school bus if he heard a guy next to me, the bus driver always saw me cry. then i would be late to classes cause he called me in between every class. if i stayed in class late to take a test or something he would call and call and ***** and i would just cry everyday. if i couldnt get my parents to drive me down there he would just be so rude. he never came to see me. and so finally i broke up with him, but i made sure i wasnt alone cause i was scared he would come up here and hurt me.

but i just focused on work, and trying to be happy, i started hanging out with friends again and my parents were a big help, just make sure u have alot of ppl who love u to cheer u up, that wont help comelty but at least u are gonna see counseling.

but i met this new amazing guy and i told him everything that my ex did. he said he would never do that. and i mean i ruined our relationship at first just being scared and nervous and insecure but i know he is different. almost 4 yrs with him, 2 kids and im only 21.

but i still feel like the past messed me up but at least u got out of it, just make sure u dnt go back

Answer 15

The counseling will help. Other than that, you need to surround yourself with good people. Our environments are very important to our growth and development. You will be okay. I promise you.