why is it my son and husband only listen when i shout?

Question

i will ask them something nicely and repeat it over and over again then after a few times of being nice i get fustrated and start shouting then they tell me they hate it when i shout but they move like lightening when i do shout and get things done. i dont get it, why do i need to shout to be heard? then only to be told i hate it when you shout or you always shout! why dont they understand that i shout AFTER telling them a good few times to do something if its not done i will leave it until a few days have passed try again then shout again then they listen...when im nice they take it for granted when im stressed they don't help. then i feel like im a bad mum and wife but if only they listened i would not have to get so stressed out. dont they understand that all i want is to be respected and heard without shouting?

Answer 1

I think most wives and mothers have wondered the same thing. You aren't alone. Try not to take their behavior personally. They don't always intentionally ignore you; they just don't hear you when they are focused on something else (until you yell.) When you want them to do something, walk to where they are, stand in front of them to get their attention and make eye contact, then say what you need to say. It will require you to stop what you are doing in order to get their attention, but it works. After some time, they will see you coming and start paying attention to try to prevent you from walking in between them and the television.

Answer 2

Hai, you are the guy to act now. you are able to take your sound up and can supply some shouting on your husband. you are able to .or you will positioned your sons destiny in risk. call your son returned on your place and stand employer for him. tell your husband boldly and strongly that, a 13 12 months cant keep in mind doing all that its not his fault its your fault putting extra burden on him. you are able to communicate that in the process front of anybody not whilst he became on my own. Your hus would get indignant with you for some days, yet under no circumstances techniques yet serve him as generally happening and make him comprehend by way of YOUR movements that your boy is efficacious to you. Do you have the coronary heart to do what i stated then dont wait. have a plan and do it. I certainly have achieved some thing like that for my son. Now my hus and my hus relatives dare speaking against him. Make comprehend your son. its not his mistake. see each age have its very own limits. its his enjoying time. and be a praying mom to your son. First turn to God approximately it. have a prayer. then pass hence. Gods help could be there then only you may get victory over your husbands movements. Introduce Jesus on your son and ask him to wish to his heavenly father. Jesus isn't a narrative. he's alive for you. in simple terms call up on him.

Answer 3

They don't pay attention to you. That's what my first husband would do - and then he'd say, "you didn't have to shout!" Uh, but apparently I *did*, since you didn't LISTEN until I went ape!

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There IS another way to do things. You can try a couple of different things. First, being to ask nicely when you do need help (say, before dinner, that one person or the other needs to get the utensils or water - don't do it, just ask them; and if they don't do it, don't do it for them. Then thank them, if they have done it. Catch them when they are doing what they are supposed to do, and praise them. This works! This trains them that you can be heard being supportive.) And if that doesn't work, then you only do for yourself and not for them - BUT, but but, this option ONLY works if you don't get angry about it. If you get mad, then they have won, and they know it. If it is to be a real consequence for THEM, it can't involve you getting angry.

Answer 4

Sounds like the three of you need to sit down and have a calm, non-shouting conversation. The fact is that if all 3 of you live in one house then all 3 of you need to contribute to the running of the house. Each can be assigned specific things to do (write it on a chore chart or something) by a certain time. Not doing chores means consequences...no TV, games, whatever. Tell them you are tired of shouting at them, but you are more tired of HAVING to shout to get them to freaking do what you ask. Good luck.

Answer 5

You've all got into a routine; you ask, they ignore, you shout and they do what you say. I'm not 100% sure how, but you need to break this pattern. With children in schools, you give them a choice; do this now or do it when your favourite program is on for example. Don't raise your voice, only ask once and if all else fails, stop doing everything around the house until they give something back!

Answer 6

I went through the same thing. They listen when you shout because it has gotten to THAT point. I got mine to listen when I stopped cooking, cleaning, doing the laundry. Maybe you should go on a strike around the house and see if that will change things. It is sad to resort to that, but when you become the personal maid, mom, wife and respect flow out the window. Going on strike changed attitudes in my house with a quickness.

Answer 7

How about saying to them, " I hate it when I shout. But I don't understand why I need to shout to be heard. So, why do I need to shout?"



However, I have this saying, 'If shouting ever changed anything, why would I still need to shout'.



Sash.

Answer 8

maybe thats all they are use to hearing from you it tends to become programed into our heads after years of nagging and yelling maybe if you tried more often not to yell it would change

Answer 9

Maybe because you nag and they have learned to tune you out.

Maybe because it's how you ask

Maybe it's the way you say it

The list goes on and on as to why...why not talk to them about it ?

Answer 10

sounds like a typical guy thing to me.

Answer 11

google: communication

and learn how to get what you want in a reasonable way.